Note: This article is based on a blog post by Darius Foroux, in which he talks about positive support phrases.
There are still many foolish positive affirmations flying around, but they might actually work. There's scientific evidence for this. The tight spot is, however, that they are notorious. So, if you have the slightest bit of doubt about the power of positive affirmations, this article will come in handy. I'll show you how I use this "old as the hills" strategy to go great guns:
Positive affirmations are proof of your core values
Scientists define self-affirmation as the process of thinking or writing down one's core values - positive statements that overcome negative thoughts by proving your self-integrity.
Self-affirmations are not just flattering or lying to yourself. They are actually bad for people with low self-esteem or who feel depressed. In these cases, false affirmations will only make you feel like two cents. True self-affirmations are the inside wire of what you believe with all guns blazing, want to do, and actually need to do to get what you want.
Successful positive affirmations
The vital element for successful positive affirmations is not to shoot a line. It won't help to fool yourself with things you scoff at. For example, we can tell ourselves "I'm the major league out there!" millions of times. But it won't rock the boat unless we really believe in it and live it.
Here's a list of positive affirmations that have worked for me. Feel free to use them as inspiration, and I recommend you formulate your own set of positive affirmations or pull out some phrases that reflect your values:
1. “You've done it in the past, so you can do it now”
When I have a tall order, such as writing a book or running a course, I feel overwhelmed in the process, but then I ask myself, “I've done this before, so why can't I do it again?”
You can have the question roll into everything. For example, if you've written one article in the past, you can probably write another. Likewise, if you've written 100 articles, you can write a book. - one step at a time.
Here's a spot-on example of "one step at a time": I was talking about the concept of relying on small successes with a researcher named John, who is now a marathon runner with ultra-distance (more than 50 kilometers off-road). He told me that "When I started running, I had a race for 10 kilometers, and I barely finished it. I was still halfway through and felt like passing out. But in the end, I managed to get to the finish line, and I was among the last people.
Although it was a tough win, it restored my confidence to run 10 more kilometers. Eventually, I became confident enough to run 12 kilometers, then 25, then a marathon, then an ultramarathon."
You get nothing from telling yourself you "can do something" if you don't do it at all. There's a lingering voice inside our heads that blows the lid off the nonsense and lies we feed ourselves with. Instead, focus on the things you've done and use them to become a better version of yourself.
2. “Not everything waits for tomorrow”
Sometimesو we feel like skipping the gym, running from our tasks, and all that jazz. We all love procrastination, and we're masters at making excuses, such as “I'm going to lay this on the table until tomorrow” or “I'm exhausted.” Also, we often procrastinate because we don't feel like doing the job. All these reasons we come up with are mere excuses.
When things get tough, we all tend to turn a blind eye to what needs to be done. When that happens, it's good to remind yourself that the longer you put off your tasks, the harder things will get, which is why I often think of this phrase, "Not everything waits for tomorrow."
3. “Learn to love the things you do”
I often rush my work because I want to get it done ASAP, but if you're always in a rush, you may miss out on crucial details and thus cast a long shadow over the quality of your work.
If you are, remind yourself to love the things you do. Setting goals and finishing projects are important, but so is finding joy in your work. After all, you spend a lot of time at work, so it's better to learn to love it.
4. "Finish your task and move on to the next"
I tell myself, "Get it done, and move on to the next task," when I have boring or routine tasks to complete, such as paying bills, wiping my apartment spotless, or buying groceries.
I like to be more focused on what I do, but not on this kind of thing. So, I get it done and move on to something I really enjoy. We don't have to enjoy everything we do. We do a lot of things in our lives that we don't like. So, just do it and get on with your life.
5. "You're almost done"
We always have a phase where we're about to throw in the towel. Let's say you're running and you want to stop because you can barely catch your breath, or you're trying to build your first business, but life gives you lemons.
If you really want to make it big, you can't give it up halfway so it doesn't become a habit. We're often left feeling blue if we don't follow through on everything we've resolved to do, leading us into an awful downward spiral.
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6. "So what?"
I love this phrase. It's very explicit, which makes it effective. What if I'm tired, someone says bad things about me, or the topic I'm writing about is covered in many blogs? Why do we care so much about this nonsense? Life is hard enough; don't make it harder by taking everything seriously. Just say, "So what?"
7. "Let's go"
Let's say you're getting ready to hit the gym. But you don't feel like going because it's raining outside. You put off going until another time. Or maybe you're about to start your own online business, and you've got everything covered. However, you're still on tenterhooks to publish your website.
When that happens, remind yourself that the only way to make it is to push yourself. When you give it your best shot, it's time to go. There's no need to fret or try to be perfect. Stop being in two minds about it, say, “Let's go,” and do just that.
Bottom Line
Self-affirmations are about reminding yourself of your core values. It's not about fooling yourself into becoming more confident. Most of us have a big question mark on that anyway, but all of this remains interconnected. That is, are you confident because you use self-affirmations, or the other way around?
No one knows the exact answer because humans are complex beings, but the bottom line is to find a way to remind yourself of who you are and what you want. So, without those reminders, you'll fall into bad habits, and in the end, that's what we want to steer clear of.
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