How to Lift Your Spirits?

Note: This article is based on the blog post by Angela Ruth, in which she tells us about a way to talk about yourself.

All of us have this positive self-talk at some point, and when we falter or second-guess ourselves, that unpleasant voice may make us feel horrible. At those times, it can be challenging to remain attentive, engaged, and productive.

How do you talk about yourself?

Treat yourself kindly, as you would a friend who needs support. Positive self-talk has the following benefits:

• It provides new perspectives in difficult times.
• It increases self-confidence and self-efficacy.
• It helps manage mental health, which is also good for your physical well-being.
• It opens you up to new opportunities and relationships.

In short, positive self-talk is not about ignoring negativity, also known as toxic positivity. Instead, identify your strengths and use them to solve problems. It can be really easy to add this to your daily routine with the following tips:

1. Beware of conflicting self-talk

"If your current self-talk is negative, don't try to overcompensate with motivational statements; in other words, don't yell 'I'm the best' to energize yourself," Malla Wollan writes for The New York Times Magazine. "Research suggests that people with low self-esteem who try to force positive self-talk can end up feeling resentful," Wollan adds.

So instead, start slowly. That is, follow the “experiential mindset,” as scientists call it, too. Try giving yourself commands, like taking a deep breath. In a study of divers, “those who practiced educational self-talk were found to be more focused and confident than those who practiced motivational self-talk.”

2. Challenge negative thoughts and cognitive distortions

At the same time, if your inner voice is giving out negative self-talk, you need to tell it to stop thinking. If you don't, you're adding unnecessary stress and anxiety to your life, and you're also sabotaging your motivation and productivity. To stop negative self-talk, try the following strategies:

• Whenever these kinds of thoughts come up, write them down in a journal or notebook. It is a simple and effective way to identify patterns.
• If you are thinking of ruminating, literally say to yourself, "Stop it."
• Put a rubber band around your wrist and pull it back when thinking a negative thought.
• Replace this bad habit with softer phrases, e.g., instead of yelling, "I hate the traffic light," say, "The traffic light in rush hour bothers me."
• Make the most of your time. It can be frustrating when the unexpected happens, like canceling a meeting at the last minute. So instead of giving in to anger, use this short period of time to your advantage, like by working on cleaning out your inbox or maybe your desk.
• Turn self-limiting statements into questions. Instead of saying, "I can't do that," ask yourself, "How do I make this possible?"

3. Don't say, "I can't"

When I was a teenager, my parents loosened the rules about what I was and wasn’t allowed to say. Today I use a similar technique with the phrase "I can't." When you say "I can't" thoughtlessly, you are setting yourself up for failure.

This is because this phrase leads to self-doubt; hence, you have to remove it from your dictionary. It may not be an easy task, but it is possible with practice.

To start, stop being afraid of failure and use it as a learning opportunity. After that, give yourself visual reminders, such as note cards or stickers, and ask others to alert you when you say that you can’t do something. If you find yourself saying it, stop and replace it with "I can."

4. Focus on what you're doing

Remember in the past when you socialized, whether in person or during an exploratory call? There was a fine line that you had to pay attention to, and that is when you have to convince others that you are not an arrogant and selfish person. Often, you can do this by talking about your favorite clients or about a project that you are particularly proud of.

You can also share what you have at work, and you can have a conversation about the skills you are currently developing or the things that excite you. There is no need to take this literally, but I hope this helps. When you need motivation, focus on your achievements, what you look forward to, and how to be a source of strength to others.

5. Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude has been shown to increase happiness, well-being, and self-esteem. It can also improve relationships, decision-making, and general health. If you stop and think about it, it makes sense. By focusing on what you have, not what you don't have, you may change your attitude, which in turn will promote positive self-talk.

The easiest way to practice gratitude is to start using a gratitude journal. All you need to do is write down 3 to 5 things you feel grateful for within the day, or keep an online journal and jot them down at the end of the day.

6. Talk to yourself in the third person

“At first, you may feel silly doing this, but psychological science supports the practice,” says Dr. Jade Wu, also known as the intelligent psychologist. “A brain-imaging study suggests that when you think about having a bad memory or seeing something unpleasant, talking to yourself in the third person activates areas of the brain that involve less self-control than if you were speaking in the first person.

You may need to use less self-control to regulate feelings when you say, “Hey (add your name), it's okay, you got this,” than when you say, “I got this,” she adds. “Those self-talks create a slight illusion. You're talking to someone else, which makes emotion regulation easier, and when it comes to emotion regulation in high-stakes situations, any help we can get is a good thing.”

7. Stop comparing

It is easy to fall into this trap. When you go to update your status on Instagram, you might see a high school friend showing off their new house or car, a college friend who was in Europe last month, or a former co-worker who got a promotion.

Here's the truth: You don't know what goes on behind the scenes. They may have bought their mansion on credit or secured a higher position at work at the expense of their time with their family. Expressing gratitude can help. So define what success means to you and enjoy your life.

8. Repeat motivational phrases

Here's a simple way to lift your spirits: write motivational phrases on stickers, put them somewhere in the home or office, like on the fridge door, or add them to your online calendar. Changing the tone of your inner voice also encourages you to harness the power of repetition.

9. Don't think about the past

Robin Sharma says, “Every second you think about the past, you steal from your future, and every minute you spend focusing on problems, you waste time finding solutions.” This is a great quote. We all made mistakes, and we will always have regrets. But what happened is already over. So learn from your mistakes, grow from them, and focus on the present.