Note: This article is based on an article by CEO Sara Schairer, in which she tells us about her experience in discovering the importance of empathy at work.
We asked them before the training to share their current challenges, and this is what we heard:
- I'm worried about the team burning out."
- “I feel like there are so many problems that I can't handle myself.”
- “Working from home is so frustrating.”
- “Employees are tired and worried about what the future holds.”
- “The team does not feel connected.”
- “There is no glimmer of hope; is that all?"
Does any of the above remind you of yourself? Work is already stressful for most of us, and the uncertainties of the global pandemic are making work and life even more challenging.
This is why it is more important than ever to create a culture of self-compassion in the workplace. Plenty of research indicates that self-compassion supports mental wellness. By fostering an environment where employees feel supported and heard, you can reduce burnout and promote employee engagement.
What does not apply to self-compassion?
Asking your overwhelmed team members to take care of themselves has nothing to do with self-compassion. An important component of self-compassion is recognizing when you need support. To encourage your team members to practice self-compassion, you must not only set an example; rather, you must accept their weakness and welcome it. Your teammates should be able to ask for support without feeling shame or guilt.
Here are some instructions on how to do this:
1. Provide a supportive work environment
1.1. Ask questions
Get to know your team members by asking questions, discover the joys, sorrows, and emotions of each one, investigate by asking about their true condition in the moment, and offer your sympathy when they are suffering.
An example of what to say:
“Hey Betsy, let's schedule a virtual lunch or coffee together. The intention of our meeting will be very simple: let's get to know each other better as human beings, not just workers.”
When you meet, you can ask questions like:
- "What is your favorite thing to do outside of work?"
- "Tell me about your children; what are they like?"
- "What would you like to learn?"
- "Is there anything I don't know about you that you wish I knew?"
1.2. Set the rules
Creating some basic guidelines can help your team work together smoothly and effectively.
Examples of rules include:
- We don't talk behind each other's backs on this team.
- We value everyone's time when starting and finishing meetings on time.
- We listen without interrupting.
1.3. Blend into the team
Offer a hand when your team members are feeling tired from the many tasks. Sometimes they may not ask for support, but you can probably sense when someone might need help.
An example of what to say:
"I have some extra time and would like to help you with some of your errands; please tell me how I can support you."
1.4. Remember the common humanity
Help team members recognize the common humanity; this means that they are not alone and that others also feel stress, anxiety, disappointment, and frustration.
An example of what to say:
"Team, you may be feeling the pressure of too many tasks and anxiety right now; I hope you know that you are not alone. Although I don't always show it, I have a lot of fears on my mind too. Stress affects everyone and makes us normal human beings."
To foster common humanity, try starting meetings with short get-togethers. For example, you could say, "Type in the chat box how you feel on a scale of 1 to 10." Most of them will probably feel comfortable knowing they're not alone.
2. Encourage your teammates to set boundaries
2.1. Take a break
Invite your teammates to set timers that remind them to pause, disconnect from technology, take deep breaths, stand up, stretch, and walk around every 30 minutes or every hour.
An example of what to say:
"I don't know about all of you, but my back and brain can't handle the long screen time, so I'm going to try to get up from my seat and move around every hour. Does anyone want to join me?"
2.2. Set priorities
If you ask a tired teammate to do something, encourage him or her to prioritize.
An example of what to say:
“Shammond, I have another project for you; I know your workload is at its limit, so let's set up a brief meeting to see what needs to be prioritized and what can be put on hold.”
2.3. Accept the apology
Make sure your team members feel comfortable saying, "I can't add anything else to my schedule; please help me set priorities so that the essential tasks can be accomplished."
An example of what to say:
"Team, I know sometimes I give you a job when your schedules are already full, so feel free to let me know when work gets in the way of your life, and I'll do my best to help."
Of course, workloads and deadlines sometimes require sacrifices, yet an empathetic workplace doesn't often ask team members to give up their personal time to work.
3. Convey the idea to others by showing it to them
3.1. Show your vulnerability
Be a model of weakness by sharing your suffering and showing your mistakes. You don't have to tell your team everything you're going through, but it's nice for them to see that you're human.
An example of what to say:
"I've got an assignment to make a big presentation for the board tomorrow, and I'm nervous about it. Sometimes they ask me questions that surprise me, so wish me luck."
For more on vulnerability and leadership, I recommend Brené Brown's book, Dare to Lead.
3.2. Take a vacation
Take personal and health breaks when you need them, and encourage others to do the same. If you don't take any days off, you'll have a hard time convincing others to take a break. Plus, you'll almost certainly burn out functionally.
If it looks like a lot of work is going to pile up during your vacation, you and your team members may not want to take time off. It may not seem worth it, but you can avoid this problem if you and your team come up with a work rotation system.
3.3. Calm the inner critic
When you make a mistake, don't blame yourself for it. Instead, learn from it and move forward. Remember that you are human, encourage yourself to do better, and if you are an overachiever, you may think, “My inner critic helped me get this far; why stop now?”
Research suggests that you won't lose your edge if you have self-compassion. rather, you will continue to thrive, be resilient, and navigate life's ups and downs more easily. Positive self-talk supports your efforts to be an empathetic leader, and it is much easier to give your support and encouragement to others when you give yourself the same support.
3.4. Appreciate your values
What matters to you most of all? Make sure you respect your values and make decisions in line with them, and if you show that to your team members, you're giving them permission to do the same.
You may have to set limits on your time so that you are not constantly working. If you care about socializing with family members and friends, you will have to protect that quality time. Perhaps you need time for personal development and learning. Or if you value your physical health, do you make decisions at work that allow you to have enough rest and exercise?
At work, you may value creativity and innovation, but your current project or role is not using the part of your brain that is responsible for creativity. What could you change to be more in line with your values?
If work is holding you back from what you value, you will have a hard time staying engaged. The same goes for your team members.
In conclusion
By creating a supportive work environment, encouraging team members to set boundaries, “doing the word,” and demonstrating these self-compassionate actions yourself, you set the stage for your team to succeed.
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