Preparing the child psychologically before the arrival of a new sibling is one of the significant things that their parents should do since the beginning of the pregnancy, unlike what some people think is a simple matter, and the child gets used to it over time after the arrival of the new baby. The child cannot get used to the new situation unless they are well prepared for the big changes that will happen with the family later.
The Effect of the Newborn on the Child
The psychological impact of the arrival of a new sibling is not limited to a specific period of the first child's life, as studies indicate that many psychological problems may start and have their roots as a result of this matter and remain accompanying the person throughout their life and cannot be easily overcome. With the arrival of the brother or sister, the older child is curious about this little creature and what they will do, in addition to jealousy and distress, because everyone's attention will automatically go to the new baby after they were previously the center of their attention.
Therefore, the first child sometimes tends to make some movements to draw attention to their presence, such as a hunger strike, they may return to doing behaviors that their parents previously prevented them from, such as thumb sucking, and sometimes they may try to harm the newborn by hitting them, scratching them, or sabotaging their things to express their anger at their arrival.
Usually, parents move the older child to another room or to another bed as they prepare their previous bed to be used when the new baby arrives. This is accompanied by a feeling of persecution and injustice for the older child because they will believe that their parents have become preferring their new sibling over them, and this leads them to stick to their old things, toys, and clothes, even if they did not need or care for them before.
But often, these behaviors are temporary and may never occur if the child is ready for the newborn's arrival, and it may happen completely otherwise, they may be pleased with them and try to get close to them and play with them too.
How to Prepare an Older Child to Welcome a New Sibling?
There are several essential tips and steps that parents, especially the mother, can take during pregnancy to prepare the child to welcome the new baby and avoid the problems we mentioned above. Here are the most important ones:
1. Informing the Child When the Pregnancy Occurs
If the child is young, for example, from one to two years, they will not often understand what it means to have another child and to have a brother or sister, but even so, you can talk to them about the arrival of a new baby with happiness and excitement. This feeling will be passed on to them. It is possible to use the comics that talk about the brothers, sisters, and the family, as they can understand through them that they will have a sibling.
As children over two years old, they may be more sensitive to change, so the mother must tell them herself about the occurrence of pregnancy because their connection to her is profound at this stage. They should not hear this from others or by chance, as this may cause them a shock, and the situation becomes more difficult in this case.
Their parents can sit with them and mention some examples from their surroundings, such as their cousins or any relatives' children, and talk to them about the siblings' relationship and how beautiful it is. Then they can tell them they will have a very young sibling as they were in the past. If they find pictures of the child at that stage, it is preferred to see them so that they have an idea of the matter they don't think that a sibling will come to play with them directly. Instead, you will take care of them first so that they can grow up, and then they can play with them later and share their fun activities, and they will be pleased then.
2. Listening to Their Opinion
The child will have many questions, so it is necessary to allow them to speak and listen carefully to know what is on their mind and answer their various questions. This step is crucial to reassure them if they feel afraid of the sibling's coming, and they may ask about pregnancy, such as the following questions: “What are they doing in your belly? Are they moving, or are they asleep?" Respond nicely to their questions and ask them what they think, like "What do you think they are doing?" So you know what they are thinking, but if they don't want to talk, don't ask them about it so they don't feel pressured, as it is necessary to wait for them to ask first.
3. Always Talk to Them and Tell Them New Information
You do not have to tell them all the details at once, but by talking to them, you can speak every time about some information. For example, how will the new child eat in the first stage so that they can accept the idea of breastfeeding later? And that they will not be able to fulfill their needs by themself like them but will need a diaper and will need someone to change their clothes always. It is possible to use videos to understand the conversation well because seeing these details after birth makes them think that their sibling is distinct from them if they did not understand them previously.
4. Taking the Child to the Doctor When Checking Up the Pregnant Mother
This helps the child to understand the stages of the fetus’s formation in their mother’s womb, in addition to telling them that they, too, have gone through this stage. But it is preferable not to talk in front of them about things that they cannot understand, such as the pain felt by the pregnant mother or the possible problems that may occur during childbirth, so that they don't feel fear and form an adverse reaction towards their coming sibling, as they may think that they are the cause of the pain felt by their mother.
