Identify what serves you and what hinders you. If you remove the things that hinder your growth, you make room for the things that bring you happiness, and if you look up to personal growth, then you should focus on yourself. Here are five domains of personal growth and how to improve it.
1. Self-awareness:
People let their life's journey run its course. They show their reactions to what is happening with them,instead of responding to it rationally.
That's because the strategies they adopted in the past have become the basis by which they continue living their lives. So, most of the acquired behaviours during childhood remained the same, and they became confident in these strategies without awareness because they have succeeded in the past; That is, at least they helped them survive the difficulties of life at that time.
So, self-awareness will help you identify these automatic reactions and call them into question based on your personality. Now, in some cases you may see this completely suitable and harmless, and in other cases, you will realise the opposite because you will see that some of the choices that served you in the past are no longer in your best interest as an adult person. Some of these learned behaviours may be very toxic and then they will hinder you greatly in your professional life and relationships.
You should not judge yourself because you followed these behaviours more than you should. Also, do not regret that you used them in the past because they probably helped you get through some tough times. The trick is in accepting them as they are, being grateful for what you have done in the past, and choosing another way that will serve you now and in the future.
2. Taking control:
Humans love to be in control, or at least the idea of being in control of everything. It is an example of how the logical cognitive mind works. If you control events, you can protect yourself and you will be safe.
We are made to need safety. According to naturalists, this is the reason we are alive today, yet the evolution of the human brain makes us different from other creatures.
So, we no longer need to fear for our body safety as much as our ancestors did, and that does not mean we are free from fear and anxiety because anxiety is one of the most stressful conditions in the developed world.
One of the differences between fear and anxiety is that fear is based on reality and anxiety is not. So, we spend a lot of our time worrying about external factors and the future, but what matters to us is what we should focus on.So, what do we want to control ? And what do we really control?
The answer is to control ourselves, nothing more, nothing less. External factors are important in our lives, but the most important thing is how we respond to them,our conception of them, and the amount of power we give them. All this important work is going on within you. so,if you want to be in control of something, focus on your thoughts, beliefs, and values.
3. Acceptance:
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung says,“What we resist persists.” When we allow an event to disturb the peace of our lives, we are giving up on our power. It does not matter whether what annoys you is a person, a technical problem, or even an idea in your head. If you let it affect you negatively, you will lose control of your emotions.
Shirzad Chamine , the author of the book called Positive Intelligence, recommends that we deal with unwanted thoughts and perceptions the same way we deal with physical stimuli. For example, if you hold a pot by the stove and the handle is hot, you will put it aside immediately and the pain will disappear in about ten seconds as long as your pain threshold is not too high. So, why is it that when something happens to us we often worry about it for the rest of the day and maybe for several days? What happened and we can't do anything about it?
Why do we consume so much energy wondering what was the different thing that I could have done ? Why was this person so stupid? why was I so stupid? Why didn't I listen to my intuition? What was the thing that I could have done differently?
Some of these questions may lead, even though they are not useful, to positive behaviours rather than ruminations of sterile ideas.
For example, asking "Why didn't I listen to my intuition?" may lead you to listen to your intuition and your heart when making an important decision in the future.
Use the ten-second rule. Identify how you feel, such as frustration, anger, disappointment, blame, self-pity, or anything else.
Then focus on it for ten seconds,acknowledge it,respect it, and let it out of you. Keep your emotions without any negative feelings, as this will create space for positivity and practical solutions.
German teacher Eckhart Tolle recommends abandoning the perception “this happens to me " which will surely lead to self-pity and a feeling that you are a victim, which leads to the abandonment of our power.
As the historian Yuval Noah Harari said: “Pain arises from desire,and the only way to be completely free from suffering is to be completely free from desire, and the only way to be free from desire is to train your brain to experience reality as it is.
What matters is acceptance.It is a friend of peace. If you aspire to improve your areas of personal growth, do not refuse things. Accept them and move on with your life.
4. Knowing yourself:
How well do you know yourself? How does your perception of yourself compare with the way others see you?
It is said “I don't care what other people think of me.” How useful is it in terms of different areas of personal growth?
It can be tempting to give up our identity in order to gain acceptance from others.
Cultural factors, whether family or national factors, often limit your confidence to be yourself. If you want to know yourself, you have to search deeply and find your true self. Identifying your main values is a good way to get started because knowing your values consciously will empower you and boost your self-confidence.
German philosopher Axel Honneth wrote “Basic self-confidence has nothing to do with a high appreciation of an individual’s abilities as much as it has to do with the basic ability to express needs and desires without fear of being abandoned as a result.”
Axel uses this concept in the context of potential traumas that occurred in your childhood. So, through the examination either by yourself or with the help of a therapist or a coach, you can understand better how your reactions and perceptions of past events formed the person you are today.
You will have hidden beliefs in your mind that challenge so much of your potential, your self-esteem, and your happiness, so, highlight it.
By knowing yourself, you can determine where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there, and you will grow the person you are today in order to suit your aspirations and dreams.
5. Avoid knowing everything:
Accepting what you don't know is a part of the personal growth process. Humans seek solace in knowledge in order to feel comfortable, and the idea that knowledge provides security is, of course, a myth. Therefore, the ability to accept what we don't know is an important step in the journey of personal growth in our areas of life because it allows you to give up some things and to be confident, which can remove stress and anxiety.
Just giving up to everything that happens and may happen in the future is a liberating experience. When you stop consuming energy in futile efforts to "control" and "know", you will be amazed at how you can increase your physical energy levels.
In conclusion:
Awareness, inner control, acceptance, and true knowledge enhances your journey to improve different areas of your personal growth because you can only grow by knowing yourself.
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