Note: This article is by Lanre Solarin, who talks about how to change your negative attitude into a positive one.
That is, I used to view the positive situation as positive and the negative situation as negative, and there is no doubt that most of us still see things that way.
I read a self-help book called Goals by Brian Tracy, which talks about setting goals and achieving accomplishments, and then everything changed for me as I began to see negative situations as challenges and opportunities to learn.
It turns out that these negative attitudes are useful to me when I decide to see the positive among all the negatives. When you see a glass of water half full, you can say that it is half empty, and you have to empty it.
You can also say that it is half full and you have to fill it completely. In the first case, you look negatively at the cup, while in the second case, you look positively at it, and the reason is your positive attitude.
Unfortunately, most of us automatically take a negative perspective on things, and this is not our fault. We are a product of our environment, the circumstances we go through daily, and the negative people we meet daily. All of this makes our perspective on life negative, and it becomes our normal situation, and we do not suspect that there is anything wrong with it.
Perhaps we should ask here: Is adopting a negative attitude towards life because of the way we are treated or because we just want to act that way? We choose to see things in a negative way because of our emotions.
Negative Reactions Are The Result Of Nnegative Emotions
When you have a negative emotion like anger, you automatically stop seeing the positive side of anything. So when you have a fit of anger, you may find yourself heading towards something to break it, and whatever you choose becomes worthless because you lost control of your temper as soon as anger took control of you.
This is the power of emotions, and they determine your view of anything at any time. So if you want to see the positive side, you first need to replace your negative emotions with positive ones. To do this, we'll compare it to switching from a negative to a positive number in mathematics. We will inevitably pass through zero in this process, and zero here is neutral, meaning it is neither positive nor negative.
Thus, when you experience a bad emotion, think about the message from this situation that caused you to feel this way. Here, you will move from the state of feeling—which we compared to a number with a negative value—to the thinking state—which we compared to zero.
Here are some examples of how this works and how you can change your life using this technique:
1. As you are driving, a careless driver suddenly and unexpectedly passes you
Your negative view is that this driver is reckless and does not care about the lives of others. You scream at this driver out of frustration because you're angry. However, if you consider the lesson to be learned from this, you might understand that it is to always be patient with others, regardless of how rude they are.
After this thought, you will have a positive outlook, and you will probably tell yourself that this driver has no idea how to drive. You will tell yourself that you will not let him spoil your day, and then you will hope that the police will stop him from driving carelessly.
2. Your teen is fighting with you because you won't let him go out with his friends at night
You become enraged because of your son's disrespect for you and your negative attitude. Your reaction will be to yell at him and force him into his room. However, if you think about the message from this situation, you may realize that the point is to put yourself in your son's shoes to know how to deal with him.
After this reflection, you will have a positive point of view, so you will feel love towards your son, and you will appreciate that he is ignorant of the dangers of going out at night. Then you will try to make him understand that you do not prevent him from going out because you hate him but because you are trying to protect him.
3. You fail the job interview
Your negative attitude makes you feel sad and lowers your self-worth, but if you think about the message that you should get from the situation, you may find that this job may not be suitable for you or that you were not accepted for the job because something was missing on your resume. This is a positive perspective that makes you work to be more efficient in the future and look for another vacancy.
4. You fail the exam in the subject you studied so hard
Your negative attitude makes you scold yourself and think that you are stupid, but when you think about the message that must be understood from this situation, you will find that you must modify your method of studying. For example, you can change the time you study or the place where you study.
The positive point of view that you adopt will make you ask yourself why you did not answer these questions correctly, and then you will find that the solution may be to change the style of study or the environment in which you study.
5. Your partner leaves you after a year of marriage, leaving you all by yourself and burdened
Your negative attitude makes you feel sad because you love your partner, who no longer has the same feelings for you, and you feel that you are the victim and that you are pathetic. But when you think about the lesson that you must learn from this situation, you may find that you must learn how to become a better partner and overcome the failures in your emotional life.
When you think in this way, you will have a positive attitude, and you will see that divorce in this case is an opportunity for a new beginning, and perhaps you will get a new job and start your own small business.
6. Your car breaks down on the way to a business meeting, which could get you fired
Because of your negative attitude, you take out your frustration on the car, which will result in your dismissal. However, if you consider the lesson you may learn from this, you can realize that you should take preventative measures to avoid similar circumstances in the future.
Adopting a positive attitude will make you know that you are responsible for what happened because you did not take the necessary precautions in time. When the car engine was making noises indicating that it needed repair, you didn’t care about it and neglected it for some reason.
It's worth noting that blaming yourself in the second case is evidence that you take responsibility for your actions, and it's the best way to get rid of negative feelings. If you look closely at the six examples we mentioned, you will find a common denominator. Every time you adopt a positive attitude, you give yourself more importance without underestimating anyone else. At this point, your perspective changes, and those negative feelings disappear.
If you focus on the lessons that you can learn from any negative circumstance you find yourself in, your perspective will automatically become positive, and the result will be that your life will change for the better.
You may develop the personality you've always wanted, and you'll immediately become more positive no matter how horrible the scenario is if you resolve to look for the good in any condition, no matter how bad it is.
In conclusion
The best thing about it is that you don't need to try to change your thoughts because your thinking pattern changes. Focus on the lesson that you must learn from the situation, and you will find that your personality develops.
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