There are several tips that can help you stop talking to yourself and consider why you’re doing so.
In this article, we will mention the most prominent tips that can help you deal with self-talk and evaluate whether it is benefiting you or hindering your daily progress, and we will introduce ways to overcome this problem. Follow along if you're interested!
Evaluate your inner self-talk
| Positive self-talk could be beneficial in situations where you need motivation, such as in a job interview or during a hard exercise session. |
1. Determine the origins of the voices in your head
If you're experiencing an auditory hallucination, then you should consult a psychiatrist. This can be a symptom of a serious mental illness. One of the first steps is to determine whether the voice is coming from you or not.
For example, you should determine whether you’re thinking and forming these words consciously or if you have no idea what these voices are about to tell you next. This might be a sign of a mental disorder such as schizophrenia, depression, or psychosis.
Other signs of a mental disorder include hearing more than one voice, as well as having thoughts, visions, tastes, smells, and touches that you did not actually experience in reality. Lucid dreams are also examples.
You may also hear voices throughout the day that have an adverse effect on your ability to function normally, make you feel isolated and withdrawn, or even threaten you if you don't follow what they order you to do.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms when you talk to yourself, it is better to consult a mental health specialist to eliminate any possibility of having a mental illness that could negatively affect your life and health.
2. Look into the context of your inner self-talk
What types of things do you talk to yourself about? Is it about how your day went? Or what do you plan to do next? Or is it about something that has happened recently? Do you recall lines from a movie?
Self-talk is not necessarily bad, as it can help you express your thoughts and organize them. It also helps you contemplate things deeply, especially when it comes to making a hard decision such as enrolling in college or choosing a gift for someone.
3. Assess your self-talk, whether it is generally positive or negative
Positive self-talk could be beneficial in situations where you need motivation, such as in a job interview or during a hard exercise session. For example, when you say to yourself, “I got this,” or “I can do this,” these phrases could convince you and give you a boost of confidence prior to undertaking something important. This way, you could encourage yourself, and self-talk in these situations would pay off.
However, if your self-talk is essentially negative, where you usually blame or criticize yourself, like when you say “Why am I so stupid?” or “I never do anything correctly,” and other things, it could indicate serious psychological or emotional issues and such.
Rumination may be evident if you find yourself talking to yourself constantly and dwelling on a recent unpleasant experience. For instance, if you had a minor argument with one of your coworkers and then spent the next two hours thinking about it and remembering what you could have said, this is not a good sign.
4. Assess the effects of your self-talk on your emotions
It's okay for all of us to act irrationally occasionally. However, to maintain your mental health, you must ensure that this habit is actually normal and has no negative effects on your self-esteem or how you go about your daily activities. So, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel anxious or guilty regarding how frequently I talk to myself?
- Does my self-talk make me sad, paranoid, or anxious?
- Do I talk to myself about a major issue?
If your answer to any of these questions was “yes,” then you should seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professionals. A licensed mental health professional can help you think about why you talk to yourself and work with you to develop strategies for controlling the habit.
5. Assess how others respond to your self-talk
Take into account how others react when they see you talking to yourself, because probably most people won’t notice that you do. However, if you notice specific reactions from people around you, this could be a sign that your self-talk is bothering others and that they are concerned about you. So, ask yourself these questions:
- Do people give me weird looks as I am roaming around?
- Do people often ask me to calm down?
- Is the first thing someone knows about me that I talk to myself?
- Did my teachers recommend a school counselor?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you should seek a counselor or other mental health specialist. People’s reactions could be an expression of concern for your safety. In addition, it’s important to understand that you might bother others with your self-talk and that you should control this habit for the sake of your social relationships.
How do you stop talking to yourself?
| Recognizing the behavior is the first step to reducing it. |
1. Admit doing it
When you find yourself talking aloud, acknowledge that you’re doing so and admit it to yourself. The next step is to keep track of how frequently you catch yourself speaking aloud throughout the day. Recognizing the behavior is the first step to reducing it.
2. Keep your inner self-talk to yourself
Try to keep the conversation to yourself. Once you realize that you are talking to yourself out loud, try to transfer the conversation going on in your head to your inner world. For example, you can clench your teeth or bite your lips, so you wouldn’t be able to open your mouth.
However, take into account that this may look strange to those around you. You can also try chewing gum to keep your mouth busy and refrain from talking.
If it is extremely hard for you to think without talking, try whispering. This way, the conversation could last a long time, but it wouldn’t be audible to others.
3. Allow self-talk only in certain situations
You can talk to yourself, for example, if you are home alone or in the car. As soon as you let loose and talk to yourself aloud, you’ll start doing it at any time. Hence, make some rules to limit how frequently you do so.
If you follow these rules for a week, reward yourself by watching a movie or having a light snack. As time goes by, try to reduce the situations where you allow yourself to talk to yourself until you stop once and for all.
4. Write down your inner self-talk
Buy a diary, especially for this purpose. This way, you can converse with yourself in writing rather than verbally. Writing down your ideas and then answering your own questions is one way to achieve this.
For instance, let's say you wanted to go out with a friend but hadn't received a reminder from him. In this situation, you might be tempted to talk to yourself aloud so you can write down the following:
- Why didn’t he call me?
- Maybe he’s busy, or maybe he doesn’t like you.
- Why are assuming that he doesn’t like me?
- Maybe he’s busy, or maybe you are not getting along very well because you don’t have the same interests and priorities.
- But I still feel rejected.
- This is an understandable feeling, but he is not the only friend in the world, and most importantly, you have many other great things to do.
Make sure to keep the journal with you at all times, whether in your bag, your car, or your pocket. Also, there are journal applications for your smartphone that you can use. Another advantage of this writing exercise is that you will have a record of the kinds of things you talk about or care about. Thus, you'll develop your creativity and have something to contribute.
In conclusion
Human beings have inconsistent feelings, thoughts, and sensations by nature. This is very normal, and there is no need to be alarmed by any behavior that may seem irrational.
All we need to do is address any psychological or physical symptom with wisdom, avoiding sources of nonsense and sorcery that would greatly exacerbate the issue.
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