Fourteen Social Skills for Success in Life

Note: This article is taken from the writer Vanessa Van Edwards, in which she talks to us about the most important social skills that we should possess and the characteristics of each of them.

I was absolutely alone because I was so busy and had no company at all. I used to be self-conscious when I was around other people and unsure of how to engage in conversation or interact with those around me. The circle of embarrassment in my life then started; the more embarrassed I am, the less time I spend with people, which in turn made me feel more embarrassed and confused, and so on.

The problem is that creative, bright, and interesting people like you focus so much on their IQ that they forget to think about the intelligence of other people's knowledge, and they work so hard at acquiring high-tech and job skills that they completely forget that social skills or human skills exist.

The Definition of Social Skills:

Social skills are methods or ways of knowing others that we use to communicate with them, build relationships with people around us, and interact with them. They are also called people skills or interpersonal skills. I think that we all - especially adults - should undergo training in social skills, which is actually the only universal job skill. But very few people receive social skills training. People assume that they learn it automatically without any effort, and parents believe that their children will do the same. Teachers also believe that students will pick up social skills when playing on the playground or in the schoolyard. But in reality, each of these is a grave mistake.

When you practice social skills well and create a solid foundation for yourself, you will be able to have conversations with others, ask for help, set boundaries, make friends, and communicate smoothly with people, thus becoming an eye-catching, memorable person.

You will learn through your excellent practice of social skills that there are many different types of social skills. In this article, I'll teach you the 14 fundamental social skills that every adult should be familiar with.

Training adults on social skills:

The social skills I'm going to mention below are the ones that I think every professional or expert adult should know. You must have heard of Strengths Finder 2.0, which is our social strengths finder. Every person usually has three great social skills that they can benefit from, in addition to a weak skill that settles at the bottom of their personal experiences that they must develop. As you read this article, give yourself feedback on what your best skills are.

Fourteen social skills to succeed in life:

1.The linchpin:

Linchpin people concur with the following statements about them:

I am the one who keeps social unity among the individuals in my group.
As a team member, I take part in numerous projects that unite ideas and people.
I am the only person who talks to everyone in my family and keeps them updated.

So if you find the above statements applicable to you, then you are most likely a linchpin with the following social skills:

Bring people together, keeping your personal social network, family and team together.
Skilled social event planner; You are the only one who organizes social events and brings people together at gatherings, parties, and other occasions. You are also skilled at managing event planning, coordinating activities, and hosting large crowds.
You value hard work, great care, a living conscience, and love to be a leader and take responsibility.

2. The skilled communicator

A skilled communicator will agree with the following statements because they will find them expressive:

You have been complimented on your speaking and communication skills.
You are an excellent leader and facilitator of in-depth discussions.
You speak fluently and can express yourself easily.

If you agree with and accept the above statements, then you are probably a good conversationalist and possess the following social skills:

You are excellent at talking to others and engaging in conversations and debates in a meaningful and non-authoritarian manner.
You are great at providing positive feedback to your interactions.
During a conversation, you act in a lively, energizing, gestural way, and your voice is varied and focused. Additionally, you support this behavior with positive non-verbal cues like gestures and facial expressions like smiling and laughing, which demonstrate a genuine and sincere interest in the other person.
You put your attention on social interaction and conversations with others, giving them ample time to speak and offer them verbal and nonverbal support and encouragement. You communicate simply, elegantly, and fluently. Your voice appears confident and your interactions are low in tight motions and uneasy gestures like fidgeting, hesitation, perplexity, and interruptions.

3. The Comedian:

Comedians agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I am a funny and entertaining person.
I love making others laugh.
I can always see the positive or bright side in all the situations I am exposed to.

If you agree and accept the above statements, then you are probably a comedian with the following social skills:

You use humor in a positive, altruistic way that is entertaining, uplifting, or that helps others feel better.
You do not use humor in a way that criticizes or belittles others, nor do you use it in an insulting, humiliating, or offensive manner.
Your comedic style puts others at ease. It may include saying funny things, telling jokes, or laughing at yourself. It also helps you build strong relationships with them. Research shows that humor is indeed a social skill.
You are able to see the funny side of life even in stressful times.

4. The Speaker:

Speakers agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I can capture the hearts of the masses.
I like to stand on stage or chair a meeting, even via video.
I love writing speeches and giving presentations.

