The experience of fatherhood is a wonderful experience, but moving a person from one stage to a new stage requires effort and attention. It can also be a confusing experience. So, before the baby is born, you can make adequate preparation for this stage to raise your awareness of everything related to how to deal with them after birth.
Tips for new fathers before the baby is born:
The mother prepares for the arrival of her child during pregnancy from the first moment she knows the news of her pregnancy. This is because at every moment she feels their presence, while the father's feelings for the presence of the child are less than the feelings of the mother; therefore, the mother may give birth to the child before the father is sufficiently ready for their arrival. It is important to take some measures that help prepare the father for the new stage of his life. Here are some of the necessary measures before the arrival of the child:
1. Participating during pregnancy:
As we have said, a person may not remember daily that he is going to become a father unlike women. Therefore, it is possible to go with the wife to the periodic visits to the doctor during pregnancy and follow the stages of the formation of the fetus in detail, and also to put your hand on the belly of your wife, and your sensitivity to the movements of the child helps you develop a sense of participation, in addition to talking constantly to her about pregnancy and its changes. All of this makes you feel ready for their coming.
2. Thinking about parenting qualities you wish you had:
This is so that you realize the nature of the relationship that you want to build with your child one day. For example, you can remember how your father treated you, what you like, and what you hate in your relationship with him, in order to work on changing the negative qualities in your personality, if any, to enhance the positive qualities, and to find the appropriate way to reach the form of the relationship that you desire.
3. Consulting friends or people close to you:
A person may need psychological support from others and useful advice for him in his next stage. Therefore, it is possible to seek advice from people whose opinion you trust or who you admire in raising their children to have a broad idea of what you may face after the birth of the child. In addition to that, hearing positive opinions about fatherhood increases your encouragement and readiness to become a father.
4. Attending courses or lessons related to child care:
Parents attending this type of courses can help know what can happen during childbirth, how to deal with the child in the first days of their arrival, and to know whether the habits inherited in society about dealing with the child are all good or there are bad ones that should be avoided. In addition, it may be noted how to deal with the costs of having a child -which parents often do not know- but it is necessary to think about these matters before the child comes to plan well and organize financial matters.
5. Talking to your wife about the potential for your life to change after giving birth:
The relationship between the spouses may change for the better or for the worse. This depends on the degree of awareness, maturity, and understanding of both parties, and discussion of these matters is necessary to avoid disputes later.
Tips for new parents after a baby is born:
Some parents may think that the mother is the one who does everything the child needs; that is, the child needs their mother only, but the father's role is very important and very influential in his child's life. This influence begins from the first moments after their birth since a child is born ready to communicate with both parents. Here are some tips that will help during this stage:
1. Practice doing everything for the child:
Even if the mother does everything and spends all her time with her child, this does not prevent you from learning how to hold, dress, change diapers, or calm them. These behaviors may seem simple, but they enhance the communication between the child and the father, in addition to the positive aspect of the matter that you will allow their mother a little rest, as participation is very necessary for the success of the marital relationship.
2. Learn to understand your child:
Children make many signs that indicate their needs; therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to all the signs that the child shows.Also, this can be learned by reading books that talk about the child's body language, or through the Internet or attending appropriate educational and training seminars.
3. Help your wife when she breastfeed the baby:
This can be done by supporting and encouraging her to breastfeed because the mother needs moral support to overcome her fear or tension resulting from trying something new to her, so be sure to provide anything she needs while she is breastfeeding, such as giving her a glass of water or placing a pillow behind her back to help her sit comfortably and increase her calm. You are the best supporter at this stage, and your presence by her side is very important so that she can restore her psychological stability.
4. Make sure you communicate with your baby through touch:
Physical touch makes the child feel safe and promotes good communication with them. This can be done by gently caressing and holding them close to your chest so that they can listen to your heartbeat and get used to your smell. This boosts their confidence in you and encourages their brain development as confirmed by scientific studies.
