People may forget themselves and their personal needs because they are constantly striving to gain the approval of others and their acceptance, love, appreciation, and respect, even if they are forced to change their personalities to do so.
The following question arises: How can communication with oneself be revived?
Lack of contact with oneself leads to the individual suffering from frustration and psychological tension. People's happiness is not determined by the things they own or the satisfaction and acceptance they get from others. Rather, it is their lifestyle, the personal progress they make, and the qualities that make up their human identity. People’s beings are the only constant in their lives, and no one on earth can take it away from them. Loving oneself is necessary to live a satisfactory life.
Connection with oneself is a prerequisite for achieving success and satisfaction in all areas of life. Some indicators indicate the individual’s need to revive communication with themselves, such as dissatisfaction with life and work, suffering in personal relationships, and exposure to depression or anxiety. Therefore, these symptoms can be considered a warning of the necessity of reviving communication with oneself to improve the quality of life and put things into perspective.
6 Steps to revive the connection with oneself
1. Discovering the existential message
Do not accept less than you deserve, and do not settle for living a life that does not allow you to invest in your potential, abilities and talents. Self-communication allows you to discover your talents, skills, and motivations, which increases your ability to provide support and assistance and positively impact the world around you.
It is time to determine your motivations, the purpose of your existence in the universe, and the goal that makes you feel that you are fulfilling your role and mission in life to the fullest.
The following questions will help you discover your underlying motivations and goals and rekindle a connection with yourself:
- When am I happiest?
- What work increases my sense of self?
- How do I communicate with myself when I'm alone?
Discovering the existential message can be challenging. This is because beliefs restrict individuals' potential, prevent them from achieving success, and trap them in patterns doomed to failure.
Most individuals seek to achieve the goals dictated to them by society or family members and to achieve the stereotypical image of happiness that does not express their desires in the first place. The individual aspires to obtain more money, power, and status without linking their work and life struggle to lofty goals that express their existential mission, which causes his failure.
2. Identifying and meeting personal needs
The individual's existential mission is linked to basic human needs, which include certainty, meaning, diversity, love, connection, progress, and contribution. All individuals share these needs, but one dominant need overwhelms the rest and distinguishes one individual from another. This dominant need controls the individual's decisions and behaviors and is responsible for their feeling of satisfaction. A person achieves satisfaction and contentment in life when they meet the basic need that distinguishes them from others.
Some yearn to contribute to improving the world around them and serving lofty goals in life. Their existential mission requires participating in volunteer work, serving others, and doing good. Others seek meaning or connection; in this case, they can focus on their family and friends to achieve the purpose of their existence in this life.
Identifying basic human needs constitutes the first step to reconnecting with oneself, so you must get rid of the restrictive beliefs that degrade your dreams and ambitions and try to convince you that you do not deserve to meet your needs, so stop giving priority to others at the expense of your personal needs and ambitions.
You must allocate some time to take care of yourself, work to meet your needs as soon as you identify them, and be quick to ask others for help to meet your needs. A person can provide more support and assistance and contribute to the service of others when they are satisfied with themselves and the progress he has achieved on a personal level.
3. Discovering the true identity
The human voice is a means of communication, expressing ideas, opinions, and entertainment. Still, Edwin Coppard, the famous international voice coach, explains that communication with oneself occurs through the human voice. Coppard confirms that the individual’s voice in childhood is pure, natural, loud, and strong, expressing their owner's goals, needs, and everything that comes to their mind with complete freedom and transparency. Then the young child grows up and begins to understand their surroundings and realizes that they are part of a large society, and gets used to suppressing their natural voice in compliance with the prevailing mentality in his society.
People comply with the laws of the group to which they belong, suppress their personal identity and the voice that distinguishes them from others, and speak in the language of their community. The individual’s voice no longer expresses itself. Rather, they begin to consider the ideals and beliefs of their society.
Cobbard explains that singing and chanting liberate a person from societal restrictions, help them revive contact with themselves, and regain the true and pure voice that allows them to express themselves freely and spontaneously. Singing, learning to play, or composing music can help one regain the spontaneity and boldness of childhood and rekindle the connection with oneself.
4. Physical contact with oneself
Dancing is one of the most prominent methods of expressing the human soul, and it helps the individual revive contact with themselves.
Dancer Gabrielle Roth created the “5 Rhythms” dance in the late 1970s. It is considered a dance and a movement meditation exercise at the same time. Roth emphasized that physical movement liberates the heart and mind and allows individuals to communicate with themselves and to access a source of inspiration, creativity, and potential, which helps them achieve themselves.
The five rhythms include flow, confusion, chaos, chanting, and stillness. These experimental, non-vocal rhythms describe psychological and emotional states and reveal human beings. Individuals interpret rhythms in their own way and express themselves. Rhythms aim to help the individual move in a conscious, creative, and innovative way. They allow them to discover their innate being and enhance communication between the mind and body.
5. Journaling
Writing plays a prominent role in reviving self-communication because writing down the feelings that accompany life events and experiences helps to discover and accept emotions. On the other hand, you can know your personal opinions by writing down the thoughts that come to you regarding daily events and experiences.
Writing down ideas helps develop them and utilize them to achieve progress and development. Some people use writing as a way to discover their secrets. As author Flannery O’Connor says, “I write to discover myself.”
The journaling technique is used in treatments to relieve anxiety, improve memory, change thoughts and mindset, focus on positive aspects, and help achieve goals.
Getting used to writing a diary requires some commitment. For this reason, it is recommended to allocate some time to writing, let it be 5 minutes a day. You can start by documenting daily events and the impact they leave on yourself, writing down the experiences that you feel grateful for, and other details that stimulate self-reflection and help revive communication with oneself.
6. Ask the right questions
The quality of an individual's life depends mainly on the nature of the questions they ask and frustrating questions such as: Why do bad things always happen to me? It prompts the subconscious mind to search for answers or compose them in some cases. The subconscious mind invents an answer compatible with the question asked, and the answer to the previous question may be “Because you lack the required skills” or “Because you are not smart enough.” This means that the mind searches for negative answers to negative questions.
Negative self-dialogue prevents you from renewing contact with yourself. For this reason, it is recommended to ask positive, encouraging questions such as: How can I benefit from the experience to appreciate myself more?
The brain begins searching for positive answers that suit this question, help improve one's mood, and revive one's connection with oneself.
The individual should change the type of questions they ask themselves for their life to improve. Questions control the topics the mind focuses on and determine the individual’s thoughts and emotions. Therefore, you must ask questions that help you reveal your true self and highlight it in your daily life.
Here are 7 positive questions a person should ask himself:
- What is the source of happiness in my life currently?
- What is the source of enthusiasm in my current life?
- What are you most proud of right now?
- What is the source of my gratitude?
- What do I enjoy most in my life right now?
- What are my current obligations?
- Who are my loved ones?
You must get used to asking positive questions daily to achieve emotional states that help you revive contact with yourself and live a happy life.
Regular application of these questions helps you create the mental and psychological conditions that qualify you to achieve happiness, enthusiasm, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment, and love, which are the elements that constitute your being and your true self.
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