That’s why effective communication between family members is something everyone should learn and master. It’s not magic. You just need to follow certain steps and acknowledge the fact that people are different, even if you share the same blood and live under the same roof.
Read on ahead and apply what you find here:
1. Listening Is Key:
Many times, misunderstandings are what lead to a breakdown in communication. Why does that happen in the first place? Because no one wants to listen.
So, the next time you're in an argument with a family member or you are unable to find common ground, calm down and simply listen!
By simply tuning yourself out of the stress of the situation, you'll see that your ability to find solutions to a problem has skyrocketed.
For example, suppose your brother wants to cook turkey for dinner. You two obviously love it, but you go about preparing the meal differently.
He wants to add onions and potatoes to the meal. However, you don't like onions and would prefer some other vegetable.
These small differences are what lead to arguments. Hence, you need to avoid that by calmly communicating your thoughts. You can apply this same thought process to communicate well in much more difficult situations.
Listening on its own can also be an effective medium of communication. A good example is when your significant other is tired from working all day and has come back home. They want to have a quick nap. You listen to their request and give them space to do just that.
Later, they might want to talk about what happened throughout the day. You can be there for them by NOT saying a word and simply actively listening to their story. This is an excellent way to communicate, despite what common wisdom might suggest.
Again, listening is the first thing we’re discussing in this article because it’s the building block for everything that comes next. Work on developing this skill as much as possible.
2. Try To Maintain Cordiality:
While there are many dysfunctional families out there where cutting ties seems to be the only option, there are many more where simply remaining friendly can help a lot.
A lot of siblings might get into fights over inheritance issues, perceived entitlement, or simply emotional baggage.
The same applies to the parents. They might get a divorce, find themselves in affairs, or any other type of situation.
There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to solving long-standing issues, but you can do your part and remain on good terms with your family as much as possible.
In fact, your display of vulnerability might help in settling an issue or at least lead to a good compromise for everyone.
Cordiality doesn’t mean suddenly forgetting about past grievances. It means you still respect a person enough to stay in contact with them and reach out when they need you.
3. Use Supportive And Positive Language:
No one likes a downer, especially when they’re going through life together. When around your family, this holds doubly true. Let’s say your spouse wants you to take care of grocery shopping. It helps a lot if you reply in a positive tone of voice.
Replying with, “Sure thing, hon! I’ll get us everything we need for the week.” is MUCH better than saying something like, “Oh, groceries again? Why don’t you do it this time? I’m tired as heck!”
Positive language is an area of study in and of itself, but for family communication purposes, you can apply it on a much smaller scale. For example, use supportive language when:
- A special occasion is just around the corner. You want to do something, but other family members want it done differently. This includes preparing for Thanksgiving, Eid, Christmas, or any other occasion. Be supportive and maintain good spirits as much as possible.
- Your child is struggling with academics. You know they can ace their exams and get high marks, but something is amiss. It helps a ton when your child sees you giving them high-fives and supporting them emotionally through your words. This will ease their anxiety and help them prepare better.
- Your husband is struggling to make ends meet. Maybe he was fired from his job, or his daily expenses have added up too quickly. The best thing to do here is to sit down with him and communicate. Support him through words and even actions if possible. This will help you both overcome the problem.
We could go on forever, but you get the idea. Emotions are contagious, and positive ones are no exception. The way to communicate effectively with family starts by being optimistic and seeing the bright side of everything.
4. Work On Your Emotional Intelligence:
The best way to avoid problems that stem from bad communication with family is to stop them from happening.
How? By developing emotional intelligence. This term has unfortunately become more of a buzzword in recent years, but it’s actually something quite powerful.
Emotional intelligence basically means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. It’s also referred to as empathy. Whatever the definition is, it’s a way to study a situation and work out a way to make things go well.
Moreover, it’s not some magical ability that some people have and others don’t. It can be developed like any other skill. You just need to be mindful of using it in the right situations.
It works on people, and your family will benefit a lot if you have it. Bonus points if you teach it to them as well. For instance, when you’re in a heated argument with your sister about politics, your EQ will allow you to determine the best way to proceed forward.
- It doesn’t make sense to throw the argument back in her face and start a hissy fit.
- It makes sense to see why she holds the opinions that she does.
- Do I agree with her or not? Should I even care? How do I avoid such discussions in the future?
These are the things that emotionally intelligent people think about when they’re in such situations. One way to solve the problem in the above example is to turn the political debate into a joke. Now, this might not always work, but you can at least steer the discussion in a more light-hearted direction.
The takeaway here is that emotionally intelligent people are strategic thinkers. They take other people’s thoughts and feelings into account, and this is something really important to do when you’re sitting around with family.
In Conclusion:
Yes, family is a sensitive topic, and effective communication within that context is complex.
This article has outlined some of the best ways to deal with bad communication between family members and achieve peace of mind.
Many times, family issues and misunderstandings can be solved by actively listening, taking action to reach a good resolution, and maintaining that for all time.
By applying some, or all, of the above, you can ensure that you and the rest of your family will remain on good terms, improve your relationship, or at least stay in contact with each other.
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