How to Rebuild Your Self-confidence?

Note: This article is adapted from Blogger and executive leadership consultant Noah St. John talks about how to restore your self-confidence.

In  2007, after spending more than $250,000 on the two experts and taking bad advice, I lost $40,000 in credit card debt and then returned to zero.

I felt like a failure, and I was angry and upset, but worst of all, I lost my confidence and didn't know how to bring it back, but today I'm running a consulting and coaching company from home and providing coaching services to clients worldwide.

After interviewing more than 200 of the world's most successful people, I realized that one of the critical differences between a successful person and the average person is not money, IQ, luck, or education. It's simply believing you can reach your goals and achieve your dreams.

So, how to believe in yourself again after a significant setback?

5 tips to boost your self-confidence:

1. Determine when failure is your fault and when it is not:

Millions of people, through no fault of their own, have lost their livelihoods, status, and self-confidence through the current global pandemic, and very few people have expected it.

However, because of the pandemic, entrepreneurs face an enormous challenge to keep their business moving forward, and you may not only feel fear for your health and safety. You also feel anxious about your work and relationships, but the truth is that the world's most successful people have failed more times than most people try.

The hard truth is that sometimes failure is your fault, or sometimes it isn't, so learn how to spot the difference between them and move on.

2. Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them:

When you make a mistake, especially one that costs you your time or money, the hardest part is often not the mistake itself but the admission of doing it. For example, when I paid all this money to these experts, only to discover too late that they could not teach me a way out of the simplest predicament, I blamed myself for a long time. Forgiving ourselves and others who have been shot at us or made us wrong takes courage.

You can keep blaming yourself, but it won't change anything, so remember that many entrepreneurs like Mark Cuban, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Elon Musk make mistakes, and the best thing we can do is learn from them.

So, set a list of what you learned from your previous experiences. For example, I realized that I paid all these experts after I looked at their social media profiles that showcase their significant experiences. The irony is that I don't care about these things anyway, but I let envy hinder me from making a rational decision.

After understanding the reasons that led to the mistake, I realized that when evaluating the coach or mentor in the future, the most critical element is not the apparent things but whether they have helped others achieve their goals. That is why in my work, I realized that it is better to boast about the successes of my clients rather than my successes.

3. Focus on your new realistic goal:

Knowing what you want can help you understand what you're trying to live up to and what you constantly need to work on and do. When you reach a deeper understanding of yourself, your goals, your dreams, and your values, you can trust yourself more and make good decisions for your progress.

Sometimes we fail because we are after something we do not want. So, be sure that you are pursuing the goals you desire. As Stephen Covey says, “Don't climb the ladder of success only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall.”

4. Celebrate small wins:

One habit that negatively affects your self-esteem is linking happiness to achieving a big goal. This is a trap that your mind traps you in because once you reach the aim you want, it means you have to fulfill the next target.

So, stop waiting to feel good and reward yourself when you complete small tasks or goals. For example, after finishing this article, I will reward myself with a king and comfortable nap. We can celebrate small gains because it allows us to appreciate our work.

5. Find a suitable mentor:

A mentor believes in you when you don't believe in yourself. A proper mentor helps you make an action plan, find the right tools to do the tasks and give you the support you need to reach your goals.

So, find someone with the knowledge and experience in the areas you want to make changes. Some people argue that you should only have one coach or mentor, which is true in some cases. However, even the most famous athletes worldwide have multiple coaches for different disciplines. For example, they may have fitness, nutrition, and resilience coaches. Finding the right mentor may help redirect your perspective and guide you to believe in yourself again.