Note: This article is by Darius Foroux, who explains his experience in finding inner peace.
It is a very precise concept that can be interpreted in many ways, and it is important when talking about non-attachment to avoid confusing it with detachment.
Writer and educator Joseph Goldstein, who is considered one of the first mindfulness meditation teachers in the United States, explains the difference between these two concepts.
He presents a series of lectures on the Waking Up app based on his meditation sessions. In a lesson titled “The Wisdom of Transience,” he talks about non-attachment and the importance of seeking it more than detachment.
As Goldstein describes it, the principle of non-attachment is based on the abandonment of everything that happens in life, including experiences, events, or ideas alike, and this is what distinguishes it from detachment. It is meant to be distancing yourself from something, and applying this concept will make a huge difference in your life.
Let me give you an example. When I began to learn about Eastern philosophy and the idea of ​​meditation, I thought that the way to freedom and happiness lies in distancing yourself from things, so when I faced something inconsistent with my values, I distanced myself from it and had discussions with some close people regarding philosophy and beliefs. I have always found myself explaining the ideas of Eastern philosophy to those who are not interested in them.
A few years ago, my friend commented that I spent so much time reading, but I didn't understand her intent. So, we had an extensive discussion about the importance of reading, which later became a heated debate program episode. She was strongly against reading while I was in favor of it.
I wanted to distance myself from the situation, but the more I tried, the more I got into the argument, until after a while, we got tired and agreed that I read more than normal people.
You will not get into an argument like this if you have a non-attachment mentality. Not being attached means letting things go unnoticed, simply acknowledging them, agreeing with the other's opinion, and being clear about what's on their mind. My friend simply wanted to discuss how to spend more time together on common activities.
Adopt a free mindset
When you are attached to certain thoughts and beliefs you may be trying to break free of, and you fail, they get too attached. That's why most people don't realize the benefits of practicing mindfulness.
Instead of distancing yourself from things, adopt a different mindset, which is to practice detachment, holding nothing, not even the things that you think are important. We all paint a mental picture of ourselves, and we often seek to protect it, for example, implanting this image in your mind: “I am an intelligent, considerate, and trustworthy person” and so on.
If you see yourself as a person who always takes into account the feelings of others, and someone describes you as mean, you may encounter a group of feelings and thoughts, and you will rush by instinct to prove otherwise, so you try to remove that trait from you by showing how much you consider the feelings of others.
When you train yourself not to get attached, you can simply get over the experience without making it too big. Meditating teaches you to watch your thoughts without reacting or making judgments. You just focus on the thought until it magically goes away.
This is how I go about my life as someone who experiences life, and doing so has helped me find inner peace over the years. If someone says something you don't like, review your thoughts and write down the action on them, and when your mind can't think and repeat the same thoughts that you hear about your future - let's say - don't react, and avoid feeding the thoughts that run through your mind.
When you don't hold on to something, you can live in peace, and that doesn't mean you don't react. If someone stole your things, you can still take them to court, or if you need help, you can ask for it aggressively.
In conclusion
Non-attachment is an important concept in our daily lives, especially when we tend to overreact. So, give it a try, and the next time you encounter something that is causing you inner turmoil, avoid giving in to the urge to fight it or distance yourself from it, and don't react at all, but just let it pass like a cloud on a stormy day.
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