Note: This article is from blogger Mandie Holgate, who shares some ways to help us break free from our self-imposed limitations.
Consider the tale of Icarus, whose famous words resonate: "All limits are self-imposed." Yet, while Icarus embodies theoretical greatness, his attempt to soar too close to the sun with wings of feathers and wax underscores the necessity of acknowledging and respecting certain limits.
In the twenty-first century, a significant challenge lies in discerning between constructive boundaries that ensure our well-being and those that stifle our happiness, success, and even our health. Thus, learning how to dismantle these restrictive barriers becomes paramount to experiencing true freedom.
7 pieces of advice to shatter the limitations you impose upon yourself
1. Observe Your Thoughts
What you think will happen is likely to manifest. Your thoughts profoundly influence your capacity to think effectively, thereby confining yourself to a particular quality of thinking.
I worked with a client who adamantly asserted that nothing could be done to break free from limitations. Little did they know that the first step was to shatter their belief in them. Little did they know that the first step was to dismantle their belief in such limitations. Understand that you don't necessarily need to know how to achieve it; you simply have to accept that a way exists to break free. In a biochemistry study on this matter, researchers delved into the concept that 'man is the product of what he believes'—quoting the Russian writer Anton Chekhov. They uncovered instances illustrating how the thoughts we harbor influence not only our minds and bodies but also our life outcomes. Here's what they concluded:
The receptors on cell membranes exhibit flexibility, which can alter the sensitivity and composition of cells. In other words, even when we feel emotionally stuck, there is a biochemical potential for change and possible growth. When we choose to change our thoughts (by triggering impulses of neurotransmitters), we become open and receptive to other sensory information that our beliefs may have previously obscured! Therefore, when we change our thinking, we change our beliefs, and when we change our beliefs, we change our behavior. So, whether you believe it or not, it's a fact: you can always break free and transcend boundaries.
In Joe Dispenza's book You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, he delves into instances where the power of the mind prevailed over bodily conditions. One compelling story involves Henry Beech, a doctor during World War II who faced a critical shortage of morphine to alleviate soldiers' pain.
In a daring move, Beech administered a harmless saline solution as a placebo treatment. Remarkably, the soldiers experienced reduced pain simply because they believed they had received a genuine painkiller! This vividly illustrates the incredible effectiveness and profound influence of the mind. Have you ever witnessed such a potent and transformative force in action?
Again, you don't have to believe that something is true wholeheartedly. Rather, you just need to be open to the idea.
2. Pay Attention To What You Say
Sheldon, the main character in the American TV series "The Big Bang Theory," once remarked, "I often forget that others have limitations. It's very sad." He's quite astute in this observation. From my own experience, the limitations we place on ourselves, often through negative self-talk, can have the most profound impact.
I recently posed a question on social media about phrases that people despise, and I received over 150 comments within just a few hours. However, when I asked about phrases people love, I found it challenging to gather even eight responses within several days!
The irony is that negative phrases can hinder you from achieving greatness, while positive phrases can empower you to accomplish your goals. Therefore, it's essential to be mindful of what you say.
Like many others, Claire, a highly esteemed team leader, has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. She recognized that she was surrounded by individuals who frequently uttered negative phrases, such as:
- "There's a lot of work, and we should work over the weekend."
- "I'm not good at working alone; I can't do it."
- "This isn't my fault; the technology in other departments isn't good."
- "We have no choice about this."
When you hear one of these restrictive statements, you should ask yourself:
- Is this true?
- Isn't there anything that can be done?
- Have I wondered if there's a better way to handle things?
If there isn't a better way to try to break free from these limitations, there can at least be a better approach to handling them that doesn't impede progress.
Claire's team served as a stellar example of this principle. We scrutinized every assertion the team put forth, challenging its validity.
We discovered that while some individuals believed in the possibility of finding new work methods (via innovative processes and communication), others needed to embrace a new mindset. They clung to the conviction that until the pandemic ended, they would remain trapped in limbo.
3. Embrace A Growth Mindset
To change the phrases that contribute to creating limitations, it's crucial to introspect with greater depth. Sadly, some individuals rigidly adhere to their beliefs, resisting change and even rejecting the idea that alternative ways of living and working exist beyond their current perspective. Conversely, others naturally nurture a growth mindset, welcoming thoughts that facilitate the exploration of new ideas.
If you struggle to imagine freeing yourself from the constraints you've imposed, focus on listening more closely to your inner voice. Embracing a growth mindset empowers individuals to break down limitations and transcend boundaries.
Below are several strategies to cultivate a growth mindset if you currently possess a fixed mindset:
3.1. Look for role models
It's not necessary to emulate those who already possess a growth mindset, but you can look up to those who, like you, are striving to attain the life they desire.
