Some people may lack self-control, rushing forward loudly and brutally without any consideration for others. Even those who make intense efforts to suppress their inner urges cannot always prevent inappropriate anger from taking a blind and unexpected hold on them.
The state that anger can drive us into is usually also visible to strangers. Anger manifests on your face, as your skin gets red, your voice trembles, your breathing accelerates, and your eyes shine intensely.
Anger can explode in various situations, such as personal conflicts, wars, and even in moments of self-reflection. Anger can cause harm, violence, and destruction. Uncontrolled aggression is often a powerful expression of anger.
Notorious Anger
It is not surprising that this unexpected impulse has a bad reputation in our society. Anyone who shows anger is considered rude and primitive. Modern humans are expected to maintain their composure and lock the rampant monster deep within the soul, according to common norms.
Even in earlier times, thinkers encouraged moderation and rationality, and wanted to suppress everything instinctive in people. The Roman philosopher Seneca, for example, devoted an entire book to anger, “On Anger.” He described this impulse as something harmful and unhealthy, which must be eradicated.
Anger is a “short-term mental illness” that a reasonable person should avoid. He also said: “Let us free ourselves from this evil, let us purify our souls, let us eliminate what grows from it.”
Later philosophers considered anger to be a sign of a fragile personality. For instance, the Englishman Francis Bacon described it as a typical emotion for the weak, referring to children, women, the elderly, and the sick, in the seventeenth century.
Many religions disapprove of anger. In Buddhism, for example, it is seen as an obstacle to enlightenment. Buddhist monks try to free themselves from emotional outbursts through meditation. In Islam, they believe that anger comes from the devil. In Christianity, it used to be one of the seven deadly sins in the early middle ages.
Scientists See Anger from another Perspective
Psychologists and psychiatrists emphasize the value of anger, for example by helping us set clear boundaries with others, setting warning signals, relieving internal tension, giving us accurate insights into our vulnerabilities, and motivating us to change. They emphasize the importance of experiencing and expressing anger because they know how destructive it can be to the body and mind if suppressed constantly.
Some researchers even assume that repressed anger can lead to pathological depression. Therefore, it is advisable to look at anger in a different way, and identify when it can help us and when it can harm us.
Biologically, Anger Is a Useful Impulse
Anger results from a whole series of physiological reactions. Stress hormones such as cortisol, noradrenaline, and adrenaline circulate through the body in increased amounts, causing blood sugar levels and blood pressure to elevate.
Then, additional blood is supplied from other tissues to the heart, lungs, brain, and muscles, the pulse accelerates, and all of a sudden, we are fully awake and energized. At the moment, we are prepared to respond to threats, pressure, or harassment.
However, anthropologists are aware of an amazing evolutionary mechanism that can stop the violence, as they believe that visible signs of anger can intimidate the other party, which resolves the conflict, regardless of how much anger makes us feel aggressive.
Scientists believe that anger has an important dual function that helped our ancestors live together peacefully in complex societies.
We Get Most Angry with Those Close to Us
What fuels anger might have changed little over the decades. Experts say that anger was mainly fueled by insults and unfair treatment in the past, just like nowadays.
Surprisingly, in Western culture, we rarely become angry at strangers, like in traffic. According to surveys, more than half of all tantrums (moments of intense emotion) are triggered by people we care about or at least love, such as when we are subjected to rejection, dishonesty, or a broken promise.
Lack of respect for self or property also prompts anger among many, just like demonstrative indifference. Naturally, many react with anger when they are verbally or physically attacked.
Repressed Anger and Mental Illnesses
Not everyone gets angry and turns their anger onto others. Most people tend to impose their anger on themselves, which sometimes leads to serious consequences for their mental balance. Researchers such as the American psychologist Raymond DiGiuseppe, who has been studying the effects of emotional disorders for years, assume that many cases of depression can result from inner anger.
According to DiGiuseppe, some patients become depressed because they believe they don't stand a chance against their tormentor or opponent, or they become desperate because they fear that repressed anger and frustration will continue to grow.
According to experts, people who have problems expressing emotions correctly are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression disorders that depend on anger. Those affected usually direct their feelings of anger against themselves, making them feel like failures and inferior; thus, they hold themselves responsible for the suffering they have experienced.
Numerous psychologists believe that suppressing anger all the time hurts us and may even make us ill, as the energy of anger actually exists. Those who do not find a socially appropriate way to express their anger are at risk of developing self-destructive behaviors, such as addiction and eating disorders (anorexia or bulimia.)
Repressed Anger and Physical Illnesses
Repressed anger can cause physical illness under certain circumstances. Potential consequences, according to renowned Austrian psychiatrist Heidi Kastner, include skin changes, high blood pressure, broken teeth, and digestive problems.
Repressed Anger and Crimes
Repressed anger always looks for an outlet. “In the worst cases, there is a risk of emotional crimes; that is, uncontrolled outbursts of anger, in which things or other people are harmed,” warns Heidi Kastner.
Parents Shape the Way of Dealing with Anger
To what extent does the individual allow and show anger? How do they deal with it? This is primarily determined in the parents' home. If teenagers notice that their parents deal with conflicts openly without hiding feelings, crying or raising their voices sometimes, it will be easier for them to accept and manage their own emotions later.
Young children are usually allowed to express their anger out loud. However, by the time they start going to school, adults usually want their children to be well-adjusted and obedient.
It is no coincidence that many teachers now try to control the behavior of girls and boys by always presenting themselves as friendly and understanding, even when they are raging and very nervous.
Anger as a Social Driving Force
Family therapist Jesper Juul, who died in 2019, clearly criticized this masquerade, asserting that a certain level of aggression is necessary for a good family environment. So adults should act like “normal people” with all their normal emotions, including irritation, frustration, and anger.
Therefore, parents must be honest, reveal their own limits, and take responsibility for their behaviors. Then, their children will also be able to discover their feelings and bear them in all their ranges, even the negative ones. Growth includes an infinite number of learning processes, which often lead to frustration for every child.
In Conclusion
In our society, only a few emotions are as strongly condemned as anger. Psychologists are discovering more and more positive effects of these disapproved emotions. Sometimes you need to express your anger in order to be healthy. Therefore, doctors call on people to express their anger, instead of just suppressing it all the time.
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