Note: This article is based on the blog post by Remez Sasson, in which she tells us about the reasons why we shouldn't feel offended by what others say to us.
However, it would only be reasonable to expect everyone to like us some of the time. We dress in a way that we think People love us with it, and we often do foolish things to make them love us, but it doesn't always work, and then we feel sorry.
There will always be people whose opinions differ from ours, who criticize what we do, and say unkind things about us. This is part of human nature, and we have to accept it, and not let it affect our feelings and reactions.
Most people like to gossip; Most of their small talk involves some gossip about friends, colleagues, family members, or celebrities, and to be fair, a lot of the time, it's not done out of harm's way; Rather, it happens out of curiosity.
And if you take what people say to you or about you very personally, you won't be happy most of the time, so why should you worry if someone says something you don't like? You have to forget about it and move on.
You may say that it is impossible to ignore or forget it, but it is possible, although it takes some practice, so why allow what other people say to affect how you feel? Why do you give them such control over your influence? Why do you allow others to control you?
Reasons not to be offended by what people say
You should not take anything. Personally, nothing is worth it, here are seven reasons not to be offended by what people say; Understanding these reasons will help you stop taking things personally and worrying about what people say about you:
1. People don't always mean what they say
Many times people say something as a joke, or without intending to harm, or express criticism, sometimes this is because people use words in a wrong and inaccurate way, other times, people may strike a chord without realizing it. In these cases, the anger and resentment are misplaced. You are only hurting yourself and your relationship with these people if you allow the anger to grow inside you.
2. Criticism is not always about you
Sometimes you may hear people criticizing or mocking a person, and you mistakenly assume that it is about you. People often harbor feelings of resentment and hatred towards others because of wrong assumptions and information, and they spoil their relationships with others. So you have to know that it is about you instead of looking at yourself negatively and feeling resentful.
3. You can't control what other people think
Know that you have no control over what people think and what they say, and that it is absurd always to strive to be a good person in the eyes of others. It is normal for there to be differences in opinions, beliefs and expectations.
4. Criticism is part of human nature
No matter what you do, people will always find faults in you. However, there are other reasons to end your relationship with them. Even your best friends and people who love you may criticize you sometimes. This is okay. You should not take it personally, if you allow yourself to be insulted and continually ponder their words, you will hurt yourself and others and spoil your relations with them.
5. Listening to what people say is an opportunity to improve yourself
Sometimes what others say about you is true, and then your anger will not be appropriate. Thinking about what they said and realizing that they are right shows your maturity, and it's a big step towards moving forward and making progress. So use criticism as a mirror to show your weaknesses and negative habits and a stepping stone to improving yourself.
6. If you allow yourself to be offended, you encourage people to continue to offend you
Being offended and taking things personally may encourage certain types of people to continue to annoy you in certain circumstances, even to make fun of you. They interpret your behavior as weakness and fragility and take pleasure in annoying you; So, don't fall into this trap: Just stay calm and don't get angry, show maturity and discipline, and they will stop bothering you.
7. Refrain from showing a reaction that demonstrates your inner strength and maturity
Avoid showing an angry reaction, making negative self-talk, and thinking about hurting other people's feelings. This is very difficult and impossible; It is not easy, but it is completely possible with some practice.
Here are some tips to achieve this:
- Take a few deep breaths before you say anything.
- Wait a few seconds before responding.
- Delay your reactions for a few seconds.
- Direct your thoughts to something else funny and entertaining.
If you show self-discipline and self-control, you show your inner strength and maturity, which people respect.
In conclusion
Suppose you want to deal with this problem effectively and stop taking things personally and feeling offended by what people say. In that case, you need to develop a certain degree of emotional detachment.
As it is the most effective tool to let go of anything that discourages you, and there are different situations in life; Where it is helpful and worthwhile to show emotional detachment when you are in stressful situations, or when you are with stressful people, or when you are overwhelmed by negative emotions and tend to take things personally.
In these situations, emotional detachment enables you to remain calm, control your negative reactions, and avoid being negatively affected by others' moods and anger. Detachment is also useful for freeing yourself from negative thoughts and feelings.
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