5. Participate with the Child in the Preparations
The child should not only see their parents preparing to receive the newborn, but rather they should allow them to help in that by taking them to the market and taking their opinion on their sibling’s clothes, toys, or bed. There is no objection to buying some items according to the first child’s taste.
Some parents may resort to hiding the matter of preparations from their children. Still, this behavior is very wrong, and it is also nice to buy a gift for the first child while buying things for the newborn so that they don't feel neglected and their feelings of jealousy begin to appear.
6. Preparing a Child’s Psychological for the Childbirth Stage
The child is very attached to their mother, so it will be difficult for them when their mother suddenly leaves home while staying in the hospital. So it is necessary to prepare when the date of birth approaches and tell them that their mother will have to leave them for several days and that she is unable to take care of them for some time due to her difficulty of moving. Still, they will wait for her to return and will be able to help her. Because the child will remain for that period in the care of a close relative, it is preferable to ask them about the person they want and who is dearest to their heart so that it will not be a difficult period for them.
7. Postpartum Stage
This stage is very sensitive, so it is necessary to pay attention to the following points to avoid problems or a decline in the psychological state of the first child:
First Meeting
In this meeting, a first impression will be formed that can never be easily forgotten, so it is necessary to make the first meeting full of love. For example, it is possible to prepare a special gift for the first child and tell them that it is their sibling’s gift to them. It is not necessary to exaggerate the fear of the newborn in front of them or prevent them from closing, looking, or touching them. Instead, they must be allowed to do that to avoid a gap formation between the two children.
The Family's Interest in Them
You can ask the family and close relatives coming to visit you to take care of the older child and play with them as it had happened before so that they don't feel that their sibling has stolen their attention them and their presence has become unimportant to others, so they do actions to draw attention only, and they may give them gifts as well and not only for the new child.
Their Parents' Interest in Them
The first child should not feel that they have lost interest in their parents, even when they are busy with the new situation, there is no objection to cuddling, kissing, and petting them a little, it does not take more than a few minutes.
The father can make time for them to go together to a place they love and do some fun activities to feel that they are still loved, or he can take care of the new child so that the mother spends some time with her older child talking to them and watching TV together, preparing food they love or even playing with them as she used to do before, if that is possible.
Allowing Them to Help
They will try to help their mother take care of the newborn, so they should not be taken away, they can be shared with some simple actions. For example, if they want to change their sibling's clothes, you can tell them that they will choose the clothes for them. You change them so that they feel involved, or if they want to help you during the shower, they can be allowed to pour a little water or bring some things that the child needs, or you can ask them to amuse their sibling, play with them, dance for them, or tell them stories they know. But they should not be forced to do any work to help their parents if they are not willing to do so, so that they don't feel angry and resentful at the new situation.
Stay Away from Anger If the First Child Behaves Strangely
As a result of the jealousy of the newborn, they may do some actions that they have never done before, such as crying intensely without knowing the reasons, screaming, moving a lot, or trying to sabotage some things if their parents get angry or punish them, it will only get worse because their goal is not to annoy them but rather to interest them. That is why it is necessary to hug them, care for them, and tell them that they will always be their first joy, as they need to hear these kind words.
In Conclusion
Raising a child is a great challenge that parents face, and the arrival of a new child means a new and greater challenge than the first one, this is because the tasks will be doubled.
In addition to caring for a new baby, there is the care of the first child, especially the psychological care that must be provided. This is to be able to accept the presence of a sibling who shares everything with them and to be able to establish a beautiful relationship with them far from jealousy.
The child is a very clean and pure page, and the more you treat them with kindness and love, they will return them to you twice.
Therefore, taking care of children is one of the noblest jobs that parents do, and preparing a child to welcome their sibling is not an easy matter, as some believe, but at the same time, it is not impossible by following the points we mentioned above, it can be bypassed simply.
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