Reality, however, proves that they're merely subjective viewpoints and personal interpretations of the world. Truths are neutral and objective, but we interpret them differently based on our individual circumstances, which causes distress.
Shaping Your Perspective
Your mind receives information from your five senses, processes it, and interprets it according to the beliefs you've built up over the years, often unconsciously blending into your personality. This belief system shapes your perspective on life and the reality you inhabit. Therefore, the first step to shifting your mindset is being fully aware of all the beliefs your mind adopts.
Note that your perspective shapes your reality and, consequently, your emotions. You can't convince anyone of something they haven't experienced firsthand. They say that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Meaning, no one can hurt you or impose their will upon you without your consent. Here's a brief story to help you understand:
Meet Jane and Sally, two close college friends. Dinner together every Friday night became a routine for them. However, Sally once called it off, saying she was very tired. That same night, Jane was out picking up supplies and she spotted Sally dining with another friend. Hurt and feeling betrayed, Jane hastily left, tears welling up in her eyes.
Jane couldn't shake the sight from her mind for days. She concluded that her friend wanted to end their friendship. She was plagued with anxiety, fearing the confrontation and how things would unfold when they met. When the time came, Sally explained that her sister surprised her with a visit on Friday, but due to her illness, they couldn't spend quality time together.
That's when the news hit. Jane realized her assumptions had led her down a painful, miserable path. Relief washed over her once she grasped the truth. As it turns out, misunderstandings and false perceptions cause lots of people to suffer for a long time, just like in our example.
Holding Onto What's Wrong Is a Waste of Time and Energy
Rough patches in life present opportunities for growth and development. The unpleasant emotions they entail bring opportunities for growth. Accept those emotions without judgment and consciously embrace them without rejection or resistance, and naturally, the pain will subside. Always remember that people have their own concerns and issues when you're in a tight spot. This will help you control your reaction and temper your anger, even if you're directly hurt.
When you give it more thought, you'll realize that these situations have taught you valuable life lessons, especially when they push you to face fears you've long avoided. The first step to gratitude is awareness because it will uncover the truth, set you free from fear, and help you manage your emotions and how they affect you.
Whenever you feel hurt or angry, ask yourself these questions to get through:
- What's the other party's take on the situation?
- Could their harsh childhood experiences be influencing their behavior?
- Can you sense the underlying primal need for love driving this behavior, regardless of the method?
- What if the other party were a child? What would you say to them to stop the pain?
- Most importantly, what did you learn from this experience?
- Did this experience reinforce a false belief that's hindering your growth?
It's safe to say that perspective shapes reality and, consequently, emotions. That's why being mindful of our beliefs and thoughts should be at the top of our list. Embracing others' perspectives, even if different from our own, improves our comprehension of the world and runs down the misery brought on by our misconceptions.
To Wrap Up
Keep in mind that life is a great teacher and that you can learn and grow from every hardship it throws your way. So, make the most of every experience, even if it's painful. In the end, you will have learned something that will improve your life.
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