Note: This article is from blogger Douglas Cartwright, who shares his personal experience with fostering a spirit of challenge.
Well, the bad news here is that everyone will answer differently to this question because everyone looks at it differently. However, the good news is: find ways that discovering them can help you follow the right approach, and you can develop those methods yourself.
One method I know that can really help is learning NLP or neuroscience and applying it to yourself, as well as hiring an expert trainer or practitioner to help you.
I have been working in personal development for 16 years. Overcoming challenges is an ongoing process, and I would be happy to share my experiences with you if they can inspire you.
As a young man, I grew up in a home where my mentally ill mother, who could only tolerate her own beliefs, repressed whatever independence I tried to express. Nobody took action despite the physical and psychological torture I endured. In high school, I experienced terrible bullying that led to a nervous breakdown, divorce, and loss of my sales career, apartment, and kids all in the same year.
I went to Wales, next to England, to climb mountains almost a year after we split up. I did not fully anticipate that I would regain my strength and energy. When I was standing at the top of Skirrit Mountain and gazing up at the birds flying in the sky, a strong wind blew me off the summit, and that's when I knew I did not want to die.
Many years later, I got wedded to a fantastic woman I adore, and we are currently expecting our first child. I also obtained a better job, and I currently work as a successful coach for charities and will shortly be joining the NHS.
When I was at my lowest, I decided to leave this circumstance, so perhaps the advice I'm about to give you will be helpful.
I have found that fostering a challenging spirit requires:
- Having beliefs about what is important in life (values).
- forming a coherent vision of those beliefs.
- Dealing with fear of loss.
- Learning to take risks.
- Developing an optimistic mindset.
- Taking action.
.jpg_d72ac5b8038904d_large.jpg "Overcoming Obstacles")
Promoting a challenging spirit
In the following, we will talk about each of these elements:
1. Having beliefs about what is important in life (values)
In Alice in Wonderland, the cat Cheshire tells Alice, “If you don't know where you're going, which way will get you to your destination.”
You have to figure out what matters to you in life or what is significant to you. This second point is crucial since, despite what most publications advise, sometimes it's easy to forget what it takes to succeed.
For me, it was necessary to prioritize helping people and making money, in addition to listening to my wife's grievances and paying attention to what I had done to irritate her.
I was not raised with these ideals, but I had to learn to live by them to succeed. You might wonder, "How can I appreciate something I do not care about?" Finding solutions is the goal here. While most might not be simple, they exist.
Simply putting your reasons for being interested in this new activity or way of thinking in writing can help things seem more meaningful.
Once you've decided what you want out of life, you won't let anything stand in your way and be prepared for anything that comes your way.
2. Form a coherent vision of those beliefs
Values are beliefs about what is significant, and combining your values can help you create a vision. You will be able to identify your vision.
For instance, if you think that everyone is created equal and that access to necessities is something that all people should have, as this is a fundamental human right, you will be able to determine your vision.
It is perfectly fine to develop your vision gradually. Not everyone is fully inspired or has a clear vision about what to do. However, living a mediocre life just because you don't know what you want to do is unacceptable.
Your vision aids in eliminating pointless tasks, and your ability to prioritize improves with more clarity about your goals.
3. Dealing with the fear of loss
Many people struggle with managing their fear of losing something. As we grow older, accumulate more possessions and responsibilities, and start a family we must provide for and protect, we worry about losing what we have, not just material things.
We fear losing our reputation, not being prepared, appearing foolish, undervaluing ourselves after making a mistake, worrying about what others think of us, and much more. However, if you find yourself struggling with these concerns, there are some things you can do to help yourself feel better.
3.1. Face your fears
After my first marriage ended, I confronted my anxieties head-on. Even though I wasn't entirely at fault, accepting responsibility for my mistakes was the most challenging thing I've ever done. Despite the pain, I was able to overcome it. So, if you are in an overwhelming situation, ensure you are prepared to face it since you are already thinking about it.
3.2. Track the basis of your concerns
Books such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns can help overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. Additionally, having a good coach can also assist you in this process.
If you are willing to explore what is holding you back, you can achieve your desired outcomes more quickly. A coach can help you identify areas you may not want to face but are necessary for personal growth and self-awareness.
The greatest thing I have learned after all these years is that this fear is only inside you, and you may say that you know that, but how much does this fear cost you? How many years will you waste because of your fear? How many chances will you lose? Your fear is related to you. People do not make you afraid, but you respond with fear to their words and actions.
3.3. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings
It is the first and most essential action you can take, and even if you never know how to manage your feelings, you can learn. I spent 15 years learning, failing, and getting up. When I was young, I acted like a victim because no one taught me that it was possible to think differently, and now I believe in the idea: “The most precious thing you have is never let yourself down.”
It is said that a person addicted to something cannot fully heal until they are disgusted with it.
- Are you disgusted by being a very negative person?
- Are you prepared enough to start taking your fear seriously?
- Are you thinking of a particular way?
After these years of learning, I realize I can make these changes. It is a matter of time and perseverance, so I can eliminate this fear.
4. Learning to Take Risks
Life involves risks, and it's about determining how dangerous something is. Risk is not just an emotion but also a result of factual analysis. If I bring up any matter, a friend of mine can help me handle it. That gives me a sense of security that everything will work out.
With this knowledge, my friend can assist me in identifying what is feasible and what is not, as well as what information I need to proceed."
I'm all for exploring fresh, more productive ways of thinking, but you sometimes must act without first considering your options. Sometimes, you only have to decide to do something, regardless of your feelings.
I didn't trust people when I was younger, but this strategy didn't work and was destroying my relationships, so I decided to take a chance. I haven't regretted it yet, and the individuals I trusted are still the same, but now I view them more positively.
5. Developing an optimistic way of thinking
Even though you don't want to think that way all the time, optimistic thinking refers to adopting the belief that things may turn out better or as you had anticipated. Instead, see it as a tool to help you complete a task.
If you appreciate this realistic viewpoint, you'll see how helpful it is. You hold yourself accountable for whatever goes wrong in your attempts, so you have to be able to think about success if you want to give yourself a chance to succeed.
6. Taking action
I'll quote British enterprise success specialist Chris Cardell since the action has already received a lot of attention:
“The main difference between the wealthy entrepreneurs and the rest of the people is that the wealthy fail more than the rest.”
But why?
Compare these people to those afraid of failing, especially when marketing, because they are more proactive, take action every day, and don't care if they have failed because their only goal is success.
The millionaire businessman understands that fear of failure exists and is prepared to apply strategies without promising success or eliminating the possibility of failure. Thus, he implements, tests, reviews, and then implements once more.
Rich business people aren't afraid to try new things, fail more often, stumble more, get back up, and try again. However, because they are still in the stages of planning, learning, and thinking, most business owners would obsess over the little things, worry about their failure, and never actually try anything. Naturally, they are unaware that they have already failed. Nobody fails until they give up trying to accomplish something; when they give up, they fail horribly.
In conclusion
In his book The 4-Hour Workweek, Timothy Ferris claims that people mistakenly believe they are incapable of accomplishing great things.
They do not realize this, and while it is acceptable to be fallible as a human, it is also wise to persevere to achieve your goals. All you need to do is have faith in your abilities to succeed.
Add comment