If you agree and accept the above statements, you are likely a great speaker and have the following social skills:

You are very clever and intelligent, and you have a very strong and remarkable influence in the way you talk to others.
You have the presence and charisma in public speaking situations in front of an audience, as if you are leading and controlling them.
You have the ability to communicate your insights and knowledge in a way that seems instinctive, improvised, and without prior planning; However, you are a very organized and tidy person, as the Irish poet Oscar Wilde said: “Spontaneity is a meticulously prepared art.”
You have the ability to deliver your words with eloquence, passion, and clarity.

5. The Influencer:

Influencers agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

People naturally listen to what I have to say.
I can be very persuasive.
I am good at promoting myself and gaining approval from others.

If you agree and accept the above statements, then you are likely an influential person with the following social skills:

You have the ability to influence others and push them to make a change, whether or not you have formal authority.
You are very good at urging and motivating others to support your cause.
You can read both people and situations well, choose your behaviors and actions strategically and purposefully and present them in a way that influences others and drives them to certain end goals.
You have a great balance between being assertive and proud, yet open to discussion and communication. But you may resort to tactics as needed, such as rational or logical persuasion, representation, self-promotion or hope.
You can sell anything you want and convince others of whatever you want, and you have no problem promoting yourself.

6. The listening:

Good listeners agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

People always come to you to vent about something that is bothering them, to complain, or to talk about their issues.
You tend to listen to others more than you speak.
You are very good at being present with people and giving them your undivided attention.

If you agree with and accept the above statements, you are probably a good listener and have the following social skills:

You are very generous in listening to others, which encourages them to share their feelings, interests, and concerns with you. Then you show them appreciation and gratitude for their time.
Have the ability to understand well. You can distinguish between the words spoken and their inherent meaning, and people feel that talking to you is like a cure that heals their wounds.
You give people your undivided attention and focus on them. You are a very alert and curious person by nature.
You treat others with respect and value your relationships with them.
Researchers Andrew Wolvin and Carolyn G.Coakley identify different types of listening to others; These include discriminating, inclusive, therapeutic, critical, or analytical and appreciative listening. You may be adept at some or all of these social listening skills.

You might not be a good listener, as I also struggled to acquire this social skill. In fact, I was such a bad listener that I vowed to be silent in order to learn how to be a better listener to those around me. Perhaps you can benefit from this approach to developing this social skill.

7. The attractive person:

Attractive people agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

People usually love and admire you.
You have a charming charisma that attracts people, in addition to your sincerity and originality.
People find you friendly, nice and easy to get close to.

If you agree and accept the above statements, then you are probably a very attractive person with the following social skills:

People like you and are attracted to you without even knowing you.
You illuminate the place, overflowing with charm and charisma, and it is clear that you have a high self-esteem, which makes you contagious of these qualities and a spreader of positive energy.
You enjoy what research calls a pro-social behavior because you have an attractiveness that tempts many of those around you to know you and build personal relationships with you, which makes you an easy person to approach and communicate with.
You attract most of the people who want to be your friends because you are a captivating and charming person, and they describe you as likable.

8. The Storyteller:

Storytellers agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I always have a story to share with people.
I memorize good stories and make sure they are remembered.
People are always asking me to introduce new people.

If you agree with and accept the above statements, you are probably an excellent storyteller and have the following social skills:

You have the ability to innovate stories that interest, motivate and inspire people. Stories can actually have such an effect according to research.
You tell stories and anecdotes in a captivating, engaging, fun and interesting way that will elicit the required emotional reaction from the audience.
You can use several different persuasive verbal techniques when telling a story, such as elaboration for the sake of clarity, emotional language or attention to detail.
You can always change the atmosphere and mood of the place you are in, and people may have told you previously that you add more possibilities, perceptions, and scenarios to their lives.
Your storytelling is full of an indefinable charm, spark or vitality that helps you connect with your listeners and truly engage them in a shared journey through imagination.

9. The supportive person:

Supportive people agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

You love to take care of others.
You tend to be a people-pleaser and have difficulty saying no.
You are a very caring, sympathetic and understanding person.

If you agree with and accept the above statements, you are likely to be a supportive person with the following social skills:

You show concern, care, kindness and friendliness to others.
You can equally understand people's positive and negative feelings since you have a high degree of empathy, understanding, and tenderness.
You like to share their joys with others, and you can also share their suffering when they are in pain.
You have a strong desire to improve the well-being of the people around you.