5. Always show love to your child:
Showing love to the child leads to the release of the neuropeptide in their brain, which helps form feelings, in addition to the child feeling that they are in a good condition when you smile at them and try to make some funny movements, such as imitating their movements or facial expressions. This enhances communication between you two.
6. Talk to your child frequently:
Talking to the child strengthens the relationship between you and helps them develop their language and learning skills. For example, when you change their clothes, talk to them, such as: “Come on, I will change your clothes and get you new clothes”, or when you change a nappy, say: “You will be clean now”. In addition, you can read stories to them or sing songs that are nice and comfortable for them to hear, even if they could not understand them.
7. Make time to spend with your child:
In case you work long hours and cannot participate much in the care of your child, you must organize your time carefully to find a daily time to devote to sitting with your child, getting to know them, and watching their movements because these moments allow you to establish a good relationship with them and to understand them well.
8. Ask for help if necessary:
Do not hesitate to ask about everything that you do not know about the care of the newborn, whether by asking a specialized person, a family member, or close friends, and if someone offers to help you, you can refuse or accept, depending on the situation, like helping you to buy baby supplies, for example.
It is important to agree between the spouses regarding receiving assistance from others, as the matter must be with the consent of both parties so that the matter does not cause tension in the marital relationship as a result of the interference of others in their private affairs.
9. Cope with sleep deprivation:
Often in the first year after a child is born, parents will only sleep when their child sleeps, and during the night the child may wake up several times; therefore, it is necessary to sleep when the child sleeps, even if it is early, in preparation for frequent awakening during the night.
10. Learn to deal with a crying baby:
A newborn child has no way of expressing their needs other than screaming and crying. You may find it difficult at first to adapt and get used to this situation, but after a period of time you will be able to know the reasons for crying if it is hunger, pain, or other reasons.
11. Prepare yourself to deal with crises in the marital relationship:
Despite the feelings of happiness that the arrival of a child brings, several problems may occur between the spouses as a result of the tension that accompanies how to deal with the child, in addition to exhaustion and fatigue resulting from lack of sleep; therefore, it is necessary for both spouses to understand each other, maintain honesty in their relationship, and try to talk about everything that bothers them to find mutually satisfactory solutions.
It is best to try to find some time to be alone at home, or to go outside and do activities that help relieve stress, so that you can do your new role properly.
12. Anticipate surprise visits all the time.
At this stage, family or close friends rush to help you and check on the baby’s health. These visits may be joyful, but they bring anxiety and tension if you are not used to them. Some parents prefer to organize a small party after birth so that they invite all those close to it in order to avoid embarrassment resulting from unexpected home visits.
13. Remember that we all make mistakes:
Some people may resort to reading many books related to dealing with the baby and watching programs related to this topic, but the practical experience is different. Not everything you have learned can be applied to your child, and the situations you might encounter are unpredictable because the nature of children is different; therefore, experiences are different and there is no specific rule for raising a child. It is normal to feel tired and want to take a break, and it is normal to make mistakes in some situations or feel incompatible with your child and your inability and incompetence to deal with them.
There is no need for you to feel guilty at all, and remember that we all make mistakes, but the important thing is to realize where we went wrong and to correct the mistake. Also, it is essential that you do not compare your child to others because children grow at different rates. Some babies walk when they are 9 months old, and some at 14 months old, so do not feel incompetent. In both cases, the child is in good health.
In conclusion:
You may think that you have a lot of time in the coming days to spend with your child, but you should not delay. Rather, you must follow every moment of their growth and watch everything they do and look at them while they sleep and eat because the days pass very quickly and children grow up quickly, so enjoy the new phase of your life, and try to document the beautiful moments by taking souvenir photos and shooting videos. These moments are very precious and will not be repeated and will give you energy for your next days that may be more tiring. Fatherhood is a journey full of love and fatigue.
Add comment