Note: This article is by Ian Silverness, who tells us about his experience living without the Internet.
That's exactly what I did for three years while living in Spain. It turned out to be one of the most life-changing decisions I've ever made. The most critical part is that you don't have to ditch the internet to understand what I did.
Ideas for getting off the internet and connecting with others
Here are some ideas I followed to disregard the internet and connect with others:
1. Use small talk to ease the embarrassment
Whenever I was out somewhere or participating in an event, I would either take out my phone and pretend to be busy or rush to eat as an excuse not to talk to anyone. It wasn't long before I discovered this tendency to avoid conversations and decided to do something about it.
I discovered that service workers, servants, waiters, etc., did not scare me when talking to them and gave me the enthusiasm and confidence to start conversations with others.
Since the risks of talking to them were low (it is perfectly normal to talk to individuals working in services, and you can even ask funny questions or try talking on different topics with them), I was constantly talking to them and becoming more comfortable talking to strangers. That was the significant “trick” I used to improve my conversations with people, which made me more open-minded.
I also have friends who work in my neighborhood, and we have conversations on the street whenever I go out.
2. Spend more time outdoors
I tried a bunch of new hobbies. It was like throwing darts. I joined sports teams, tried dancing, practiced yoga, exercised in the park, played chess with the elderly in public squares, and tried meditation.
I only continued practicing one or two hobbies, but I was still in touch with the people I met through playing chess and dancing classes. That helped me find balance in my life. The more time I spent outside my apartment doing some tasks, the more people I met and the more invitations I received to go out with them again.
3. Never being pushy to spend time with others
We all know people who always have time to spend with you and nothing to do, so they keep asking you about your plans. Don't be that person. When you don't have Internet access, it's tempting to want to spend time with someone every day. You have nothing else to do, and you often ask everyone you meet to spend time with them. So here are two great ways to deal with this without looking miserable:
Expand your friendship circle
Maybe you spend time with friends you've met through post-workout yoga, with that girl or guy you met at the coffee shop, or with your coworkers once or twice a week. But be careful not to be the one constantly talking to everyone and asking about their plans.
Avoid asking too many questions
When we meet people for the first time, we ask a lot of questions, but instead, try to ask profound questions about what the other person cares about and why. always ask “why” or “how did this happen?” This is the secret of communicating with people. make room for your question, and share your opinion and experience so that the conversation is not unbalanced.
4. No need to go to parties to meet people
Whether you're looking for a partner or only want to make friends, it's easy to go partying to form relationships. I've discovered that when I do fun things during the day and build friendships and relationships along the way, then I don't have to go to these places to make friends.
I've been able to connect with people and establish lasting relationships. Don’t get me wrong, parties are great, but with my social life upside down, I no longer need to meet new people in places like these; it's just doing great activities.
Practical steps
- Choose a hobby or activity you have always wanted to pursue, research the best times and locations to practice it, and set a reminder on your calendar.
- Start practicing the activity.
- Talk to one or two people either when you enter directly or minutes after the end of the class.
- Repeat.
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