The internet itself is also a hotbed of deception. Ads pop up on screens on social media and websites, offering us deals that seem too good to be true.
We live in an age of deception. When others let us down a lot, we take it for granted, just as companies promise that their products will change our lives, but it does nothing. For example, the burger offered by fast food shops does not look like the picture on the menu.
No wonder people don't give their trust as easily as they used to. According to a 2019 report that has been measuring people's trust since the 1950s, only 17% of Americans today say they can trust elected officials. 3% of them trust that the bosses always do the right thing, while 14% of them trust that the bosses do the right thing most of the time.
Comparing this to when the study began in 1958, 75% of Americans at the time said they trusted the federal government to do the right thing always or most of the time.
Our trust in everything from doctors and retailers to pharmaceutical companies has declined. This negatively affects our health and safety. You cannot see, touch, or taste trust, but you can certainly feel its presence or absence.
A sense of trust weaves society, and suspicion and betrayal unravel it. We approach trusted friends and distance ourselves from people we think are untrustworthy. We also rely on our sense of trust to identify reliable, honest, and frank people who we can count on without having to constantly question their motives or investigate every phrase they say.
Trust makes life easy and makes us bearable, but what happens when we lose the bonds of trust? Research indicates that this is both annoying and destructive.
Trust begins at birth
Why do we have such strong feelings about trust? “Trust is part of who we are as human beings, and it has been from the start,” says author and psychologist Dr. Peter Breggin. “What makes humans special is trust, empathy, and cooperation,” he adds.
In research recently published in the American Psychological Association Journal, Breggin showed that our need for trust begins at birth, unlike animals that can face the world soon after they emerge from their mother's wombs. Humans are born very weak and helpless; we need years of care before we can act on our own.
"There is an inherent intimacy and dependency in humans," Breggin says.
The experience of trust with parents creates a pattern that plays a major role later in life. We are raised to trust others, including people in positions of power, such as politicians, and this is dangerous.
Because we value trust so highly, deception can be devastating to us, Breggin says.
Trust is so essential to our mental health that Dr. Breggin believes that betrayal may be a cause of mental illness. If you ask anyone who has been lied to or wronged by someone they trust deeply, they will tell you that the experience will make you depressed and anxious, and you will begin to question reality and doubt yourself. Schizophrenia may be a symptom as well as an overt manifestation of paranoia.
"Whether it's bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, what really happens if you talk to someone who is hallucinating or lying in bed all day is that they feel like they can't trust anything in the world, that they're not loved at all."
Antipsychotic drugs are the usual treatment for severe cases, but Breggin believes the drugs stand in the way of his main goal of building trust. He begins his treatment with a promise that most of his patients have never heard of. He asks them to tell him anything they want, and he will never drug them or force them into the hospital against their will.
"I don't work miracles, but often in the middle of a discussion, I say, 'You know, you stopped hallucinating; you stopped feeling afraid,'" says Breggin. "This is the first time I've felt so relaxed in a month." And I'll say, 'It's because you trust me; we're having an honest discussion, and if we're able to maintain this relationship, it's going to grow and get better.'
Overconfidence
Because of the pain that results when your trust is violated, one bad experience may lead you to distrust everyone as a self-preservation response. But Breggin warns that living without trust does not make you an objective person. It makes you feel suspicious and afraid.
We are naturally trusting, but because we live in a deceitful world, we must be careful not to give our blind trust to anyone who is opportunistic.
Lynell Ross, director of an e-learning company, explains that she learned this lesson hard. A few years ago, Ross was helping her sister through a difficult period in her life, but she found that helping her led to more stress.
"My sister got mad at me, but she wasn't honest about explaining why. I kept helping her, cleaning her house, selling stuff, and looking for a little house to live in, and later, I found out she wanted to move in with me and my husband, but she never asked us directly."
