Note: This article is based on the work of consultant Karlyn Borysenko, PhD in Organizational Psychology, who tells us about her experience with stress addiction.
You may have a tendency to answer "no" to these questions, but slow down and think about the last time something at work let you down, and then look at your actions as an outside observer would. If you are honest with yourself, you may change your answers.
There you have it: I experience this all the time, with my corporate clients, my coaching clients, and even my friends and loved ones. They like to complain about their jobs, talk about all the things that are going wrong, talk about the people they don't like, and question the decisions their boss makes.
Although a little bit of complaining and respite doesn't hurt, they also ignore or underestimate the potential solutions that are presented to them on a silver platter. Convinced that nothing will change their experience, they persist in this manner for years on end, saying they wish things would improve but rejecting possible solutions and opportunities when presented.
There is only one explanation that makes sense in the circumstances: they are addicted to the feeling that stress at work gives them, even through their deep subconscious.
The Science of Stress at Work
People become addicted to all kinds of harmful things: smoking, alcohol, drugs, and food. There are even studies that show that women in long-term abusive relationships are more likely to have frequent abusive relationships.
Constantly experiencing something over a long period of time makes you addicted to that thing. It's not because you like him; it's because it becomes "normal," and any experience outside of this level that you are used to becomes uncomfortable.
We don't think of ourselves as being addicted to emotions like stress, but think about that for a moment. When you feel emotional stress (frustration, anger, exhaustion, and burnout), you don't just feel it psychologically but also physically. You get nervous, you get a headache, you grind your teeth, and you might start to feel a backache. This means that you are experiencing a physical reaction to an emotional experience.
Stress isn't the only feeling that goes along with this; think of the stress you feel when you're in love or when you can lift heavier weights in the gym if you're in a good mood. Remember the last time you had a nightmare and woke up sweating and out of breath as if you had just run 5 kilometers, even though you were lying quietly in bed? Everything we experience in our minds manifests itself in the body.
That feeling occurs when you experience a particular emotion, and the brain receives signals to send chemicals to the body so that you can physically feel those emotions. This is why your body reacts the way your brain does. And your brain tells it so, and if you get used to these feelings constantly and for a long time, you will be physically addicted to those chemicals as if you are getting your own treatment.
So what happens when you de-stress? Let's say you have a few nice slow days at work. You can focus on what you want to do; you don't have a lot of interactions with others, and things run smoothly. It's quiet, but now your brain has no reason to produce those stress chemicals you've become addicted to, and then your body starts to physically withdraw, and then it starts sending subliminal signals that you better find something to be nervous about. So you find a problem—usually easy to find at work—and work around it to give your body its calling.
You can even create a problem that didn't exist before, which may sound crazy if you think about it from a logical perspective, but at that moment you are not acting logically. Your actions are a response to your addiction to stress.
Get Rid of Stress Addiction
Acknowledging the problem is the first step towards a solution. When you break your addiction to stress at work, you will be more focused, more creative, and have more peace of mind. However, you also need to do this for your health. When stress lasts for a long period of time, it will eventually lead to physical illness.
Your body can face this disease for a period of time before it wears you down, and the really scary thing is that it is difficult to predict what disease it could be. It could be job burnout, physical exhaustion, a headache, or a heart attack. This is the most important reason for you to take this problem seriously. This is not only to produce better work; It's to make sure you don't cause yourself long-term physical problems.
Getting rid of the stress addiction at work is like getting rid of any other addiction. It's hard, and your desire to change your circumstances should be greater than the pull of your addiction, but if you're committed to solving the problem, you can make it happen.
Always be aware of where you focus your attention, and any time you become aware of a problem or something you find frustrating, Focus instead on the solution. If it's a solvable problem, then don't worry about it and just start solving it. If it's not a solvable problem, worrying won't do you any good.
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