4 Steps to Move Forward After Going Through Difficult Circumstances

The newspapers described the incident as the worst thing that ever happened to Edison, but this was not true because he did not see it that way at all. Instead, he considered his circumstances an enthusiastic opportunity to reconstruct and study much of his existing work.

It was reported that he said shortly after the fire: "Thank God all my mistakes are burnt out. Now I can start over." That's exactly what he and his team did. So think of similar circumstances you've been through in your life.

How many times have you heard it was the end when it was the beginning? How many times has pessimism tried to extinguish the flame of your hope? Maybe more times than you realize. The truth is that the “fires” of life overwhelm us all. We all go through circumstances that affect us deeply, and then:

1. We get worried.
2. We get disappointed.
3. We get exhausted.
4. We want to give up.
5. We are not satisfied enough.
6. We wish we had more resources.
7. We wish our jobs were different.
8. We wish our personal lives were different.
9. We think everything in life should be easier.

However, a large portion of our suffering exists only in our minds. We make things worse for ourselves when we put expectations about what reality must look like in order for us to be happy. So are you ready to follow in Edison's footsteps and live your life despite your circumstances?

Steps to move forward after unexpected circumstances

1. Noticing the story in your mind and then practicing letting it go

You may have lived through a heartbreaking story in the past without letting it control your present. Nowadays, we all feel some kind of pain, whether these feelings are anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret,, or something else.

So observe this pain inside you, watch it closely, and understand that it is caused by a story going on in your head about what happened in the past, whether recently or a long time ago. Your mind may insist that the cause of the pain you feel is what happened and not the story that is going on in your mind about what happened. However, what happened in the past isn't happening now. It's over and you've been through i,t, and you're here now. You're feeling pain now because of the story you were unconsciously telling yourself about that past incident.

Note that we are saying "story" and not "fake story", but we aren't saying "true story" either. It is not necessary for the word "story" - when you evaluate it with yourself - to indicate that it is right or wrong, positive or negative, or to judge in any way. So understand that it's just a process going on inside your mind:

• You remember something that happened.
• You subconsciously view yourself as a victim of this accident.
• Your memories of what happened are causing you pain.

So, observe the story in your mind without judging it or yourself. It is natural to have a story. We all have stories, which is how you should look at them. Understand that it is the cause of your pain, and then do your best to change your response.

Begin to bring your attention back to the present moment. Focus on what is there with you right now, such as the light, the sounds, your body, the ground under your feet, and the things and people moving around you. Refrain from judging these things or thinking about how they should be. Just accept what they are because after you accept reality, you can improve it., So, look at life as it is, without all the ideals and fantasies you have occupied yourself with.

2. Moving forward without painful judgments

Lately, the Covid-19 pandemic has been a major concern for most of us. It forced us to live in new conditions that completely restricted us mentally and physically. Everything changed radically overnight, which made us yearn for the past. We postponed or canceled many things in this period, but not everything. It is important to realize that now.

Love hasn't been postponed or canceled, nor has hope, and certainly not self-care. There are now plenty of opportunities to invest in the little things that are more important. The key is not to allow life's difficulties to blind you. Think about the toughest situations you have been through in the past. This is likely to cause you some uncomfortable feelings, and the memories associated with them may stimulate anxiety, anger, or sadness. This is the dilemma that most of us face.

Now imagine how you would feel if you could overcome these feelings, meaning not suffering from something that cannot be controlled. It is undoubtedly possible. While no solution suits everybody, it all begins with letting go of your judgments.

The truth is that it is impossible to get over a difficult situation if you are still judging it, thinking about it, and comparing it to something else. So let's revisit one painful situation from your past. Pick a situation that still triggers negative feelings in you, then ask yourself:

• Do you think it should never have happened?
• Do you think the result should have been different?
• Do you take what happened personally?
• Do you blame someone else for what happened?
• Do you blame yourself?
• Do you think it is impossible to get over what happened?

If you answered with "yes" to one or more of these questions, then the reason for your continued suffering and what prevents you from overcoming it is judgment. Your judgments of what should have happened to keep delaying the feelings of love, hope, and self-care that you know you are capable of. Now, you may think that what happened was so terrible that you can't imagine how you'll ever get over it, but letting go of your judgment doesn't mean you're happy with what happened or support it. Rather, it means you will eliminate the negative burden you carry when clinging to judgment.

When you let go of your negative judgments, you stop thinking of yourself as a victim, replacing them with acceptance and presence, which will free your mind and push you forward. The same principle applies to the challenges we are currently facing with the coronavirus pandemic, especially for people who are not sick. When we think more positively about our circumstances, we will live better despite them, and there is no reason for delay.

3. Accepting your grief

You may know someone who caught COVID-19, or you may have lost someone you love. When difficult circumstances blind us, we feel sad, and it takes time to get it. However, grief is a healthy process that allows us to start over after an unexpected end. You may have heard that grieving for a long time is unhealthy because doing so hinders healing, but this is not true. Your tears are necessary as they are t help you progress slowly in your recovery and recovery become stronger, kinder, and wiser than you were before.

Grieving the loss of people you love will give you the gift of awareness that each of us will lose someone or something and that this fact is inevitable. It is sometimes very difficult to understand, but there is a simple reason for everything. We must know the pain of loss because if we do not know it at all, we will not feel empathy towards others, and we will gradually become selfish monsters who only care about our own interests, and we will never be satisfied with what we have.

The terrible pain of loss teaches us humility, warms the hardest heart, and transforms a good person into a better person. So, while grief can be a painful burden in the short term, it can also be a starting point for recovery and the beginning of a path to a better life in the long term.

We get used - as human beings - to the weight of sadness and how it shackles us. For example, you may feel every day for the rest of your life that you are losing the person who passed away. There is nothing wrong with that because it brings you closer to them. Sadness does not disappear, but dually becomes a part of us, possibly a healthy part.

Although we may never stop feeling sad completely, simply because we never stop loving the people we have lost, we can benefit from our love for them at the present moment. We can love and imitate them as an inspiration daily.

By d,oing so, we warmly commemorate them in our broken hearts that never quite heal, and we continue to grow and experience life even with our wounds. It's like a broken ankle that doesn't heal completely. It always hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway, even if you limp a bit. It adds depth to your performance and the sincerity of your personality.

4. Choosing a new response

Regardless of your circumstances, you can have the strength to ask yourself: "How can I respond with clarity and power today instead of continuing to react with anger and resist the painful experiences I have been forced to live through?” Consider this question for a moment.

Whenever you feel like you're going to respond in the same old way, stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and try to choose a response that leads to a healthy change and move on to something new. That is, try to redirect your focus by taking it away from the things you can't change and that weigh you down. Instead, focus on something small and changeable that pushes you forward now.

Nothing stops you now or hinders you except your thoughts and reactions to your circumstances. You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you in the past or that happens to you today. Still, you have to be responsible for changing the patterns of thinking and behavior with which you respond to those circumstances.

It's about thinking well, so you can finally live well. Your greatest weapon against pain is your ability to stop, breathe, choose another response, and train your mind to make the most of what you have, even when it's less than you expected. You can change how you think and respond, and then you can master a new way of living.

In conclusion

Life will get better when you get better yourself. So, start investing in yourself mentally and physically from this moment, and choose a new response.

Make it a priority to learn and grow daily by developing and sticking to positive habits. The stronger you become, the more you feel that your life is getting better in the long run.