It was so distressing that she ended up in the emergency room thinking she was having a heart attack, which is a common experience for people who have had a panic attack. The cardiologist did not find any health problems. So Ross tried to control her feelings, saying, "I was trusting her a lot, and I need to learn a lesson to stop supporting her and let her deal with the consequences of her behavior."
For Ross, her sister's actions represent a form of manipulation and exploitation. Playing the victim and using guilt to gain attention are actions that can erode trust between two people. The person doing the exploitation may not be aware of what they are doing, but even this kind of deception can destroy the relationship.
Circumstances change
We want to trust others, and we desire communication that helps us build trust, but since trust is a sensitive issue, we may feel betrayed even when the other party is not harming us.
Alex Montagu, a New York attorney and certified meditation teacher, points out that this sense of confusion can cause us to rush to label others as untrustworthy.
“As a lawyer, I have seen quite a few partnership disputes,” says Montagu, “where the partners trust each other for the first time and think it's trustworthy, and then all of a sudden it happens because of changed circumstances or because of misplaced expectations as to the outcome, skill, or performance.”
Montagu's advice to avoid disappointment in both personal and professional matters is that the terms should be made clear in advance. Clear communication can help us avoid assumptions and expectations that can make someone feel deceived.
The collapse of public trust
Communication and clarity help build trust, while secrecy and deceit break it down. But when the details aren't clear, we rely on experience and instinct to guide us to people we can trust.
Unfortunately, this sense is limited by our ability to read signs, and some people are very good at faking them. A warm smile and a pretty face can win our hearts and trust. Such methods can mislead our gut feelings that detect lies and deceit.
Political figures try to take advantage of this, and advertisements are designed to attract public confidence by making impressive promises while masking flaws that would give us a clearer picture.
Blaming others and fear can also be used to distract us from the bigger picture and think things through. We should know better, but more often than not, we don't.
We are conditioned to trust political figures more than we realize. As Bregen asserts, it is a well-established fact in psychology that we give others power, just as we gave our parents and caregivers when we were young. It is a process that arises with us from the stage of our early dependence on others, so we must consciously realize that others are not like our parents.”
While we teach our children to be wary of strangers, we ourselves may fall into this trap without realizing it. When we lose feelings of trust towards authority figures, it is important but difficult to regain.
The past year has destroyed our faith in the authorities more than we have seen in decades. The Edelman Trust Barometer 2021 reveals that the Corona pandemic and the economic crisis that accompanied it, in addition to the global protest against racism and the political instability, have all led to the spread of misinformation and widespread mistrust of institutions and leaders around the world.
The media that played a role in the loss of trust, in addition to their endless negative bias, also took a major hit in trust, and over the past century, our reliance on mainstream media as a reliable source of reliable information has become powerful and comfortable.
But Edelman's report shows that this relationship is breaking down, as it was found that 56% of Americans agree with the statement that "journalists and reporters try to intentionally mislead people by saying things they know are false or exaggerated," and that 58% believe that most News agencies are more interested in supporting a political principle or position than in enlightening the public."
When the Edelman Scale re-polled Americans after the 2020 election, it was noted that the numbers had deteriorated further.
This loss of trust comes with dire consequences. Just think of what it's like to live in a world where you don't trust the people and institutions that have power over important aspects of your life. For this reason, it's no wonder that depression and anxiety have skyrocketed in recent years.
Since trust has such a profound effect on our health and well-being, Pregin's advice is that we give a little bit of our trust to an expert or person in authority and more of it to people close to us. Strong relationships based on trust with the people we interact with can give us a deeper sense of security in an unstable world.
"One of the things we can do is remind ourselves that we believe in God and His love for us, and we can see that love in our lives," Breggin says. "Another helpful way is to maintain personal relationships based on trust and love."
It can be comforting to have someone you can count on, but Breggin warns us to be wary of people we trust. This is because this bond is sacred and intimate.
This does not mean that we should feel fear and doubt; rather, we must be aware of the authorities, institutions, and people we trust. Trust is often innate, but it must also be earned and verified.
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