Note: This article is taken from the blog of Angel Chernoff, in which she tells us about her experience with things that we must let go of after they have burdened us for a long time.
“What you cling to sticks to you,” says the American novelist Tom Robbins.
True story
When she was in her twenties, she searched for a long time for the right shoe and tried dozens of shoes before finally settling on the perfect sandal, the shoe that would accompany her for the next three and a half decades.
She hoped she might wear them again for some anniversary or special date, but years have passed since these shoes no longer fit, and besides, she and her husband have been separated for a long time.
The day before the garbage collection day, she put the shoes in the trash, knowing it was time to give them away. It was a heavy burden, and she said: "I looked at the shoes thrown in the trash, the sight of them provoked me and reminded me of my wedding day. So, I put them deep in the trash can. I panicked momentarily, but I took a deep breath and moved on."
The following day, she found herself beside the trash can, rummaging through eggshells, coffee grounds, and dirty paper plates before finding it at the bottom.
The burdens we carry
Have you ever felt the weight of your belongings on your chest, shoulders, or lower back? When I feel that I have a lot of things, I feel their weight on my chest, right above my heart. I can't breathe deeply or move freely, but I know very well that when I get rid of one of those things, I lessen the burden.
With every bit of clutter I let go of, whether it's a stack of papers I no longer need or a nine-piece set of kitchen utensils I never used, I can breathe more deeply, move more freely, and rise higher.
It's almost like magic. No doubt that our possessions have weight, but they are not the only things we cling to that have been out of use for a long time, so what other weights do they carry?
Seven Things We Hold On To That We Must Let Go Of
1. Relationships
Do you have a relationship in your life that makes you feel weak and drained? This relationship may be with a colleague, manager, friend or family member, but what makes you view this relationship as a burden on your chest is what you feel after each time you communicate with this person. So, pay attention to this.
2. Anxiety
How much mental and emotional energy have you wasted worrying about something beyond your control? Surprisingly, anxiety follows us like an old friend. We allow our brains to track the same paths repeatedly to the point where we think worry helps and that it's a way to show love.
But wouldn't it be better for us to ask ourselves what we could do to improve the situation? This gives us the option to do something instead of just worrying. If we can't find something we can really do - if the situation is 100% beyond our capabilities - what's the point of holding on to worrying?
“Worrying is like a rocking chair that gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere,” said the American novelist Erma Bombeck.
3. Social media
Does following a celebrity on social media make you feel like what you have or who you are is not enough? Celebrities like these may own entire platforms, and you may have noticed that you get frustrated with yourself every time you open an app.
4. Habits
What habit are you dying to break but are unsure you can do it? It may be the amount of sugar you eat after dinner or a few hours of sleep at night that needs to be more. It could be the tone of your voice when you're tired or the amount of time you spend looking at a screen in your hand rather than at the faces around you.
5. Ideas
Do you have any thoughts that always come to your mind and bind you? Are the following phrases familiar to you?
- "No one appreciates me."
- "I do everything here."
- "I wasn't made for that."
- This is only an emotional mess.
6. The past
Memories can bring us much joy, but they can also cause us a lot of pain, especially if we refuse to get rid of the wounds of the past, whether they were inflicted on us by others or by ourselves. Forgiveness is strength.
7. Chaos
From paper to furniture, from digital files to expired stored goods, many of us have been holding on to them for far too long. Practice letting go of these things with the help of visualization. To help you let go of these things, can you imagine - in as much detail as you can summon - that everything you get rid of reduces the burden you're carrying on your chest?
Imagine that every piece you give away — every toxic relationship you walk away from, every disabling thought you decide to stop believing in — brings you closer to a lighter, freer, purer version of yourself.
In conclusion
That morning, an hour before the cleaning truck was due to pass her neighborhood, Jane stopped and pulled her shoe out of the trash and pushed it down with her hand.
Jane thought at that moment: “I could have kept the shoes, but I know I can't keep both of us.” Separating from the shoes was painful, but in this case, holding onto them made them worse.
A few hours later, she was standing by the sheer curtains of her front window and watching the cleaning truck carry the shoes away. As she had hoped, she felt lighter now that those shoes—and the emotional burden they carried—were finally out of sight.
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