4 Effective Ways to Control Anger

However, this method is not useful and is not recommended except for the sake of humor or entertainment, though it seems attractive to people who are naturally irritable or to ordinary people who go through provocative daily situations. We all feel angry, but there are some lucky people who are kind and calm and rarely get angry.

Silence and doing nothing is better than violent expression by screaming or throwing things. Anger is an innate and natural feeling, but it is definitely classified as a negative emotion. Chronic anger can lead to serious repercussions on people’s health and is of no use. On the contrary, it can destroy people’s happiness and their relationships with others when it escalates and gets out of control, just like any addiction in which reason and logical thinking are absent. The most important thing to learn is to calm oneself when angry, preferably before it intensifies, by understanding the reasons that led to it, which are thoughts and beliefs that can be controlled or changed.

Basic concepts

The best way to manage anger and reduce its negative effects is to deal with it proactively through effective methods that distract your attention from the causes of anger and help you maintain calm, such as getting enough sleep and then imagining a scene that helps you relax, in addition to exercising, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation methods. The most important procedure that many ignore is monitoring emotions and defusing anger before it flares up. These procedures are general, and work in most cases, and anything less than that requires more precise psychological methods to deal with anger.

4 Effective ways to control anger

Here are 4 effective ways to control anger:

1. Leaning back

Sit leaning back at an angle of 30 degrees for five minutes as a quick and sure solution. You can also use the verbal description of feelings, such as saying: “I feel angry.” This may seem ridiculous, but calling feelings by their names moves them out of the framework of emotional chaos and places them under the rule of reason and logic. This then helps reduce the escalation of anger and getting out of control. Sometimes, it is difficult to sit and relax amid a heated argument at work. This will also make you appear strange and out of touch with reality and may not achieve the desired results for restoring calm and balance, even if you are alone. Therefore, other new options must be considered.

2. Ensure that assumptions are correct

You must ascertain the truth of the reasons that ignite your anger to avoid regret later. Every person has gone through situations in which they regretted their anger over unworthy things.

A common justification for getting angry at it is: “They did it on purpose,” “It's their fault,” “They shouldn't have done it,” or “I have every right not to tolerate it anymore.”

Remember that the main goal is to accomplish something or solve a problem. Anger will only make the situation more tense and more difficult to manage, and even if you think you are right in your anger, it will not help anything. Otherwise, this mentality will cause others to alienate you and cause you to be unable to build strong social relationships.

People who are always angry use another justification: “I couldn’t control myself.” But think a little: Would they really be able to control themselves from being angry in front of their boss? Or in front of an armed man?

Now is the time to address the roots of anger and control it before it gets out of control and you lose your mind after discussing general and basic concepts.

3. Challenging irrational beliefs

Often, your reaction and feelings towards an event are linked to your thoughts and beliefs and not to the event itself. For example, if someone puts a gun in your face, you will tremble with fear, but once you realize that it is a water gun, the fear will disappear automatically. The reason is that your internal beliefs change. Another example is when someone acts foolishly, you will feel angry because you believe everyone should behave decently.

That inconvenience is unacceptable to you, but what if your thinking was as follows: “I like things to go the way I want, but real life is not like that, and it is better to give others a second chance. So, they may go through difficult times, and that's the case with everyone."

When you are angry, the most important thing to do is to investigate the hidden belief that caused you anger. Is it logical or not?

For example, annoyance at the actions of others cannot be a logical reason for anger because these situations will always occur, and you will have to deal with them. It is logical to accept that others differ from you in style and manner of behavior, and then your feelings of anger and frustration in those situations will decrease greatly.

No one can control everything in life, and using the word “should” is like an illusion or clinging to a beautiful dream after waking up and seeing reality. Your expectations are the ones that control your reactions, so do not expect life always to go the way you want. Otherwise, you will remain in a constant state of anger and resentment.

