Note: This article is taken from the blog post by Denise R. Green, in which she tells us the correct way to interrupt someone else's speech.
He took the feedback seriously and stated he would thank everyone for their feedback and assure them he wouldn't interrupt again. I informed him that I didn't say he shouldn't interrupt; rather, I actually wanted him to do so, just in a different way.
The Positive Side of Interruption
I recently watched an interview where the interviewer said he was interrupting the speaker out of pure love and meant it. He wanted to know more about the concept she had just presented because he was so curious about it.
If handled properly, interruptions can strengthen bonds and advance understanding. However, it has the opposite effect when handled incorrectly.
Two Inappropriate Ways of Interruption:
1. Completing Sentences
Remember how you felt when someone interrupted you to complete your thought? If it was someone close to you, maybe you felt like you both understood each other well. However, you may have thought the person interrupting you in a heated conversation or at work was impatient, rude, and didn't know how you really felt.
2. For Self-Talk
Perhaps someone interrupted you and then jumped into the conversation while you were telling a story about a difficulty you were facing. Then, they said that they had been in the same situation and started talking for several minutes about their past.
Of course, I'm not saying that you shouldn't intersect when you find common ground; just do it moderately. Sharing common things or your own mistakes can improve relationships, so focus on that.
Four Reasons to Intersect a Conversation Meaningfully
Asking questions is essential if you want people to think you're inquisitive and engaged. Frequently, you'll need to intersect to make space for your question, particularly if your conversation partner is a talker.
Therefore, intersect:
1. To ensure that you understand the concept
Like saying, "Excuse me, but let me make sure I understand. It seems that the issue that we are trying to solve is..."
2. To help them clarify their thoughts
Like saying, "I apologize for interrupting; I just want to make sure I understand. It seems that your goal is... and your greatest fears are... Did I understand that correctly?"
3. Because you are genuinely curious
"Wait, what do you mean by going through a difficult time?" Or, "Wait a minute, how did you know they were bored during your meeting?" or "Wow, what a great idea! Can we go back to that one? You just gave a really fascinating explanation. How did you arrive at this judgment?"
4. To encourage a productive conversation
Interrupting a conversation is sometimes the best way to get it back on track. Meetings that aren't strategically interrupted with skillful statements can be a waste of time, like "It appears we've raised a different topic than the meeting's goal.
Would you be interested in carrying on this conversation later?" or "We apologize for disturbing you, but we have some people we need to talk to and time is running out." "I apologize for the interruption, but I wanted to make sure I addressed your question before my next meeting starts in five minutes."
Four Steps to Intersect a conversation Meaningfully
1. Self-Reflection
Reflect on your behavior when you interrupt someone else for at least a day. Commit to thinking about it after important conversations—both personal and professional ones. Here are some notes to consider:
- When and who did you interrupt?
- Was it a purposeful action or just a habitual response?
- What were the underlying emotions? (e.g., impatience, annoyance, curiosity)
- How did the other person respond?
2. Encourage Others to Provide Feedback and Support
- Tell the people who matter most in your life—at work or home—that you are aware of this annoying habit and that you are making an effort to cut it back. You'll become more self-aware and capable of controlling it with this recognition. Therefore, let them know that you intend to intersect purposefully to deepen your understanding, preparing them to see your interruption as well-intentioned and attentive.
- Encourage them to alert you when you rudely interrupt. Even if they don't, they will value your openness about your vulnerability. However, people who are brave enough to alert you will take pleasure in helping you. When they do, thank them and try your best the next time, instead of getting defensive.
- Since people don't suddenly change their habits overnight, it's normal to become impatient and interrupt. However, when this happens, apologize and encourage them to continue. Following an earnest apology, people can be surprisingly understanding.
Since it makes you feel embarrassed, you might be tempted to skip the apology step. Don’t worry; studies have demonstrated that people tend to pay attention to things they are accustomed to. It's unlikely that they'll notice and value the positive changes in you unless you explicitly tell them that you're doing something differently.
3. Follow-Up and Review
After working on effective interruption, follow up in a few weeks with the same people to find out their notes. Don't guess; ask them directly. You can remind them that you are trying to interrupt respectfully by attempting to listen better and with greater curiosity.
Ask for future feedback because most people find it strange to assess your past performance. This allows them to think more imaginatively and enjoy telling you about their positive future vision.
4. Enjoy Your New Reputation
Enjoy your newfound reputation as a person who enhances listening skills and is excellent at purposeful intersections.
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