However, people's perception of a kind person has changed. Many now view kindness as a negative trait and a personal flaw. We often hear sayings that portray kindness as naivety and assure that kind people are definitely losers, such as "Eat or be eaten" or "Kindness doesn't survive."
This change is because kind people often become vulnerable to others' exploitation. They prioritize others' interests over their own. For example, my friend started working at a new company. She treated everyone kindly, including her manager and colleagues. However, over time, she took on extra work and responsibilities without compensation.
Consequently, people must understand when to show kindness. In my opinion, kindness should be reserved for the family. It's important to assert your strong personality in social and professional contexts, as there are times when you must assert your influence based on your position. Continue reading to discover how to influence others and make them fulfill your requests.
How to Influence Others and Make Them Obey You?
We need to impose our control in many situations. Below are some tips that can be followed to help us influence others:
1. Value Yourself Highly
You cannot assert your opinions or control others if you don't respect yourself and value your own views. Those who despise themselves and show it to others by belittling their achievements and qualifications won't earn respect from their managers, colleagues, or even friends.
However, having a positive self-appreciation makes you a distinctive personality. It's the very essence of being alive and the first step toward influencing others. Appreciate your efforts and acknowledge each step forward you take in life. Life rarely goes as planned, so try not to obsess over your mistakes. We are all human.
It's better to accept responsibility for your errors, speak to yourself positively, and refrain from comparing yourself to other people. We all possess special qualities and are in the proper time and place. Embrace who you are, focus on the future, and confidently pursue your dreams. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to if you have the required desire.
2. Be Influential
To control others, one must master the art of charming and capturing their attention. Therefore, you should be influential. To do this, consider how you look on the outside. Keep your posture straight and avoid bending forward as you conduct yourself cleanly and nicely.
Keep your smiles light—too much laughter takes away from the significance of what you're saying, and a frown turns people away. When conversing with others, pay attention to your body language. Avoid excessive movement and quick glances at your phone when speaking to others. Show active listening and interest, prompting others to reciprocate when you speak.
Whether you are confident or not when talking about a subject, speak naturally and calmly. These specifics are essential for projecting confidence, which encourages people to comply with your requests.
3. Take Acting Lessons
Don’t be surprised by this suggestion. Many kind-hearted people who want to influence others attend acting classes. These courses teach you how to control your emotions and project a relaxed appearance. Also, they offer pointers on effective persuasive and communication strategies. By mastering these skills, your requests will seem logical and convincing without causing stress. However, keep it a secret.
4. Study Manipulative Personalities
Observe people around you—family, friends, coworkers, or even adversaries. There’s always some manipulator who consistently gets what they want. Consider such individuals as role models for mastering control over others. Pay attention to their communication style and how they request others. Try to emulate their behavior. You will improve over time if you regularly practice in front of a mirror.
5. Learn How to Read Others
There are different methods to control others because each of us has a unique psychological and emotional cover that is shaped by our strengths and weaknesses. A person's high degree of empathy is one factor contributing to their ability to respond to you.
This requires asking them very emotionally, and some respond because they fear feeling guilty due to previous punishment for disobeying their parents' requests. Here, you must make them feel as though they will undoubtedly regret it and that their conscience will torture them if they refuse to comply with your request by saying to them, "I am used to never getting help, and I am helpless and cannot walk alone, but I am forced to do so." It makes perfect sense to play the victim in front of those kinds of people.
Some others accept rational thinking and require evidence before agreeing to comply with your request. Therefore, you must be prepared to provide very convincing reasons for the request, away from manipulating emotions. This method is most suitable for dealing with bosses at work. You cannot complain to them about your family or emotional circumstances; instead, you must commit to work and ask them at the end of the day or during break time. Try to make your request seem as spontaneous as possible.
6. Set Clear Boundaries
This is a crucial point to prevent others from exploiting you, whether they are close to you or not. Boundaries are essential to avoid making others take you for granted. So, people should be cautious when dealing with you. If you make a request, the other party won’t hesitate to fulfill it unless they want to lose you.
For example, set boundaries with coworkers and managers stating that you will only complete your assigned tasks and that no one may ask you to do more work. Also, they shouldn’t inquire about your personal life unless you voluntarily want to talk about it.
7. Always Follow Through on Your Words
Earning respect is the first step towards controlling others. Therefore, it’s essential to follow through on what you say. No one respects a deceitful person. Keep your word when you promise, stick to deadlines, and be truthful when rescheduling or canceling an appointment. Even if it hurts, being honest is always preferable to lying.
8. Speak Only When Necessary
Impressive personalities avoid verbosity, superficiality, and pointless chitchat. They choose their words carefully, focusing on essential and meaningful communication. As a result, their statements are genuine and meaningful without being ironic.
9. Cultivate a Good Reputation
A positive reputation is fundamental for controlling others. It allows you to command respect, deter exploiters, dispel false rumors, and attract attention. Consider it a powerful tool that enhances your image in everyone’s eyes.
10. Avoid Negative People
Negative people can impact your personality by being sad, unlucky, or taken advantage of by others. Associating with them weakens your character, making you appear fearful of interacting with others or facing adversity.
People won’t respond positively to this type of personality. Instead, surround yourself with positive, happy individuals who radiate confidence and authority. Remember, emotions are contagious, like diseases.
11. Ensure Everyone Needs You
People tend to stick with you when they can always count on you for something. This guarantees their willingness to comply with your requests and facilitates controlling them. To achieve this, maintain your independence and avoid becoming overly dependent on others.
Discover your unique skills and talents that set you apart, and let others recognize their need for what you offer. Remember that freedom doesn’t necessarily mean distancing yourself from people; instead, they should rely on you to achieve their desires without hesitation.
12. Avoid Bias
Being biased toward one party or committing to a single side is unwise. Instead, remain neutral in conflicts and try to win both sides over if possible.
In Conclusion
We all aspire to become experts at controlling others because it prevents us from being taken advantage of and subjugated by others in our lives. Also, it gives us authority and respect. The control of others begins with self-love, appreciation, and the desire to appear attractive and charming to others by playing on external appearance and taking care of it.
Acting classes can help you learn how to control your emotions and avoid coming across as over-kind. Also, it's important to learn how to read people and set boundaries in your life. Maintaining your word and speaking infrequently will help you make your points seem compelling and significant.
Additionally, it's critical to avoid negative people and bias towards a particular party. Developing a positive reputation that sets you apart from others is essential, as it is the primary factor in creating a captivating impression of you.
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