It significantly impacts workplace performance, with individuals high in emotional intelligence often excelling and enjoying better well-being. Here are key methods to develop it.
Emotional Intelligence’s Parts
The concept of emotional intelligence was formulated by psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990. However, it gained significant traction following psychologist Daniel Goleman's publication of his bestselling book Emotional Intelligence in 1996
The emotional intelligence model, as proposed by Salovey and Mayer, consists of four parts:
- Accurately perceiving emotions in oneself and others.
- Using emotions to facilitate problem-solving.
- Understanding emotions, emotional language, and their conveyed signals.
- Managing emotions effectively to achieve set objectives.
Research indicates that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be cultivated. Emotional intelligence workshops have become a billion-dollar industry, demonstrating their effectiveness in elevating individuals' emotional intelligence and enhancing their overall performance.
Ways to Enhance Emotional Intelligence
In the following, seven ways to enhance emotional intelligence
1. Categorize Your Emotions
People often shy away from discussing their emotions, even though our feelings significantly impact every decision we make. Saying things like "I'm suffocating" often brings more comfort to many people than expressing their real emotions, which are often sadness or anxiety.
Practice categorizing your emotions using descriptive words like frustration, anxiety, and disappointment. Take moments throughout the day to check in with yourself, paying attention to your feelings even if you don't share them openly.
2. Understand How Emotions Influence Logical Thinking
Now that you've identified your emotions, consider how they might impact your thoughts and actions. If you're feeling sad, it could lead to a fear of rejection, potentially reducing your chances of success.
Conversely, when you are deeply enthusiastic about an opportunity, you might overestimate the probability of your success. Consequently, this eagerness could lead you to take risks without adequately considering the potential consequences or challenges ahead.
To make better decisions, you need to understand how your emotions influence your judgment. By doing so, you'll strike a balance between your logical and emotional perspectives, making you more prepared to make decisions.
3. Understand The Impact Of Your Emotions
At times, each emotion we go through can prove beneficial, while in other instances, it is less so. The very nature of emotions can influence us positively or negatively, depending on how we harness them.
After recognizing your emotions, assess if they're helpful or harmful at that moment. Anger may be useful in fighting injustice but detrimental in a workplace conflict. Similarly, sadness can be respectful when mourning a loved one, yet it becomes an obstacle when it hinders your aspirations.
If sadness seems to hinder you, work on managing this emotion. Experiment with coping strategies—try a short meditation for calmness or a walk around the neighborhood to uplift your spirits.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Emotions
Complaining about a colleague who annoys you or blaming your boss for affecting your mood indicates a lack of control over your emotions due to external factors. Taking complete responsibility for your emotions means being capable of responding to them without blaming them on external factors.
You're solely responsible for how you respond to situations and others. Keep this in mind when you feel someone is triggering you emotionally. Instead of feeling angry, acknowledge that their actions are what made you feel this way.
5. Be Mindful of Others' Emotions
Understanding others' emotions is fundamental to boosting your emotional intelligence. It prevents you from getting into unnecessary arguments with someone you disagree with.
Pay close attention to the emotional states of others. Understanding someone's feelings enables you to better comprehend how these emotions might impact that person's perceptions and behaviors
6. Avoid Excessive Use of Electronic Devices
Devoting excessive time to electronic devices can strain your relationships. Regarding emotional partners, studies have found that being engrossed in your smartphone while spending time with someone else can diminish closeness and undermine trust.
Excessive use of electronic devices can hinder an individual's capacity to perceive or comprehend emotions. As previously mentioned, this is one of the fundamental components of emotional intelligence.
In a 2014 study published in 'Computers in Human Behavior,' teenagers showed notable improvement in understanding others' emotions after spending five device-free camping days. Their enhanced perception, particularly applied to non-verbal emotional cues, happened within that short duration without electronic devices.
Setting healthy limits on your technology use can be a great idea. Avoid using your phone during face-to-face conversations and set specific time slots in your day when you don’t use your phone, such as the first hour after waking up, meal times, or before bedtime.
Taking occasional breaks from digital exposure can be truly beneficial. Spending a few days without electronic devices can significantly enhance your ability to better understand others' emotions.
7. Track Your Progress
At the end of each day, reflect on your progress and whether your interaction with a frustrated colleague was positive. Be honest with yourself.
Also, pay attention to areas that need improvement. Whether it's reacting defensively to tough feedback or allowing anxiety to hinder you from speaking to your boss at work, focus on learning from these experiences and refining your actions for the future.
Emotional Intelligence Examples
- Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in various aspects of life, notably in dealing with young children, education, business, and communication between spouses. For example, when infants wake up crying at night, a mother lacking emotional intelligence may react with frustration or exhaustion. In contrast, a mother equipped with emotional intelligence sees these moments as fleeting phases that will pass as the child grows, allowing her to handle such situations with calmness and understanding.
- In some cases, when children lie, parents' lack of emotional intelligence skills can worsen the situation, leading their children to resort to lying as a means of evading punishment. Conversely, emotionally intelligent parents regulate their emotions, analyze the situation, understand the reasons behind the lying behavior, and address it through open communication and finding solutions.
- Emotional intelligence greatly affects the success of marital relationships. Picture a tired husband returning home to unexpected in-law visits. He can react negatively due to fatigue or employ emotional intelligence. By managing emotions positively, he might think that their visit shows care for him as their son.
The examples highlight profound differences between employing and neglecting emotional intelligence skills, showcasing the resulting outcomes. Ultimately, the decision to use these skills is yours, but you've likely chosen to harness emotional intelligence due to its positive impact across all aspects of life.
In Conclusion
There's always room for refining emotional intelligence skills. Enrolling in a training program can help if you feel your emotions are overwhelming. Alternatively, reading books or seeking guidance from a coach can continually boost your emotional intelligence.
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