Note: This article is based on the work of Darius Foroux, in which he explains the reasons for failure and how to avoid them.
I did not meet a successful person in my life until I was twenty-four years old, as I grew up in a working-class family, and most of the people around me were not successful people. The first successful person I met was an entrepreneur in his forties, so when I started my first real business, he was one of my first clients.
When I met him, he was a little overweight, he had money he couldn't count, and was cheerful all the time, but he also lost his wife and the love of his life 5 years ago. Then, we became friends, and he told me that he had not overcome his misfortune until that time. However, despite his tragedy, his outlook on life was still positive, and he was still doing good things.
He cared about others, and even though my first company wasn't great, he gave me a chance to work with him, and he always said, "I'm just trying not to fail," and that was the first thing I learned from him. He said that you should study the factors that make you a loser, sad, broke, and fat, and then eliminate those things from your life.
I still follow this advice until this day. I like his concept of trying to avoid failure because there is no single meaning of success. The second best definition I learned from my favorite musician, Bob Dylan, is: “A man succeeds when he gets up in the morning and sleeps at night, and in between he does what he really wants to do.”
You may have read many articles discussing the habits of successful people. The problem with this type of article is that it gives you conditional promises. For example, "Eat three eggs with meat, wash your hair with soybeans, do 10 push-ups, and read positive statements, all at the same time."
We must abandon this way of thinking that dictates that we have to do certain things in order to become successful or happy. It leads to the exact opposite because it will make you do what others do and live as they live. I may not know much about success, but I am sure this is not a success.
10 Habits You Should Avoid
Here is a list of things that we should not do, and if you have one of these bad habits, do not worry, as no one is perfect. However, if you have two bad habits, you should worry, but if you have three habits or more, you should start changing because I'm sure you don't want to be a loser.
1. Permanent dispersion
One of my favorite books is Greg McKeown's Essentialism, in which he shares the story of meeting his former classmate years after his graduation. His colleague told him he was switching jobs and asked if he could help him. Twenty seconds into the conversation, the man received a text message and began looking at his phone and answering the message.
“Ten seconds went by, then 20, and I simply stood there while he kept texting,” McCune says. Then, after two minutes, he gave up and walked away. Don’t live your life in the future or the past lost in thoughts and worries. If this man had focused his attention on the present moment, Greg might have given him a great job recommendation.
2. Talking without taking action
It is much better to do something than to talk about it. In 2010, in a TED talk titled "Keep your goals to yourself," author Derek Sivers provided scientific evidence that talking about your goals will backfire.
We see this happening all the time in real life, and on social media. People say "I'm training for a marathon", and "I'm going to start my own company." The weird part is how people react to that, as they clap for you for announcing something, but saying you're going to run a marathon and actually running a marathon are two completely different things.
Certainly, but in your mind, these things are not so different. Derek Sivers says: “When you tell someone your goal and they praise it, psychologists have found that it’s called ‘social reality;’ that is, the mind is somehow deceived into feeling that you achieved your goal, and then because you felt so satisfied, you feel less motivated to do the effort.” So, be someone who does things, not someone who talks about them.
3. Spending time with failures
If you spend enough time with failures, you will become one of them, and you can generalize that to any kind of person. If you want to be fit, befriend fit people, as people draw energy from each other. It is better for you to befriend someone who asks you when you go to the gym than someone who invites you every day to go out and stay up late.
4. Hate everything
They hate successful people, but you have to be happy for the success of others. There is no need to be optimistic all the time, but you can be sober and positive at the same time, and give people some love. Failures hate things just because they exist. They say, “It rained this morning, my hair is all messed up, and I hate rain,” who hates rain?
It's okay to have a bad day, and we all get angry from time to time, but if you hate everything all the time, you're going to have a miserable life.
5. Procrastination
I once asked my university professor to extend the deadline for an essay, and he said to me, "I have no problem extending the deadline by a week, but would your essay be better if you submitted it a week from now?"
My answer was "no;" therefore, I worked with all my energy to finish the article on time. So, only delay your commitments if you will perform them later in a better way. What is the point of delaying something if the result is the same? Either do the job now or do it better later.
6. Not listening to others
Failures only love themselves. We all love ourselves, but failures only love themselves, and no one else. We listen to others because we care about them; otherwise, how can you show that you care? Everyone can hug you, but not everyone will call you to ask how you are. So, listen to others, ask them about their affairs, take an interest in them, and repeat it often.
7. Laziness
We all suffer from it; you may not feel like having dinner with your friends or buying a gift for your mother's birthday, all because you are lazy. So, be active, get up, and interact with your family and friends, as the beauty of life lies in new experiences.
When you are lazy, you do not give yourself the opportunity to try new things, and you will not treat everyone who loves you fairly.
8. Never learn
Learning is one of the most difficult things in the world. It is not surprising that many people do not read, never finish their studies, and do not learn from their mistakes. Learning is not easy, but we live in the most exciting times in history for those who want to learn.
Access to information has become easier than ever. In the past, if your father was a farmer, you had to become a farmer too. That's how it used to go. Now, you can become anything you wish, but all you have to do is to learn.
9. Lack of kindness
Some people think it's nice to be rude, but quite frankly, it's much nicer to be nice. You don't have to be a saint, but just be a nice person. So, try being nice, maybe you'll make some new friends, and if you're having a hard time figuring out cuteness, you probably aren't cool.
10. Giving up quickly
I've left the worst for last. If there's one thing you should learn from this article, I hope it's this: "Our greatest weakness is giving up, and the best way to ensure success is always to try again." Thomas A. Edison.
There is nothing I can add to that other than a few words: Never give up.
Add comment