Sometimes, we feel incapable of changing anything, that circumstances are much stronger than us, and that we have no power or strength. We may also feel that everything in our lives controls us, whether it’s our job, a relationship, or a friend. In this case, the fundamental question becomes: How can we regain control over our lives?
Controlling our lives means taking responsibility for every aspect of it, but it is undoubtedly impossible to have complete control over everything.
All we have control over are our reactions, thought processes, and decisions regarding relationships and the activities we devote our time and effort to. We frequently do not realize how much something controls us, and when we become aware of this, we acknowledge that we are the only ones responsible for our lives. Reaching this awareness level requires us to recognize that we are the only ones who control our lives' paths.
Signs That Indicate You Are Not in Control of Your Life
- Constant complaining.
- Persistent boredom.
- Never-ending excuses for not meeting your commitments.
- Sensing that things are not going well in your relationships.
- Spending most of your time on your phone.
1. Constant Complaining
Complaining always is a dead giveaway that something is wrong in your life. It surely upsets you, whether the issue is working under a bothersome manager, dealing with a draining friendship, or interacting with a family member who always wants to impose their will on others. However, what steps are you taking to address this issue?
Ask Yourself the Following Questions
- Am I doing anything to change this situation?
- Am I taking any initiative to improve the situation?
- Or am I just complaining?
This situation is challenging; sometimes, we feel powerless to change circumstances. However, this belief is untrue because we can always improve any situation. Change begins with taking action. By taking any step—no matter how small—to improve things, you demonstrate that you will not let the situation control you.
When you complain, consider how you can improve rather than fall into a vicious cycle of self-pity.
2. Persistent Boredom
A persistent sense of boredom indicates that we are not motivated in life. Nothing interests us, and we are dissatisfied with our lives and lack any kind of passion for anything. Here’s how to address this issue:
Ask Yourself the Following Questions
- Do I prioritize the things I love?
- Am I striving to achieve my dreams?
- Is it possible that I no longer allocate time for the things I enjoy?
- Have I become so engrossed in work that I forgot to give some priority to the things I enjoy because I believe I don’t have enough time?
Sometimes, the simplest things can make us happy. You might feel joy when talking openly with a friend, listening to one of your favorite songs, or eating at a place you love.
Having a well-organized routine gives us a sense of stability in our lives, which we should maintain. However, it is essential to dedicate time to interests and hobbies that we enjoy rather than do out of duty. Doing so significantly enhances our mental well-being and sense of control over our lives. Therefore, investing time in these things is a positive step.
As soon as you start doing the things you enjoy again, you will regain your enthusiasm and happiness. This will allow you to accomplish things that improve your health and happiness.
3. Never-Ending Excuses for Not Meeting Your Commitments
If you are unable to meet your commitments, you will not feel in control of your life, which can lead to losing discipline. In this case, the solution is to evaluate the importance we give to our commitments, whether it’s a date with a friend, a meeting, a family event, a job interview, or even a relationship.
It is critical to recognize any commitment slackness. Once you recognize this, you can work on improving the situation. Start your day by writing down all of your goals and committing to achieving them. This practice helps enhance your sense of responsibility, making you a committed person. Your sense of control over your life increases when you begin to commit to various areas.
4. Sensing That Things Are Not Going Well in Your Relationships
Maintaining toxic relationships can be emotionally exhausting. The reason may be the absence of boundaries in the relationship and avoiding discussing troubling issues with the other party. This way of handling relationships is certainly detrimental to your emotional health.
So, you must first identify the reason you avoid setting boundaries. Remember that you are not harming anyone when expressing your desire for respect; you are just preserving your emotional health. We feel happier and more respectful of ourselves when we tell others about our personal boundaries.
Everyone deserves this respect; no one can take control of their life without setting boundaries in their relationships. These boundaries allow us to interact based on mutual respect and love.
5. Spending Most of Your Time on Your Phone
Negative social media use can be destructive. Letting social media control our lives can have serious consequences, including the possibility of developing an addiction that we struggle to break free from. The answer is limiting the time we spend on our phones while being conscious of the negative effects this usage has on our productivity and health.
Doing this will give you a crystal clear vision of the current issue. Put differently, you will understand the driving force behind the addiction. Is this motivation rooted in comparing your life to the life others are trying to portray on social media platforms? Or do you do this driven by the belief that what you post on these sites is the only thing that represents your life? Do you feel anxious when you don’t constantly check your social media accounts? Have you become accustomed to spending a lot of time on these platforms?
Having accounts on multiple social media platforms is normal. However, allowing them to negatively impact our mental health and push us toward a pathological state is not normal at all.
You can practically solve this issue by tracking how much time you spend on social media at the beginning of the day and listing activities you would enjoy without needing to post them on your accounts. Committing to these boundaries will help you have a healthier mindset.
In Conclusion
Many people do not realize they control many aspects of their lives, even if they don't recognize them. Some of these aspects are the people we spend time with, the activities we participate in, the food we eat, and the amount of time we spend on social media.
We determine how we spend our time, even when it comes to doing nothing; it is up to us. So, remember this truth the next time you feel like you have no control over your life.
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