Note: This article is based on the blogger Scott H Young, in which he tells us about his experience in impressing others.
Unfortunately, the topic of being liked has gotten a bad rap. You must have heard the saying, "To become famous and impress people, make them either love you or hate you." But the truth is that the pursuit of fame is an abominable vanity, and even the greatest celebrities have been criticized by those closest to them. The Russian-American writer Ayn Rand glorified the hated Howard Roark in her novel The Fountainhead.
People Confuse an Impressive Person with the Person Who:
- Has a fluid personality.
- Is weak-willed.
- Is dependent.
- Prefers popularity and fame over principles.
- Is a flatterer.
All these qualities are related to the characteristics of the hated person. The undistinguished person, the weak-willed, the dependent, and the flatterer are not likeable people; they are rather a tool.
These qualities are not impressive at all. If you believe that making a good first impression requires sacrificing your values, independence, or individuality, you are mistaken. Impressing others simply means doing so without exerting any effort on your part.
The Power of Being an Impressive Person
It seems more boring than exciting to impress others. As the majority of people prefer persuasive or pitching skills to impressiveness. Although being an impressive person is nothing great, it undoubtedly affects your life.
Consider managing a company. Any business requires you to interact frequently with people, including clients, suppliers, contractors, staff members, and friends. Customers will buy elsewhere if they don't like you. Additionally, suppliers won't offer you their best deals, temporary employees won't be committed to meeting delivery deadlines if they hate working with you, and the same is true of employees. Also, Friends who dislike you won't support you.
“Do I like this person?” is a common question in all fields of interpersonal interaction. Your life will be greatly affected if you can persuade people to say "yes" to this question.
The qualities of charm, bravery, or character have no direct effect on admiration. It won't matter whether you're a hero, a coward, kind, or anything else. I've met heroes and people with admirable morals, but they didn't impress me. I've also met regular people who are also cowards and occasionally dishonest, but I liked being around them.
For each of the aforementioned personality traits, I have met people who have traits I like and people who have traits I don't like. So why don’t I become an impressive person?
Impressing Is a Social Skill
| impressing others is just a social skill, similar to how any competent public speaker can deliver a persuasive speech. |
A person who has mastered the social skills to impress is easy to befriend because impressing others is just a social skill, similar to how any competent public speaker can deliver a persuasive speech.
While the list is certainly incomplete, some of the skills with which I would describe likable people are:
1. Kindness
A kind person is not a coward; they are just not rude. Some people are often blunt to compensate for their lack of self-confidence, but people who are truly self-confident don't need to do that. That's why the most genuinely confident people are often the kindest.
2. Friendliness
You can learn to be friendlier, regardless of how intimidated, uncertain, or vulnerable you feel when meeting new people. There is a threshold beyond which friendliness turns hostile and impolite, but most people I know fall far short of that.
3. Empathy
A person who is likeable is very perceptive and avoids doing things that might offend others. If they do, they are aware of it and know it was a conscious decision. This is the difference between standing your ground if someone doesn't like your personality and making fun of someone's accent, which could unintentionally offend them.
4. A Sense of Humor
Likeable people are usually calm, funny, and light-hearted. It's not that they have never been serious, angry, or sullen; rather, they just choose those moments carefully so that people don't assume that these are who they really are.
5. Clarity
It is easy to communicate with likeable people, as they have learned how to explain their passions and motivations in a way that others can easily understand. I don't like skateboarding, but if you are passionate about it as a hobby, you should be able to make me understand why you are passionate.
However, concentrating on the specifics of the skill is less significant than your passion for it, so if you think it is important to impress others, you can improve your likeability by trying to be kinder, friendlier, and more empathic so you can spot the occasions when you might unintentionally upset someone. You can improve your sense of humor and explain your passion in a way that excites people who may not have heard of it before.
Impressiveness Is Not Everything; It's Just One of the Other Important Things
I think that some of the violent reactions towards impressing others are caused by a certain group of people. These are the individuals who will go above and beyond to win favor; they mimic their friends, transgress their moral principles, and squirm in need of attention. These individuals think that being popular is the only important quality, if not the most important one.
In Conclusion
Don't be one of those people for beginners, and I don't think their approach is very effective. Ironically, if you give up everything to impress people, you won't get what you want because your desperate attempts to appear attractive show that you are a failure. The ability to impress people is just one of many useful skills, so it is not worth sacrificing everything for.
However, when used properly, a like can be a powerful tool that facilitates interpersonal interactions, expands your opportunities without resorting to manipulation, and attracts support from people who genuinely want to help someone they like.
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