Many people experience this even before social media. Do not misunderstand; comparing oneself to others is perfectly acceptable. However, there are rules. So, this article discusses 7 mistakes to avoid when comparing yourself to others.
Why Do You Compare Yourself to Others?
Before discussing the common mistakes to avoid when comparing yourself to others, let’s answer the question that always comes to your mind: Why do you compare yourself to others? Do others compare themselves to you as well?
Humans are social beings and are always accustomed to comparing their lives with those of others. The first murder in recorded human history was motivated by this comparison. Our continual exposure to social media, the things people around us seem to be enjoying that we do not, the extravagant celebrities' lifestyles, and their notable accomplishments in business and finance all have a detrimental effect on us and cause us to question everything in our lives. There are two types of comparison that we will discuss in detail.
1. Positive Comparison
Positive comparison means comparing ourselves to those who are actually superior to us and trying to think of them as inspiration and motivation sources for self-improvement. Comparisons are not always negative and can motivate us towards more creativity and excellence.
For example, hearing about someone in your field of study who has achieved high grades that allowed them to enter graduate studies or a doctorate can motivate you to achieve the same, especially if you have a similar IQ and social standing.
2. Negative Comparison
Negative comparison, on the other hand, makes people feel sorry for themselves and incites envy. Allowing this comparison to destroy your happiness and self-satisfaction is a huge common mistake.
Comparing yourself to others in this way undermines your sense of value and fails to consider your unique challenges. Furthermore, you draw unfair comparisons between the worst parts of your life and the best parts of others.
7 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a battle in which you are the only loser. Every day, there are thousands of people around you to compare yourself with, and there are always things you wish for that others have already achieved. Everyone in this life has their own limited and unique abilities. Here are 7 common mistakes to avoid when comparing yourself to others:
1. Over-Comparing
First, let us advise you against over-comparing, which will only make you unhappy, depressed, and unsatisfied. One common mistake when comparing yourself to others is overdoing it to the point where it causes you to feel anger, jealousy, and frustration, as well as feelings of hopelessness about yourself because you feel that "you're not good enough." This can lead to depression and excessive anxiety. Such comparisons can result in unhealthy behavior; some people use other people's flaws and shortcomings as a way to feel better about themselves, which regrettably causes them to find happiness in other people's suffering.
2. Not Avoiding Your Triggers
Ignoring your triggers is one of the most common mistakes when comparing yourself to others. You can list the events and situations that have influenced your self-evaluation and caused you to compare yourself to people around you.
For example, being part of a group of friends who prioritize material possessions and buying expensive items from luxury places that do not align with your lifestyle can cause you to overthink and experience constant frustration.
3. Spending Too Much Time on Social Media
One of the biggest mistakes when comparing yourself to others is to become so consumed with chasing after others' lives on social media that you forget about your own life and stop focusing on how you can improve it to become better than theirs. Therefore, consider scrolling positive thinking pages that increase your social awareness instead of the time you spend following all of the accounts of people you feel that you have become so obsessed with living their lives and comparing yourself to them that you stop living your own.
Also, you can temporarily deactivate your accounts to reflect on your life, look closely at things, and appreciate the blessings that God has bestowed upon you. This will improve your self-image and help you develop your life free from bad news' detrimental effects.
4. Forgetting the Bigger Picture
You often find yourself comparing your negative aspects to the positive aspects of your friends' lives, but forgetting the bigger picture and not knowing what happens behind the scenes—how this person actually lives their life—is one of the biggest common mistakes when comparing yourself to others.
It's clear that each person has their struggles and victories; this does not necessarily mean that their life is perfect. You are not in their place; perhaps they see you as the perfect person as well. Therefore, constantly remind yourself that you are not alone and that the person in front of you leads a life you can only imagine being fulfilled by what you lack.
5. Lack of Gratitude
Not expressing gratitude is one of the biggest reasons for negative feelings creeping in and one of the most common mistakes when comparing yourself to others. When you turn your back on the blessings in your life, you lose the ability to appreciate them. You won't experience these bad feelings when your gratitude for everything strengthens you. God has bestowed upon you many uncountable blessings, so make it a daily habit to count your blessings, including your health, your children, your knowledge, and more.
6. Undervaluing Yourself
Overly modesty is a last resort for those who think it's the secret to success. Being humble is acceptable if you don't go too far and undervalue your accomplishments and yourself. This is one of the biggest common mistakes when comparing yourself to others.
Psychologists believe that excessive humility is similar to overconfidence; both can lead to a constant feeling of defeat and that you are not like those around you. Therefore, our advice is to start programming yourself for positive self-talk filled with self-confidence and always value yourself because if you don't, no one else will.
7. Choosing the Wrong People
We choose to be friends with people who inspire us, guide us toward success, and collaborate with us to accomplish shared goals. However, surrounding yourself with the wrong people all the time can keep you tense and cause you to start comparing yourself to them. This is one of the common mistakes when comparing yourself to others.
Therefore, choose someone who encourages you and compare yourself to them. Look for someone who makes you feel more confident and inspires you to follow through on your goals. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small; this will cheer you up and help you realize how important your accomplishments are.
Tips to Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
Always remember that you are not alone in this; everyone has strengths, weaknesses, and aspects they would rather keep private. It is natural to compare yourself to others and feel fears from time to time, but here are some tips to help you avoid comparing yourself to others:
1. Document Your Achievements
It can be challenging to remember your accomplishments when you're feeling helpless and unsuccessful, and your mind is racing with negative ideas. Writing down your accomplishments can help you get through these tough times. Make it a daily habit, regardless of whether your achievement is big or small.
2. Compare Yourself Only to Yourself
You should only compare yourself to your former self, not anybody else. For example, look at what you've achieved over the past month and the challenges you have overcome. Acknowledge your personal development and growth, and be proud of your achievements.
3. Avoid Social Media
Studies have shown that people who took a break from Facebook and Instagram experienced improvements in their lives and reported higher levels of overall life satisfaction.
4. Control Yourself
Comparison is not always bad unless it becomes an obsession that prevents you from leading your life. Therefore, take charge of your life and accept who you are because you only have one life to live.
In Conclusion
After learning about the 7 mistakes to avoid when comparing yourself to others, program yourself to replace those thoughts that tell you that person has something you do not. Remember, you will not live twice.
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