3.2. Reflect on the qualities you admire in these role models
Whether they're enthusiastic to a fault, exceptionally organized, or introverted, take note of what draws you to them.
3.3. Get to know them
Initiating a conversation can be incredibly enlightening, so muster the courage and do it; you'll be amazed by how eager people are to assist.
3.4. Take note of the statements you make
and ask yourself whether they contribute positively or negatively to your success This principle applies universally, as even individuals with a growth mindset might utter words that hinder their ability to attain their goals.
While they may believe they have no limitations, they might perceive their skills as not yet aligning with their evolving mindset. Hence, it's crucial to be mindful of your words, as they significantly influence your reality.
3.5. Dare to challenge and inquire
The strength of questioning is profound; "Da Vinci" himself was a great advocate of it. Yet, don't pressure yourself to provide answers. Rather, focus on exploring your own viewpoint. The greater the number of questions you can pose, the better the quality of your ideas becomes.
3.6. Start in a way that suits you
It's not helpful to advise you to start with a small task if you thrive on being extremely busy, nor would it be productive if I told you to work excessively if that overwhelms you and prevents you from doing anything at all.
3.7. Proceed at a pace that suits you
but regardless, make sure to schedule a work plan in your life: Even personal matters require time to be accomplished. Include in your action plan something like "Exploring the impact of this idea on work quality over the next four weeks." But if you don't document these things, you won't prioritize them.
4. Steer Clear Of Being Negative
We often prioritize negative aspects to safeguard our well-being, a phenomenon called "negative bias." This bias has been a survival mechanism for humans since our inception. The challenge lies in our brains potentially misleading us into accepting their narratives.
As you begin to scrutinize the phrases you employ, keep an eye out for these four keywords:
- I’m Trying
- I'm unable.
- I won't.
- It must.
These words take hold of a large portion of your mind and prevent you from breaking the barriers you impose upon yourself. Humans from all walks of life experience many fears, from billionaires to students, from CEOs to happy and healthy individuals living life to the fullest. But once you begin to identify the words you speak or think, you can change your outcomes.
Replace the phrase "I'm trying" which implies the possibility of eventual failure with a statement like "I'm aiming for" which signifies your aim.
Also, eliminate the phrase "I can't" and consider if someone told you they couldn't do something, do you believe they truly cannot in your opinion, or are they afraid?
The phrase "I won't" is powerful; it can enhance your chances of overcoming limitations and breaking boundaries, or even maintaining those boundaries in place. For instance, "I won't allow anyone to harm my family." It embodies the same mindset as thinking, "I can overcome anything."
Finally, the word "must" implies that everyone and everything else takes precedence over you, which is not true.
Remember that you can't break all the boundaries, but being confined by certain limitations doesn't prevent you from changing your mindset about them. For example, "I must finish this report because the entire company needs it" might drain your energy. Instead, say: "I'm aiming to complete this report because the entire company relies on me."
Do you see how one of the phrases was strong and the other weak?
I trained a client who felt like everyone was controlling his life, and rephrasing his actions and what he previously did made a tremendous difference to the point where he started seeing himself as a superhero instead of a victim.
5. Be Mindful Of The Company You Keep
Liberating yourself from self-imposed constraints isn't a quiet endeavor; they're often bolstered by misconceptions gleaned from online networks or social circles. Thus, breaking free from these limitations requires your careful consideration of the quality of the people you surround yourself with, whether online or in the real world. Surrounding yourself with the right individuals will also aid you in dismantling these constraints.
6. Set A Clear Action Plan
To overcome these limitations and boundaries, develop an action plan and endeavor to execute it with greater confidence and responsibility. Furthermore, consistently monitor your self-beliefs and confidence levels; it's essential to strengthen yourself first before pushing past your limits.
7. Avoid Imposing Self-Limitations
Contrary to many experts, I'm not the biggest fan of personality tests. If you do enjoy them, realize that agreeing to take one may feel confining; you might have natural inclinations and ways of behaving, thinking, and interacting, but this doesn't determine what you can become in the future. Clinging to a specific format, such as saying, "People like me can't become managers," can limit your ability to strengthen your mental faculties and break your boundaries.
One day, a client told me, "It's impossible to earn more money during the COVID-19 pandemic." However, within just five months, he defied his belief by increasing his earnings by 500%. He will probably double his profits once again. This illustrates the power of your mind, so always harness it for your benefit.
In Conclusion
Breaking boundaries and limitations isn’t easy, especially if you're not mentally prepared. Hence, you can start with these seven tips to break the boundaries you unknowingly impose on yourself to achieve your goals and live your life to the fullest.
Remember, if you believe something will happen, it's likely to happen, so choose carefully what you think about.
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