Note: This article is from blogger Marc Chernoff, who shares 3 ways to change your life when you're exhausted.
I was working more than 60 hours a week, struggling with a failing business, and coping with the recent deaths of two loved ones. The stress and pace of life just seemed to keep me busy from sunrise to midnight everyday without much time for self-reflection or mindfulness, and deep down I knew it was not possible for me to continue in this vicious cycle in the long term.
While browsing the search results, I was fascinated by the overwhelming quantity of books, articles and quotes all designed to motivate a person to take positive action and make positive changes, such as those that encourage focusing on the present moment, launching into life, and letting go of the burdens of the past. However, nothing truly clicked with me. I was looking for guidance that was a bit more specific.
Self-reflection
I continued to read and look for a new set of directions I could follow. Then, I suddenly realized that my losses and personal turmoil had me running and hiding from my problems. I was being incredibly busy, but I had never stopped to sort out my thoughts and figure out exactly what I was doing.
My need to provide for my family and ease the pain of failure and loss promoted me to do so. I was using these circumstances as excuses for not sorting out my priorities; thus, I got stuck in a cycle of futile busyness that was burning me out. I recognized that in order to truly move my life forward, I first had to step on the brakes and give myself the time and space to think.
When I did that, I began to think of the summer after my high school graduation. My thoughts time-travelled back to those days when I felt like possibilities awaited me everywhere. I had been accepted to a great university, I was young and ambitious, and I was ready to achieve my dreams. But remembering this didn’t make me feel better. In fact, over a decade later, trying to look at the world through this youthful lens made me feel more restless.
The advice I needed
The world of possibilities seemed to me a lot scarier, maybe it’s the life lessons I was forced to learn the hard way, or a toll of pain and failure. So, I wanted to be passionate and productive again, but I didn’t know how, until my wise mom gave me some good advice. She told me that she could still see the positive, passionate young man inside of me, but that I needed to do some soul searching to reconnect myself to him.
As I attempted to follow my mom’s advice, I remembered that I used to have two quotes written on my bedroom wall when I was kid:
- “Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in you journey.”
- “Don’t be scared to walk alone down the path less travelled, and don’t be scared to love every minute of it.”
So, I wrote the two quotes down again just as I remembered them, and posted them up on the wall of my bedroom again. I woke up to these quotes every morning for several years thereafter, and they helped keep me centred. I also took tiny steps, day in and day out, until I knew I was finally moving down the right path again.
For anybody else who feels burnt out and without a real sense of how to take the next step forward, here are 3 ways to change your life when you’re exhausted. They are simple, actionable lessons that helped me moving forward when I decided it was time for a change. Perhaps they will help you too.
1. Let visual reminders keep you focused and on track
You can post meaningful quotes on your bedroom wall, or find a coffee mug that has a motivational message on it. You can also do more than that.
Good things don’t come easy, and when the things get tough, we often take the easy way out although it was the wrong way. To combat this, I publish tangible reminders around me that give me the powerful to avoid this path. For example, I have my laptop’s desktop background set to a photo of my family, because I love looking at them and because when work gets really rough, these photos remind me of the people I am ultimately working for.
And I’m not the only using this strategy. A friend of mine who has paid off almost 100$ of debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he still wants to pay off. Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 70KG as a reminder of a person she never wants to be again.
Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that ultimately burn you out and take you farther away from what matters most to you. Then use visual reminders to interrupt the impulses and rebuild the momentum and inner passion that keeps you on the right track.
Your ultimate goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the impulsive distractions people fill their lives with. This leaves you with space for what truly matters, namely a life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing and resistance, but instead mindful contemplation, creation and connection with people and endeavours that truly matter.
2. Stop waiting for inspiration
Even with a set of visual reminders and good focus, the routine will sometimes burn you out. Your body may eventually grow weary, you may lie awake some nights listening to your past regrets, and you may miss your passion and see a world around you overcome by negativity. That is a life, and there’s no doubt that it gets hard at times.
However, there is one action for daily healing that works every time: Being passionate with the small task in front of you. That is the only positive effort that a battered mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or doubt, and never dream of regretting.
You don’t have to wait, and you don’t have to search around and find passion somewhere outside yourself. You can simply bring passion into the thing you do today, so that you work it sincerely. That’s easier said than done, so consider these questions:
- When was the last time you picked up the phone, and had a conversation with someone you love, with no distractions and full focus?
- When was the last time you exercised, and put every bit of effort?
- When was the last time you truly tried to do your very best?
Be honest with yourself, if you’re still waiting to find something to be passionate about, what you need to do is the exact opposite. Put your heart and soul into the small task at hand.
I’m certain you have plenty in your life right now that’s worth living for. You have people and lots of small circumstances you’re taking for granted. You have an endless reservoir of untapped potential within you, just waiting. Stop waiting; there is no next opportunity, only the one you have at this moment, so do everything you can to seize it.
3. Give things you can’t control a little more space
“If you want to control your animals, give them a larger pasture.” That’s a quote I heard in a group discussion focused on the power of changing your attitude about the things you can’t change or don’t need to change.
I see the “animals” and their “larger pasture” as a form of letting go and allowing things to be the way they are. Instead of trying to control something, you’re loosening up, giving it more space, and a larger pasture. The animals will be happier; they will roam around and do what they naturally do. And yet your needs will be met too, you will have more space to be at peace with the way the animals are.
This same philosophy holds true for many aspects of life. Allowing certain things to happen means these things will take care of themselves, and your needs will also be met. You will have less stress and less to do, and more time and energy to work on the things that truly matter, the things you actually can control, like your priorities, your self-care, and your attitude about everything.
Conclusion
As you move forward, you want to keep in mind that one of the greatest secrets to peace and happiness is letting most situations be what they are instead of what you think they should be, and then making the best of them.
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