Sometimes, you find them very receptive to what you’re saying or suggesting, while other times it appears they’re just not interested. Perhaps the mystery eludes you.
Is it something with the way you look, the way you speak, or the way you carry yourself? It might be all three, but there’s actually a very specific reason that explains the discrepancy in your interactions. It’s called body language.
If you already have some awareness or understanding of what body language is, count yourself lucky. You’ve got a leg up on over 90% of the living population.
Now, the question is: how do you make body language work for you? In other words, what are the ways you can use it to influence others?
This is what we will discuss in our article, and it’ll serve you well if you start applying some or all of the concepts here. Let’s see what we have!
1. Pierce Souls With A Smile:
Your smile says a lot about you. A confident smile signals to everyone that you’re a trustworthy, hardworking, and reliable person. A smile that turns into a smirk can also reveal much. Maybe you’re a joker, the life of the party, or a sinister individual.
Either way, maintaining your smile is the first body language step you need to take to affect others. It’s really simple.
People like positivity. They like being away from their mundane, problem-ridden lives for even a brief moment. A smile is a way of saying that everything is alright in the world, even if evidence points to the contrary.
That’s not your issue. Your priority is to make people feel good, and your smile is an excellent way to do it.
If you do this right, you’ll find yourself making friends with everyone easily. It’ll be much easier to break the ice when approaching someone, or when someone approaches you, if you smile.
So, your goal now is to get into the habit of smiling. Do it in front of a mirror if it’s uncomfortable. Once that’s accomplished, use it on people and hypnotise them to do your bidding!
2. Mirror-Match to Better-Match:
Mirror-matching is a technique used to keep everyone on the same level when it comes to body language.
For example, if the person in front of you appears fidgety, you can make life easier for them by sharing your own version of what’s fidgety. Of course, don’t be condescending, and don’t make it into a joke.
It’s far too easy to go overboard with this and make the other person feel even more awkward. Your matching is a way to let the other person feel comfort and acceptance.
This technique can also be applied to matching your tone of voice to what the person in front of you is doing and matching your emotions to theirs as well.
Again, use this to empathise with others. The rewards for doing this are great. People love it when their feelings are validated. They love it even more when someone expresses understanding of their awkward moments when talking too fast or appearing shy. It’s human, and it’s relatable.
3. Power Postures for Greater Authority:
Any position where your body fills up more space is a good one to have when you want to appear more dominant or in control of a situation. Power postures vary from the very masculine/feminine to the overly exaggerated and clownish.
Strive to do the former, not the latter.
Some popular power postures that you can try in the right social context are:
- Clasping your hands behind your head and putting your feet up on a desk or table in a scissor position.
- Standing with your legs wide open and hands on hips.
- Standing on your feet, hands and fingers spread, and arms straight and wide apart on a table or desk when giving a speech or a presentation.
Basically, in any position where you’re telling someone, “I know what I’m doing.” This will give you more confidence, release more performance-enhancing hormones, and kill weak body language.
People tend to intuitively respond better to someone who speaks from a position of authority. Don’t be surprised if people begin to follow your suggestions more or listen to you speak more.
It’s all in your body posture!
4. Handled Devices Kill Your Magic:
Research shows that speaking when you’re sitting behind a desk, with a laptop or desktop in front of you, can be a powerful body language tool in its own right.
The opposite, however, occurs when you’re standing and walking while carrying a smaller device, such as a phone or tablet.
For some reason, if you carry these devices while talking to someone, it’s hard to get noticed. People begin zoning out when they see you carrying one of these devices, and even worse, they might think you’re not listening or ignoring them.
Like it or not, the size of your device and the body position you take when using it have a LOT of unintended consequences on people around you.
To avoid such situations, put the phone or tablet away when standing or walking. If you want to use them, use them in positions where your body language is more favourable.
5. Gesture More!
Gesturing might be something embarrassing, yet it’s an unbelievably powerful tool to influence others.
Your hand gestures, facial gestures, and even your body gestures all have a major impact on how people respond to you. When giving a presentation, people are more likely to listen to you if you move around and do something with your hands and fingers.
When you’re sitting, move your hands again! Avoid sitting still like a statue. The key to gesturing is to make it meaningful. Don’t just gesture for the sake of it, or you risk appearing clownish or weird.
The most recognisable gesture of them all is the thumbs up. It’s simple, it’s effective, and it works like a charm. People use the thumbs up when they want to express agreement with or acceptance of something with full enthusiasm.
It’s one of those gestures that’s hard to NOT get right. On the other hand, some gestures require you to adapt them to the situation at hand.
For example, shrugging your shoulders when speaking about a serious issue that you want people to participate in solving is great. It persuades others to believe in your cause.
Shrugging your shoulders when someone is crying or feeling sad is not. It signals that you don’t care or don’t understand how bad their circumstances are.
Gesture wisely!
In Conclusion:
Our quick tour of the most influential body language techniques comes to a close. We hope you got something useful out of all that we discussed.
Body language is not just a way for you to feel good about yourself. It’s a way to make others feel good as well, and it can be your secret weapon to invade their minds with your own ideas, perspectives, and beliefs.
Obviously, invading in this context means bringing people to your side, not literally brainwashing them.
Watch your posture, gestures, smile, the kind of device you carry, and be aware of others’ body language. The amazing results will keep you motivated to improve your body language even more.
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