Note: This article is by Erin Falconer, who shares 3 ways to deal with your negative inner voice.
Their persistent negativity and discouragement frequently demoralize individuals, undermining their capabilities and potential. This fosters fear, self-doubt, and helplessness, ultimately impeding any meaningful advancement or pursuit of aspirations.
Steps to Manage Negative Self-Talk Effectively
1. Understanding The Nature Of The Ego
The ego's primary function is self-protection. In ancient times, humans developed this internal voice to safeguard themselves against dangers and predatory threats. However, with the evolution of society and the diminished prevalence of immediate physical dangers, the ego's protective mechanisms have become less relevant in contemporary times.
The ego sounds the alarm whenever an individual encounters a situation they haven't dealt with before, consistently responding with negativity. It discourages one from launching their project and undermines their worth when they consider asking for a raise or pursuing the emotional relationship they dream of, as it convinces itself it's undeserving.
The ego often rationalizes its actions by claiming to protect the individual from humiliation, disappointment, and the self-criticism that follows rejection or failure. The issue arises when it successfully persuades one to backtrack on their decisions and avoid taking risks due to potential negative outcomes.
True progress, growth, and satisfaction in life come when individuals dare to engage in new, daring experiences and push beyond their comfort zones.
The Origin Of The Ego
You must pinpoint the origin of this internal voice so you understand that it's imposed from external sources and not inherent to you. This internal dialogue is shaped by memories from your formative years, the circumstances and values instilled by your upbringing and teachings from your parents, and the traumatic and humiliating events you've encountered throughout your life.
You need to pinpoint the commonalities between the ego and the individuals in your life. By doing so, you'll recognize that your familial and social surroundings and the difficult circumstances you've encountered have contributed to shaping this internal voice. Importantly, it's not inherently linked to your personality.
The ego's voice will remain ever-present, so there's no need to feel helpless or disheartened upon recognizing this fact. Instead, embrace it and cease resistance against your ego. Make a firm decision to disregard the ego's voice and refrain from believing it; embracing this truth will bring you inner peace.
Self-help experts such as American author Marianne Williamson, German writer Eckhart Tolle, and American entrepreneur Marie Forleo have openly shared their struggles with this internal voice. However, they have learned to control it, and you can too.
2. Taming The Ego
2.1. Assigning A Specific Label To The Ego
Assigning a specific name to the ego and giving it a personal touch helps to detach it from yourself, portraying it as an independent external entity. Additionally, labeling adds a sense of humor to the concept, making the process more enjoyable.
Some amusing names I've heard for my ego include Dream Crusher, the Trickster, Morale Dasher, the Petty, or the Fool. When you realize that the ego is distinct from your true self and does not define your personality, you'll become less influenced by its chatter. Therefore, decided not to heed its voice.
2.2. Avoid Overthinking
When negative thoughts and voices become overwhelming, you can listen to music and dance, go for a walk or hike, or engage in any physical activity rather than staying in one place and surrendering to these negative voices.
2.3. Mental Presence
When the ego's voice starts to dominate, triggering feelings of fear, anxiety, and tension, turning your attention inward is crucial. Pay attention to the sensations in your body, focus on your breath, and listen carefully to the rhythm of your inhales and exhales. Tune into the flow of air through your airways into your lungs and out again with each breath.
Be mindful of any sensations of tension in your chest or stomach. Being mentally present helps interrupt negative thinking, while practice assists you in recognizing the ego's ways and swiftly regaining control over your thoughts and feelings.
3. Recognizing Your Abilities And Potentials
When you reach this stage, you'll have transformed, becoming bold, self-assured, and determined to achieve your goals. You'll possess all the necessary qualities, talents, skills, and potential to realize your aspirations as long as you rid yourself of the ego and the negative thoughts and self-doubt that hinder these abilities.
In Conclusion
You should utilize these attributes to overcome the obstacles and challenges that may arise as you strive to build the fulfilling life you deserve. With the negative voices of the ego silenced, you're now capable of actively working towards improving your life.
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