Your high EQ indicates your ability to recognize and control your own emotions and those of others, which is a great trait employers seek. Emotional intelligence doesn't just help you get a job; it is a fundamental condition in the workplace, as 58% of success factors are attributed to it.
Four habits of emotionally intelligent people
If you want to measure or improve your emotional intelligence, check out the following four habits of emotionally intelligent people:
1. They pause for a moment
Employees with high EQ don't react to situations without pausing and assessing them, even during high energy or stress. A short break allows them to review what is happening objectively and prevents them from saying or doing something impulsively.
When they pause, they consider the following:
- How does the other person feel? Are they anxious, angry, upset, stressed, or disappointed?
- How do I feel?
- What can I do to make us both feel better?
- If I can't do anything, can I say something to calm the other person?
Pausing helps you respond appropriately instead of saying something you will regret later.
2. They ask many questions
Asking many questions is one of the best ways to determine how someone feels. Emotionally intelligent people use questions to make the people they are talking to feel comfortable so they become more willing to open up and share.
Here is an example:
- A: Hello, how are you doing?
- B: All is well. We're trying to finish this presentation before we display it at the conference.
- A: Good. The conference will be held in just two days, right? Did you encounter any obstacles?
- B: It was difficult to get all our team members in the same room simultaneously. Everyone did their tasks independently in separate times, but the overall work could have been more consistent in the end.
- A: This seems difficult. Did you succeed in everything?
- B: Yes, eventually, but learning... (continues narration) took some time.
When you ask and listen to your colleagues, you'll be astonished at how willing they are to be sincere and effortlessly honest with you.
3. They think
People with high EQ intuitively understand the importance of analyzing their past emotions and actions to help them become more aware and concerned in the future.
For example, when they return home in a bad mood, they don't put what happened out of their minds and lie down indifferently. Instead, they take some time to reflect on what is bothering them and why.
To learn this habit, schedule 3-5 daily sessions to do a “mood check” for yourself. Choose the most prominent emotions you are experiencing and identify which factors triggered them.
You'll notice patterns over time, such as: "Writing an article before noon makes me more focused throughout the day" or "Talking to Jack makes me anxious." You can then optimize your life in terms of these patterns.
4. They empathize
Intelligent coworkers constantly put themselves in others' shoes. This approach makes it easier to understand the reasons behind their colleagues' actions and respond appropriately.
Let's say your manager walks up to you, looking nervous, and starts asking you questions about how the project they gave you yesterday is going. Here, you have two options:
- Do you get defensive immediately?
- Do you remind yourself that a key employee has just quit and your manager has to find a replacement, on top of already dealing with a stifling workload?
The second response is more likely to enable you to stay calm and take control.
If you fail to find any reasons that might make someone angry, think about how many things you deal with that your manager knows nothing about. Everyone has enough problems in their life.
Over time, you will learn to be more emotionally intelligent. As a result, you will become happier and make others feel better.
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