For clarification, we are not just talking about success at work, but we are talking about success in life in general and how your core values relate to your personal sense of self-worth, relationships, the level of joy and satisfaction.
If you want to live a satisfying and worthwhile life, you must be clear about what is right and what is wrong for you according to your personal code of conduct, and this is what forms the foundations of your core values.
Justification negatively affects internal conflict:
When we want something in life, we justify our actions and behavior that are inconsistent with our deep sense of what is right or wrong, and we may not even realize that we are doing it, or we may underestimate the situation and tell ourselves it's no big deal.
The problem is that we have created a conflict between our core values and our actions on a much deeper level, and if we allow ourselves to continue without fixing the problems we face, sooner or later this internal conflict will undermine our efforts, and we will be forced to compensate.
The internal conflict takes away our joy:
How can we compensate? We can compensate for it in many ways, we may end up damaging our own success, we may overcompensate in an attempt to get rid of our own internal upset, and even if we manage to succeed on some level, the success we achieve will be hollow, lacking any real sense of joy and satisfaction.
Regardless of how this is done, an exceptional life of joy and internal harmony will only be possible if we respect our core values and act within the bounds of personal codes of conduct.
Getting to know your true self:
Before we start setting goals or choosing a direction for our lives, we need to align with our personal core values and be clear about what is acceptable and what is not. This means we need to spend some time knowing who we are and what we represent.
This may seem easy, but it doesn't stop there. As you can see, in order to go beyond our tendency to justify our behavior, we need to find out why we feel things are right or wrong. Why do we feel it is acceptable to do something when it is not acceptable to do another? What are the core values that influence these feelings?
Creating a long list of rules is not the best way to deal with this. The best way is to make a short list of guidelines that support our core values, which can be applied to every aspect of our lives. I will clarify the difference between rules and principles.
Rules vs. principles based on core values:
Thousands of new rules, laws, decrees, and regulations are added to law books annually in an attempt to regulate people's behavior and how they treat each other. If we compare written laws with the guiding principle, which is often referred to as the "Golden Rule", it boils down to that we must treat people the way we want them to treat us, so we see that it is a very simple principle and has amazing power.
If everyone followed that principle, we wouldn't need all those rules and laws, and it would obviously be almost impossible to convince too many people to live by some principle. However, we're not talking about those other people, but we're talking about just one person, and that person is you.
Solving the problem of internal conflict:
One of the most valuable things you can do for yourself is creating a list of 3-5 guiding principles for your life. These principles will allow you to live in harmony with your core values and align your actions with your true self, and doing so will help you avoid the consequences of living in an internal conflict situation.
This is such an important concept that I spoke of in my book entitled "Find Your True Self" to teach you how to create your own list of guidelines for internal harmony. This list provides you with a measure from which you can measure your thoughts, words, and actions. Living in harmony with your core values and standards helps you feel satisfied with everything you do in life.
In conclusion:
If you are ready to discover your core values and passion and establish a deeper connection with your true self, it means you are ready to find your true self.
Add comment