Why Does Negativity Seem Genuine and Valuable?

Consequently, it suggests it's better not to try or make any effort. While you might believe that abstaining from trying shields you from disappointment and rejection, it diminishes the opportunity for genuine improvements in your life.

What Are the Benefits of Negativity? And Why Does It Seem Genuine?

Negative thinking, or the belief that outcomes are likely to be unfavorable, stems from evolutionary psychology ingrained in our brains since ancient times. This kind of thinking can start early in our childhood. Negative bias or information teaches humans how to adapt for survival. Therefore, we naturally tend to prioritize negatives over positives.

Some researchers and evolutionary psychology experts suggest that negative thinking appears as a form of knowledge and becomes deeply ingrained as a belief. Negative thoughts can feel more accurate, logical, and rational. They may be perceived as an unequivocal truth, much like the certainty of reading these words.

The truth is that the world is a challenging place and doesn't bend to our will. Thus, growth, evolution, and survival naturally revolve around adapting to and dealing with difficulties. In this sense, negative bias relates to realism and adapting to reach our goals.

What's the Major Issue with Negative Thinking?

The problem arises when negative bias transforms into a negative scheme or a way of thinking or even becomes an entire lifestyle. Negative thinking is an excessive focus on negative aspects to the extent that your perception of what is possible becomes inaccurate, which hinders your path to achieving goals. Excessive negativity leads to a paralysis in action for when action is limited or feeble, implementing positive change becomes more challenging, reinforcing and fueling the negative outlook.

Negative thinking can stem from real experiences of deprivation, neglect, or emotional hardship that we might have encountered at some point in our lives, especially during childhood. Hence, there might have been a time when negativity was a useful means of adaptation. However, the problem arises when we become adults, responsible for our goals and lives. A negative outlook can hinder us from pursuing our lives in a normal, fulfilling manner.

What Are the Key Indicators of a Negative Thinking Pattern?

1. You 'just try to be realistic' about your limits and capabilities, stating you're not ready to undertake something.
2. You believe there are no good options in the world and it's better to accept this as an unchangeable truth.
3. You think facing a new challenge will reveal your flaws and be humiliating.
4. You believe it's better to 'not get your hopes up' or disappoint others by not taking a shot because it's futile.
5. You think failure is unacceptable and not a part of the growth process.
6. You believe that trying and failing will result in rejection and damage relationships.
7. You think you lack 'proof' that effort leads to positive outcomes.

Where Does Negative Thinking Stem From?

Early childhood experiences filled with emotional hardship or neglect may lead a child to instinctively assume that personal effort won't lead to praise, positive feelings, or achieving positive outcomes. Consequently, they resort to negativity as a shield against the emotional harm caused by feelings of disappointment or rejection.

Deprivation of affection within the family system can result in various mental and psychological disorders. Therefore, the child resorts to negativity as a means of self-protection from psychological harm caused by feelings of frustration or rejection. Several mental and psychological disorders stem from the lack of affection within the family system.

The Contagious Nature of Negativity Across Generations

Negative thinking can be perpetuated across family generations. When a generation undergoes profound hardships like enduring economic struggles, harsh migration experiences, or prolonged physical or psychological violence, the belief that life is inherently challenging and that efforts won't yield positive outcomes becomes deeply ingrained. This mindset often gets transmitted to younger family members as a 'realistic' or logical outlook on life.

They also learn that expressing emotion is a form of foolishness, a sign of weakness, or a lack of masculinity. A family history marked by trauma, neglect, or addiction can strongly foster the belief that we cannot expect affection, love, or support from family members or any other party. This leads to the development of a negative thinking pattern.

What Are the Key Methods to Change Your Way of Thinking?

1. Grasping The Past

Write a narrative of your childhood events in the third person and ask yourself: What could this child do to overcome negativity as they grow up? Did they go through a period of hardship and emotional neglect, or was there something worse during that time? Is it logical to make them negative? Now, as an adult, you don't have to remain stuck in that negative view. You can help yourself with methods that children cannot do.

2. Cost-Benefit Analysis

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers a simple yet effective tool called 'Cost-Benefit Analysis.' Draw a simple chart with four columns: the first titled 'Negative Thinking,' the second 'Costs of Holding onto this Thought,' the third 'Benefits of Holding onto this Thought,' and the fourth 'Possible Outcome of Embracing this Thought.' This will help you determine if it's logical to continue with the negative perspective or to change it.

3. Accepting The Concept of Failure

Acknowledging failure as an essential stride toward success, writers, and artists comprehend that their initial endeavors in a new project may falter or fall short of expectations. Yet, from these perceived "failures," they craft a final product they cherish. Embracing these initial efforts isn't about deeming them "bad". They resemble the initial strikes of an axe on wood—a start that may not cut immediately but is crucial for the eventual outcome.

4. Learn How to Deal with Negative Feelings

Learning to navigate feelings of rejection and disappointment, much like dealing with failure, is part of the growth and flourishing process. These emotions are integral to the journey of evolution and development, meant to be experienced in the tapestry of life, encompassing its highs and lows. Instead of entirely avoiding or deeming these feelings unacceptable, it's essential to acknowledge and process them. However, when these emotions become excessively challenging or detrimental to your life, seeking guidance from a therapist can be beneficial.

To Overcome a Negative Outlook, Why Not Embrace Stoicism?

Researcher Tim Lebon states, "I'm a psychotherapist and the research director of the Modern Stoicism organization, a non-profit aiming to test whether Stoicism yields tangible results. Since 2012, we've been hosting the International Stoic Week annually, allowing people to experience Stoicism and evaluate its usefulness. Participants are asked to complete a set of well-being questionnaires at the beginning and end of the week to assess their impact.

Tim Lebon adds, "I almost fell off my chair when I began analyzing the results from the first week. Most participants were extremely positive in their feedback, and what's particularly striking is that well-being surveys indicated significant improvements, whether it was regarding life satisfaction, flourishing, increased positive emotions, or decreased negative feelings.

Consistently, these results have been replicated in every Stoic Week we've conducted. In 2021, over 1200 individuals completed the week's activities and reported an average increase of 13% in positive emotions, coupled with a decrease of 21% in negative feelings. Stoicism can also assist during times of crisis, among other benefits.

How About Being an Enthusiast Stoic?

One prominent finding from a study we conducted in 2017 was the discovery of the personality trait most correlated with Stoicism: zest. This denotes energy and a willingness to tackle life's challenges. Being stoic doesn't mean sitting on the balcony of your ivory palace, watching the sunset while indulging in the finest foods and drinks. On the contrary, Stoicism propels you toward engagement in life, work, knowledge, and seeking wisdom. Comfort holds no value without diligent and hard work, as life lacks meaning without endeavor.

In Conclusion

If you've lived most of your life with negative thoughts, you might be battling depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It takes courage and boldness to confront your way of facing the difficulties and risks this world is filled with.

Risks might seem daunting, but if you're living with a negative outlook, what do you stand to lose? What you stand to gain is a new relationship with yourself, one that's more compassionate, leading to realistically better outcomes in the future.