Studies have long shown that stress can have a deleterious long-term effect on the brain and that even a few days of stress can harm the hippocampal neurons, which are crucial for thinking and memory.
Weeks of stress cause adverse damage to nerve dendrites (the little extensions that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently damage neurons. Therefore, stress is a major threat to success because your brain and performance will suffer when it gets out of control.
Most sources of stress or work pressures are easy to identify, but unexpected sources are the ones that surprise you and harm you the most.
Recent studies by the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany have revealed that people's minds react violently to pressure and tension when exposed to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions, the same emotions you feel when interacting with negative people. Negative people, whether harsh, negative or just plain obsessive, put your mind in a stressful state that you should avoid at all costs.
The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure directly affects your performance. The American company TalentSmart researched more than a million people and found that 90% of the best performers have the skill of managing their emotions during times of stress to maintain their calm and control.
One of the greatest ways to avoid stress is to keep negative people away. The best performers have good strategies for this.
Successful people use many effective strategies when dealing with toxic people. In this article, we will present twelve of the best methods.
To deal effectively with negative people, you need an approach that lets you control what you can control completely and ignore what you cannot. Remember that you have more control than you realize.
Steps Emotionally Intelligent People Take to Deal with Negative People
1. They set boundaries, especially with complainers
Complainers negatively impact those around them because they get lost in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so they can feel better.
People are often nervous to listen to complainers because they do not want to be seen as harsh or rude. However, there is a difference between empathetic listening and falling into a negative emotional spiral.
You can avoid getting into a negative emotional spiral by setting boundaries in the relationship and distancing yourself when necessary. For example, think of it this way: If someone was smoking, would you sit next to them and inhale the smoke? Certainly not. You will distance yourself so that you do not become a passive smoker. This is what you should do with complainers.
2. They do not exhaust their energy by fighting
Emotionally intelligent people know how important it is to live to fight another day.
Uncontrolled emotions in conflict can make you violent and might cause a lot of damage. However, when you read your emotions and respond to them, you can choose your battles wisely and stand up and prepare only when the time is right.
3. They rise above
Negative people drive you crazy with their irrational behavior. Don't fall into their trap. If their behavior contradicts reason and logic, why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get involved in absorbing their negative energy?
The more wrong and irrational a person is, the easier it is for you to escape their traps. So, stop trying to use their tricks, stay away from them, pay attention to these emotional reactions, and treat your interactions like a science project. You should not respond to emotional chaos but only to facts.
4. They remain aware of their emotions
Maintaining emotional distance requires more awareness. You cannot prevent someone from manipulating you if you do not know when it happened.
Sometimes, you will find yourself in situations where you must reorganize and choose the best way forward, which is okay. You shouldn't be afraid to take some time to do this.
Think of it this way: If a mentally unstable person approached you on the street and told you they were JFK, you probably wouldn't correct them. Also, when you find yourself with a co-worker who is engaging in similar thinking, it might be best to smile and nod. If you have to get it right, giving yourself time to plan the best way is best.
5. They set boundaries
This is the part that most people usually ignore for no apparent reason. They feel as if they are working or living with someone and cannot control how they mingle, which is far from the truth. Once you find your way to rise above, you will begin to discover the behavior of others in a way that is more predictable and easier to understand. This will prepare you to think rationally about when and where you should rise above and when you should not. For example, just because you work closely with someone on a project team doesn't mean you have to interact one-on-one in the same way with other team members.
Setting boundaries requires awareness and initiative. If you allow things to happen independently and without your control, you will inevitably find yourself in awkward conversations. However, you can manage many relationships if you establish boundaries and choose when and where to share or communicate with a complex person.
The only trick is to follow through and keep boundaries in place when the other person tries to infringe, which is what will happen.
6. They do not allow anyone to limit their joy
When you derive your happiness and contentment from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When intelligent people feel good about something they have done, they will never let anyone's opinions or accomplishments take away that feeling.
Although it is impossible to stop your reactions to what others think, you should not compare yourself to them. You can always consider people's opinions with some doubt. No matter what others think or do, your self-worth comes from within. No matter what people think, you are never as good or bad as they think.
7. They focus on solutions, not on problems
What you focus on determines your emotional state. Focusing on your problems enhances negative feelings, tension, and psychological pressures, which can hinder your performance.
Emotionally intelligent people do not study problems because they are most effective when focusing on solutions.
When it comes to negative people, focusing on how strange and difficult they are will give them control over you. So, stop thinking about how difficult a person is and focus on how you will deal with them. This makes you more effective by giving yourself control and reducing stress when dealing with negative people.
8. They do not forget
Emotionally intelligent people forgive quickly, but they don't forget.
Forgiveness requires letting go of what happened so you can move on, but this does not mean giving who did you wrong another chance. Intelligent people are unwilling to fall into other people's mistakes to no avail. They let them go quickly, but they insist on protecting themselves from future harm.
9. They don't respond to negative self-talk
You might sometimes absorb the negativity of others, affecting you negatively. Feeling bad about how someone treats you is acceptable, but self-talk - your thoughts about yourself and your feelings - can either exacerbate negativity or help you overcome it.
Negative self-talk is illogical, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is hard to recover from. So, you should avoid it at all costs.
10. They limit their caffeine intake
Consuming caffeine releases adrenaline, which is an acute psychological stress response. This survival mechanism forces you to stand up and fight or run when faced with a threat.
The stress mechanism causes you to avoid rational thinking in favor of a quicker response, which is great when a bear is chasing you, not when you encounter an angry colleague in the hallway.
11. They get enough sleep
Sleep is greatly important for increasing your emotional intelligence and helping you manage stress. When you sleep, your brain recharges, sorting out the day's memories and saving them or disposing of them through dreams so you wake up alert and active. Conversely, insufficient sleep affects your ability to control yourself, pay attention, and remember things. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels, even without the presence of stressors.
A good night's sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in dealing with negative people, giving you the perspective you need to deal with them effectively.
12. They use their own support system
It's tempting to handle everything yourself, but it's ineffective. To deal with negative people, you need to realize your style and methodology's weaknesses. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on dealing with a negative or difficult person.
We encounter people everywhere who want to help us get the best out of difficult situations. Try to identify these individuals in your life, try to win them over, and ask them for help when needed. Explaining a situation to someone else can help you see things from a different angle because they can see a solution that you often can't.
Add comment