The solution is acceptance and submission; the word submission differs from surrender. For example, being exposed to inappropriate behavior does not mean that you stand idly by. You can stand up for your rights and do what is right calmly and wisely while anticipating that such things will happen occasionally. When you are serious about examining the beliefs that cause you anger, you will often find that it is one of the following possibilities:

• “I have to do everything in the best possible way. Otherwise, I am a failure and a bad person.”
• “Others must treat me as I like. Otherwise, they are bad people and deserve to be punished.”
• “Life must be fair and easy for me to live.”

With a quick glance, you will realize that they are illogical beliefs and contain a love of control over things that are, by nature, beyond human control. Even if your goal is noble and you want to achieve justice in this life, the Lord does not burden a soul with more than it can bear. Rather, it will reflect negatively on you if you try to impose control over things beyond your ability.

Try to replace words that indicate imposition or control, such as: “must” or “should,” with words that are more flexible and accepting, such as: “I like, I would like, I prefer,” and you will see the positive effect through your happiness and psychological peace.

4. Cognitive reappraisal

Anger limits a person's ability to think and pushes them to win a clash or confrontation. This is why you see politicians in a constant state of anger. They cling to their ideas and are convinced that they are right. However, in ordinary life, this decline in intellectual abilities drains a person's strength and makes them unable to get rid of their anger even after analyzing and processing the hidden beliefs causing it.

The cognitive reappraisal technique aims to help people expand their perspectives, replace unhelpful patterns of thinking and evaluation, and create new, more positive ways and perspectives in interpreting situations whose causes may be unknown. For example, what if you are angry with someone you think is foolish? Then you learned that his mother died yesterday?

There is no doubt that your reaction to him will become less severe, and then this tension will turn to calm and peace. As for responding to the insult in kind, more is needed to solve the problem. You can also evaluate the situation from another person’s point of view. For example, imagine that your wise friend is in your situation. What will his reaction and actions be?

Trying to find justifications for the actions of others does not mean giving up. Rather, the goal of these techniques is for your reaction to be more positive and wise so that you protect yourself from the negative influences of feelings of anger and frustration, but they do not have to be 100% correct. You can also re-evaluate the situation by changing people and times. For example, ask yourself: How would you deal with the situation if the person opposite were your best friend? How will you evaluate the importance of the matter after ten years? Would you be satisfied with your reaction?

Reevaluation is a very effective method through which you will learn that a simple change in how you speak can extinguish the flame of anger and make your dealings with others calmer and more peaceful.

Summary of the above

1. Basic concepts

Venting anger will not help, and the effective way is to deal with it proactively through methods that help you control anger and maintain calm, such as adequate sleep, imagining relaxing scenes, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation techniques.

2. Leaning back

As a quick and effective solution to reduce the exacerbation of angry thoughts.

3. Ensure that assumptions are correct

Before anger escalates into an uncontrollable state, you must ascertain the truth of the reasons before you say something that you may regret later.

4. Challenging irrational beliefs

Find the irrational beliefs that cause you to anger, which often express an internal tendency to control and assert control, such as: “Life should go exactly the way I want,” and replace it with a more flexible and accepting outlook: “I would prefer people to be nice, but I know that this will not happen all the time.”

5. Cognitive reappraisal

Try to see the positive side of every disagreement with others, then see it as an exercise in controlling your feelings or anger, and try to excuse others before you get angry at their actions.

Love, like hate, may arise from the first acquaintance, but your expression of this feeling must be very precise. What you say has a major role in shaping your image of life and people. Therefore, your feelings and criticism must be directed at actions and deeds, not the people themselves.

Linguists have found that the feeling of anger is more accurate and less severe when it is directed at actions rather than at people. Also, telling someone that you are upset about an action they did rarely leads to a problem. This is unlike personal judgments that cause severe disagreements, which are often hasty and wrong; this applies to everyone, such as close ones, co-workers, and new people.

In conclusion

Anger is difficult to deal with. It is one of the strong feelings that gives a strong surge of self-confidence and intolerance and makes you repeat phrases that you love to hear, such as: “I have the full right, and they are completely wrong, and I am not at fault for that.

” This sudden change in thinking should be a reason for doubt, reflection, and an attempt to reform feedback through the methods mentioned in this article.