How to Make Friends and Build Relationships With Others?

Note: This article is by Professor M.S. Rao, who talks about how to make friends and build relationships with others.

Generally speaking, people who talk a lot write less often, and people who talk less write more often, while people who talk a lot do not listen much. People who talk less listen more.

Of course, we can't judge people based on outward appearance. So, we will discuss ways to start conversations and build friendships and relationships with others.

When you meet someone, smile, introduce yourself, give your hand, and say “hello,” and identify a certain positive trait in the person and praise it. Through this behavior, you will gain the person's trust, then discover their interests and passions and start a conversation. If you know about the areas they are talking about, and if you do not have any knowledge in these areas, express your enthusiasm to learn from them, but if the other person is not ready to start a conversation, respect their will and leave them calmly with a smile on your face.

Tips for making friends

When you want to grow in your life, you will need to ask a favor, so if you want to ask a favor from others, you must create a conversation to build a relationship.

Understanding people's psychology and appreciating their behavior will help you connect with them immediately.

Here are some tips to start the conversation and make friends:

• Be passionate in your conversation with others.
• Watch the person's body language; if you find it positive, smile and go to the person to start a conversation.
• Leave a positive impression and positive feelings.
• Praise people and avoid using negative words and traits. Instead, use positive words and good qualities to influence others. As writer Mark Twain says, "You can tell a person's personality from the adjectives they usually use in conversation."
• Have a short conversation, listen, and speak from your heart.
• Find things in common to continue your conversation.
• Avoid asking personal questions about marital status and salary, and do not go beyond your limits and respect personal boundaries.
• Avoid asking specific questions, such as questions that include a one-word answer, and instead ask open-ended questions to get the other party to go further.
• Ask general, neutral questions, and don't ask too many probing questions that sound like you are interrogating the other person.
• Encourage them to talk about themselves. Author Dale Carnegie said, “Speak to someone about themselves, and they will listen to you for hours.”
• Do not provide unsolicited advice. Rather, you must build your credibility before you offer your advice to others.
• Choose neutral topics that suit people regardless of society, and avoid religious and political aspects to avoid disagreements.
• Consider cultural aspects when talking to strangers to avoid being misunderstood.
• Use your intelligence to end a conversation that could lead to an argument.
• If you are humorous, use this adjective to make that person laugh, but don’t tell a joke that may have a negative effect.
• Adhere to manners and etiquette to make a good impression on others. The quality of your conversation is more important than its length.

When you talk to people, you learn something new from them and can share your experience and expertise with them. When you talk a lot, you listen less. When you talk less, you listen more. Encourage the person to talk so that you can listen.

Instead of seeking approval from others, identify positive traits in them, praise them, and endorse what they say to enhance your influence. As the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “One conversation with a wise man is better than reading a book for ten years.”

Life experience

I am not a social person and seldom mix with others because my passion for writing books takes a lot of time, and sometimes, I find it difficult to talk to women. When I analyzed the reasons, I realized that it was because of my military background. I served in the Indian Air Force, so I dealt with men all the time, and I still feel ashamed to interact with women, and most of the time, I'm afraid of being misunderstood.

So, if you fail to communicate with a stranger, don't lose hope and try to talk to another stranger. Some people don't talk to others because of their personality, nature, and mood.

I am not a tech expert, but I keep abreast of developments. When I find guys in the gym and other places, I talk to them about technology developments; I ask for their advice to communicate with them. This way, I am informed of technology developments and give importance to the person.

I think that millennials are often wrongly accused of being lazy, but the truth is that they are undoubtedly smart, brilliant, and innovative. The fear of failure, rejection, and criticism are the main reasons people don't talk to others so often. Life is an experience, and you must learn through the experiences.

There is nothing wrong with experimenting to live an exciting life. If you succeed, you will either influence others or learn a lesson. So, feel free to talk to strangers, but consider the cultural aspects when talking to others.

Technology cannot replace human relations

People are preoccupied with technology rather than interacting with others. There is less social interaction and more interaction on social media, and perhaps millennials today and people in the future will find it difficult to get along with each other. Friendship will become a rare commodity in the future because people treat technology as their friend.

It's time to change their mindset by favoring human relationships over digital ones. It's time to focus on social interaction and create meaningful conversations to build relationships with others.

Conversation is an art that can be learned easily. It is not a talent but a skill that can be honed if you are passionate about communicating with others and building relationships with them. So, grow your ability to connect with others to influence and inspire improvement.