If you think about or say phrases like this, you are using fear-based motivation:
- “If I don't get these, what is the motive based on fear? Is it useful?
Fear-based motivation is to force yourself and others to do things for fear of what will happen if you don't do them well.
If you think about or say phrases like this, you are using fear-based motivation:
- “If I don't get this promotion, I'm going to be seen as a failure, so I better stay up all night working on this show.”
- “If you defend the idea of school reform, online bullies will attack me, so I'd better be quiet, even though I care a lot about this problem.”
- “If I don't exercise enough, I'll look bad, so I'd better go to the gym six days a week, even if my body hurts.”
What you may ignore is that while fear-based motivation may work in the short term, it can have long-term detrimental effects on your performance, relationships, and well-being.
Is fear-based motivation helpful?
If using fear as a motivator is normal for you, you're not alone - our brains use fear to keep us out of trouble, so it's natural to want to move away from what you feel is harmful and toward what you feel is safe.
This brain function is essential when there is a real threat to your safety, such as a venomous snake intercepting your path. Your brain will use fear to motivate you to get away from the snake as quickly as possible. However, when you use fear-based motivation to achieve your career goals, the constant state of fear puts unnecessary pressure on your mind and body and can ultimately harm you.
The Dark Side of Fear-Based Motivation:
For example, when your instructor motivates you in your gym during exercise with phrases like, “Swimming season is coming. Do you want the sagging to adorn your body?” Or, “Burn that piece of Christmas cake you ate last night.”
Sure, you might be motivated to do 10 more exercises, but what's going on in your subconscious? You probably have a picture of a group of people standing around on the beach making fun of you, or you feel guilty about eating that piece of cake and criticizing yourself for being unable to control yourself.
Relying on negative thinking:
This type of thinking is stressful for most of us and can make us moody and lower our energy levels. Relying on negative thinking is the problem with fear-based motivation. It forces us to care about what is right or wrong that could happen instead of anticipating and celebrating what is right. This, in turn, narrows our focus and prevents us from seeing the bigger picture.
When your brain senses a threat, whether it's a snake hiding in the grass or the prospect of mocking your body, your brain will take you into a defensive posture where your vision narrows, and you prepare to confront, evade, or feel helpless.
Perhaps you can imagine what this looks like in the case of the venomous snake, but how does it affect your experience with your body shape?
High Cost of Fear-Based Motivation:
Imagine that you are planning a beach vacation with your friends three months from now. The first thing you imagine is sitting on the beach and sagging on your body. So, you directly register for three months at the gym and eliminate sugar and stimulants from your diet, as you are determined not to embarrass yourself on the beach.
Does the fear of not looking like a model under the beach umbrella motivate you to get fit and eat better? Maybe, but what's it going to cost you?
Over the three months course, whenever you imagine your sagging body on the beach, you will feel afraid of feeling ashamed, and shame makes you want to hide, which makes it challenging to find the motivation to go to the gym instead of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream.
You become so focused on how you will look at the beach that you lose all pleasure and joy in life, you may miss going shopping with your friends for new clothes because you haven't reached the weight you want yet, and you may stop doing the things you love to do to spend more time in the gym. Also, you may avoid family gatherings where you will face tempting food, and you may over-train to the point of harming yourself.
Healthy Alternative to Fear-Based Motivation:
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about yourself as you swim on the beach, so if that's important to you, keep aiming. However, change the way you motivate yourself instead of using the fear of feeling ashamed to encourage you and try to use love-based motivation.
Love-based motivation is used instead of fear to lead and inspire you. It comes from a different part of your brain than the part where fear-based motivation comes from. Love-based motivation comes from the brain part responsible for joy, creativity, and emotion.
5 Questions About Love-Based Motivation:
There are many ways to spread love-based motivation. The secret is to use one or all of the following to motivate you toward your goal: empathy, curiosity, innovation, vision, and heart-centered action.
Here are five questions you can use to motivate yourself using love-based motivation:
1. What would you say to a friend in your place?
You will probably talk nicer to your friends and with more empathy than the way you speak to yourself. You would not say to a friend, “You better starve yourself and go to the gym three times a day to look good on the beach.” Instead, you might say something like, “I'm so excited to go on this vacation with you, and I can't wait to hang out while we're having coffee on the beach.”
Talk to yourself the way you talk to your friend.
2. What excites your curiosity about learning and may help you reach your goal?
Achieving our goals is more about the journey we needed to reach the destination than the goal itself. Curiosity makes trips more enjoyable, and you may be curious to run a marathon, but you don't know how to run, and if you spend three months learning to run, you will get a better body and learn something new.
3. How can you reach your goal in a way that feels good?
Using the "yes, but" approach is a great way to create innovative ideas to achieve your goals. If your first reaction is to go to the gym six days a week, but still you're not happy about it, find something you like about that idea and make it better.
For example, if what you love about going to the gym is exercising, what if instead of the gym, you joined a dance class where you could learn some new moves to show off on your vacation?
4. What is important to you regarding your goal?
As you dig deeper into your goal, it is likely to find deeper meaning, and if your goal is to “look good,” ask yourself why it is necessary to you.
For example, “I want to look good because I want to enjoy the vacation,” then ask yourself how much fun your vacation depends on how you look in your swimsuit.
5. What heart-centered work can you do that helps you reach your goal?
Whether your goal is still to focus on how you look in your swimsuit or change to looking for ways to have fun on your vacation, choose an action that looks like it's coming from a love zone rather than a fear zone.
For example, suggest that your friends take diving lessons together before the holiday, which will get you moving and bring your friends together.
Long-Term Happiness and Satisfaction:
Fear-based motivation may help you achieve your goals in the short term, but it will not lead to happiness and satisfaction in the long term. Fear cannot be used for long periods, and you will eventually get tired of fear and abandon your goals, but love was created to continue.
Finding your love-driven motivation will motivate you to reach your goals, whether your goals are to feel good about how you look in swimsuit, to get promoted at work, or to stand up for what you believe in.
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