In terms of this skill, I actually want to help supportive and empathetic people protect themselves, and they sometimes need to pay attention to the following two points:

Learn to say no and set boundaries.
Get rid of fake friends.

10. Analyst:

Analysts agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I am a insightful person.
I can usually tell what the people around me are feeling or thinking.
I am very good at analyzing, interpreting and understanding body language.

If you agree and accept the above statements, you are likely an analyst with the following social skills:

You have a strong talent and ability to perceive and understand your own social and personal environment.
You are a curious person with a strong drive to observe and understand human behavior, without falling victim to cognitive bias.
You have strong emotional intelligence and sensitivity to both verbal and non-verbal cues. You can detect if others are telling the truth or deceiving you. You can also analyze social roles, situations and social scenarios around you.
You are insightful and perceptive to the fullest extent, and you consider yourself an examiner or an investigative person hunting for signals.

But if you are not a good analyst, the best way to improve and develop your analytical skills is to learn how to read people's facial expressions.

11. The Leader:

Leaders agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I like to give people confidence and strength.
People often turn to me for guidance and advice.
I am better at giving directions and instructions than at following them.

If you agree and accept the above statements, then you are likely a leader and have the following social skills:

You feel comfortable taking leadership and taking responsibility for both people and situations.
You enjoy the originality and honesty in your behavior and your distinctive way, and it is easy to get close to you and communicate with you. You also inspire others, enable them to achieve their goals and encourage them to do so, and stimulate their intelligence and mental abilities.
You take the time to accurately understand others and take into account their feelings and needs. Your subordinates love your influence and charisma.

12. The socialist:

Socialists agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

I make a lot of effort and spend a lot of time forming relationships with others and communicating with them.
I am good at building relationships with influential and important people.
I have established for myself a huge network of colleagues, partners and assistants that I can turn to, and ask for help and support from when I need to get my work done and run my affairs.

If you agree and accept the above statements, then you are likely to be a socialist with the following social skills:

You enjoy the ability to build new relationships with people easily and to enhance, strengthen and maintain your old relationships with them. You also make a great effort to understand others and establish relationships with them.
You know a lot of important people, and you also have relationships with powerful people because you actually enjoy spending time developing your relationships and communication with others.
You are good at investing your relationships and your social network in achieving good things for yourself and others around you.

13. The cooperative:

Cooperative people agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

You are very skilled in solving the problems of people around you.
You like to encourage people and strengthen their resolve.
You are known as the problem solver.

If you agree and accept the above statements, you are likely to be a cooperative person with the following social skills:

You are a positive and optimistic person. Some people may even view you as encouraging and supportive because you have the ability to lift, empower, motivate and inspire others.
You are a source of strength; You love to refine and polish the capabilities of others, turning them into unique talents, and you always offer to help people achieve their goals.
Everyone turns to you to help them solve their problems; So you have the delicate balance between being a good listener and problem solver for others.
You try to look at problems from different perspectives and think about different points of view and opinions regarding them. You stress the importance of accuracy over speed, and you are always ready to keep your options open.

This social skill is somewhat different from other skills. To encourage and empower others, you must also have a strong sense of purpose and know your goals well.

14. The flexible:

Flexible people agree with the following statements because they find them expressive:

You can get along and agree with anyone.
You are a smooth person both socially and professionally, as you communicate smoothly and easily with different types of people.
Have a wide range of interests and friends.

If you agree and accept the above statements, you are likely a flexible person with the following social skills:

You are flexible and adaptable to your social environment. Some researchers say you actively monitor social roles and contextual cues. Then you subconsciously imitate the manners, behaviors, and actions of the people you interact with.
You scrutinize the situations you are exposed to and look closely at them to know what is expected of you before you show any response or reaction. If you feel that your actions are not having the desired effect, you can quickly and easily change them to behaviors that do. As a result, you are welcome in various social gatherings and can easily integrate into them.
You may be known in social circles as a smooth person who moves smoothly from one social group to another and is seen as everyone's friend. Author Mark Snyder calls this skill prototypic high self-monitors in his book Public Appearances, Private Realities: The Psychology of Self-Monitoring. “These people read the nature of the situation they are in and conjure up a picture of the kind of person that situation calls for, and then use that picture as a guide to the appropriate behavior or action on their part,” he says.

This skill is the most advanced and developed because it includes elements of all other skills. So in order to become a receptive person and develop your social and professional smoothness, work on developing all of these social skills and also your human skills, which are slightly different from social skills. Make sure to learn them together.