9 Smart Ways to Keep Calm

Note: This article is based on the work of the writer Angel Chernoff, in which she tells us about 9 smart ways to stay calm.

As human beings, we all have an idea in our minds of how things happen. Unfortunately, this idea is what messes up our relationships; we all get frustrated when things don't go how we expect, and people don't behave as expected of them.

We expect our spouses and children to behave in a certain way, our friends to be kind and agreeable, strangers to be less annoying, and so on, but when we face reality, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we want them todo, we overreact like anger, frustration, stress, arguments, crying, and so on; so what can we do about it?

Respirations

You can't control the behavior of others, and you can't  control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to everything. Your strength lies in your response. When you feel very angry, take a deep, long breath. Deep breathing relieves us of stress, calms the fight-or-flight response, and allows us to calm our nerves.

So we choose thoughtful and constructive responses, regardless of the situation. So, for example, do your best to stop for a moment and inhale and exhale the next time another driver passes you.

In a recent survey we conducted with 1,200 new trainees in the course, overreacting in traffic was the most common reason for overreacting daily -imagine if all the drivers on the road took a deep breath before making obscene gestures or shouting foul language at others.

Of course, we get very angry when we don't get what we expect from people, mainly when they act rudely and annoyingly, but trying to change the unchangeable and our desire for others to be exactly how we want them to be, doesn't work.

However , the alternative is unimaginable to most of us; It is breathing, letting go, and accepting people even when they bother us.

This is how I was growing it:

1. Breathe deeply and frequently.
2. Remind myself that I can't control others.
3. Remind myself that others can handle their lives however they want.
4. Do not take their behavior personally.
5. Seeing the good in people.
6. Let go of my ideals and expectations for others, which cause frustration, controversy and needless outbursts of anger.
7. Remember that when others are annoying, they often have a hard time I don't know about; I must give them compassion, love, and freedom.

Living this way requires practice, but it's worth it; it makes me less frustrated, helps me be more aware, improves my relationships, reduces my stress, and allows me to make the world calmer.

9 Smart Ways to Keep Calm

If you're ready to feel more peaceful and less anxious internally, here are some ways I've learned to stay calm, even when it seems like people around me can't control themselves. These methods reinforce the above points, and when you practice them consistently, it becomes much easier to deal with the world within and around you.

Here are the 9 ways:

1. Slow down

Don't expect the worst when you have a minor problem; when someone is acting irrationally, don't join them by rushing to make a negative judgment; instead, slow down and take a deep breath. Sometimes good people misbehave under pressure.

When you slow down, you give yourself space to collect your thoughts and allow  the other person to take a deep breath with you. In most cases, all we need is time and some freedom.

2. Respect people's differences

Learn to respect the opinions of others. When someone does something differently, it does not make them wrong. There are methods that lead to what is right in this world. Everyone has the right to express their own opinion.

So choose your battles wisely, and accept the difference sometimes. It is quite possible to communicate with someone you do not fully agree with but also to appreciate them. When you adhere to neutrality in matters that do not matter much or respectfully discuss your differences, both parties can remain calm and proceed satisfactorily.

3. Showing mercy

People today tend to worry, fear and be distracted about everything, and the word compassion means “to understand the other person's feelings.” When you can put yourself in the other person's shoes, you give them space to gather their strength without exerting additional pressure.

Remember that we do not really know what is happening in someone's life. So when you interact with others in tense environments, be supportive by abandoning expectations, judgments and demands.

4. Tolerance

Everyone gets upset and loses their temper sometimes; remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you find yourself making a judgment, add the word "like me sometimes" at the end of the sentence, for example:

• This guy's a whiner like me sometimes.
• They're just as impatient as I am sometimes.
• They're as rude as I am sometimes.

Let  go of the simple things, don't judge people, make your life simple.

5. Not taking people's behavior personally

You've said it before, and I'll say it again, if you take everything personally, you'll be offended for the rest of your life. There's no need for that, even when it seems personal; people rarely do anything because of you, they do things for their own reasons, and you may  not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be underestimated.

Do not overreact and overlook the mistakes of others. You feel a tremendous amount of freedom when you distance yourself from the beliefs and behaviors of others. How people treat you is their problem, and how you interact with them is your problem.

Everyone behaves in a certain way based on their feelings. Some people never learn how to deal effectively with their stressful feelings. So when a person acts hatefully, it is necessary to remain calm no matter what happens, and do what is needed to stay calm and address the situation with yourself and others, and here lies your greatest strength.

6. Minimize speech and learn to appreciate silence

Don't get into unnecessary arguments just because you feel uncomfortable in silence. Don't say things you'll regret after just five minutes of speaking time. Anger and frustration begin internally. You can choose your response to momentary discomfort, so breathe; a moment of silence in a moment of anger can save you from a hundred moments of regret.

When you're silent, you are often more powerful and influential in arguing. Others never expect silence,  shouting, defending, and attacking; they are willing to defend themselves with malicious comments prepared previously, but your thoughtful silence spoils their plans.

7. Create a morning ritual to get your day off to the right start

Do not check your phone or email when you wake up; do not put yourself in a stressful state of mind and are unable to deal positively with the negativity of others; save time and space for focused and peaceful morning rituals. For example, take ten deep breaths before getting out of bed, do some stretching exercises, and then practice meditation for ten minutes.

Start with small steps; for example, three deep breaths and three minutes of meditation daily. Do this for 30 days, and after 30 days, if these daily rituals become easy, add two more breaths and two minutes ; when you start your day vigilantly, you start your day quietly, regardless of what is happening around you.

8. Confrontation using healthy options and alternatives

When faced with stressful situations, we often calm ourselves with unhealthy choices, such as eating sugary snacks, smoking, etc. It's easy to react to anger with anger and unhealthy distractions. So notice how you deal with stress.

Replace bad coping habits with healthy coping habits. Walk in a green space, drink a glass of your favorite drink, sit quietly with your thoughts, listen to some fun music, write in your journal, or talk to a close friend. Healthy coping habits make people happy.

9. Remind yourself of what's right

Positive thinking helps you overcome the negativity around you. At the end of the day, think about your small daily achievements and all the small things that went well. Think only about three small events that happened during the day that you are no doubt grateful for, for example:

• My family and I returned home safely from work and school today.
• My husband and I laughed.
• We have food.

Let your positivity enable you to think, speak kindly, and do nice things for others. Kindness always makes a difference, so achieve results that others may be grateful for at the end of their day and be a more significant part of what's right in this world.

In conclusion

The primary damage we can do to human nature as a whole is to remain ignorant by not having the awareness and courage to look at ourselves and others honestly and gently.