Note: This article is by Darius Foroux, who talks about how to deal with bad people.
For example, Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor who ruled from 161 to 180 and was the most powerful man on earth, said: “People are our priority. It is our duty to treat them well and tolerate them.” However, things are a little bit different in real life, as most of us encounter bullies, scoundrels, and disrespectful people.
In other words, bad people are everywhere, but Robert Sutton, author of The Asshole Survival Guide, is committed to changing that. Bad people in the workplace are a serious problem. They cause anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and high blood pressure, and they have bad relationships with their families and partners.
I've dealt with bad people at work in the past, too. To be honest, there were days when I hated going to the office. So, after successfully dealing with bad people, I would like to share three practical tips that can reduce stress.
3 Tips for Dealing with Bad People
1. Don't judge people
Someone might be going through a difficult time, have family issues, or skip breakfast before leaving the house. All of these things affect our mood. So, if they are not bad, do not rush to judge. Be understanding of others' behavior.
Ignoring a bad situation is fine and acceptable, but if someone is always bothering you or others, they can be labeled as a bad person. By understanding basic human psychology, you will be able to perceive this more.
Most of the things we do are human nature. Most of the time, we take things personally and rush to judge. If you understand human nature and don't take every situation personally, it will make life easier for you and your co-workers.
2. Quit if the values in your work environment are different from your own
“I believe in quitting,” author Sutton wrote. I agree with that, but make sure you can't change the situation first. If you have a problem with a co-worker, you can try to solve it. However, if you work in an environment full of hatred and gossip, it is unlikely that you will be able to change the culture unless you are a senior manager or CEO. In such cases, there is nothing wrong with quitting. In fact, this is what you have to do.
Quit if you work in an organization with different values than yours, but be practical, believe in yourself, and set a plan. Knowing the right time to quit is not that complicated; just look at your situation at work and make the decision. This is exactly what I did when I found out that I had different personal values than the company I worked for in the past.
3. Confront the bad person
Bad people at work are often good at handling office politics. Therefore, no matter what you do, avoid trying to beat them at their own game because they will always win. Even if you win, you don't want to become as bad as them. Author Sutton wrote, "Know that getting into a fight with bad people is risky. When they notice your efforts to stand up to them, they might get angry and take revenge on you."
If you decide to confront a bad person at work, think about your strategy. When it comes to conflicts, I recommend that you explain to the other party how you feel about the situation, no matter who you are confronting. It is impossible for them not to understand the feelings. Furthermore, make sure there's a third party in the same room when you confront a bad person. As Sutton told me in our interview, having good support at work makes a huge difference. No matter how prepared you are, conflict is tough, and I don't have a surefire strategy for winning.
Things you should never do
However, I can share some things you should never do:
1. Drifting behind reactions
I understand that some people make you angry, but never act based on your feelings. When you encounter a bad person, slow down and think about what to do next.
2. Aggressive confrontation
This behavior is simply unprofessional.
3. Calling them a bad person
This will only make things worse.
4. Revenge
This will make you a bad person, just like them.
5. Asking management for help
Be aware that HR staff are not your friends if you work for a company. Their responsibility is to protect the business's interests, not yours. The HR staff would undoubtedly dispute this, but that is their role. Do not take it personally, and do not anticipate their support.
In conclusion
While confronting an abuser at work is challenging, the outcome is worthwhile. You stand up for yourself when you confront a bad person, which will help you take control of your life. I firmly believe that nobody should ever experience victimhood.
So, defend yourself with pride and dignity. We will still have control over our careers, no matter what happens if we confront them. This is our life, and we must be accountable for it.
Add comment