Note: This article is by Erin Falconer, who shares a 4-step approach to dealing with negative thoughts.
As I pondered, I wasn't sure of my eligibility for the NBA. I used to heed their opinions, fearing I might not reach the league. Rather than rejecting it outright, I allowed doubt to infiltrate, impacting my performance.
However, I didn't make it to the NBA for various reasons, one being my struggle to handle the negative thoughts that haunted me since high school and even persisted through college and beyond.
My coach, parents, and friends pointed out my negative mindset, stressing the importance of positivity to reach my goals—whether it was making it to the NBA, graduating from college, pursuing further studies, or anything else I aspired to achieve.
I hesitantly accepted their advice, but deep inside, I screamed, “I can't just turn positive. I'm wired for negativity, and it's not that simple to change. Wanting negative thoughts to vanish won't make it happen. What should I do?”
Unlike physical injuries that we treat with rest, protection, and therapy until they heal, negative thoughts lack a clear remedy or treatment.
However, psychologists claim treatments exist, but there's no clear-cut remedy. Negative thoughts can't be easily expelled; there's no set of exercises to banish them. They persist, which isn't inherently negative.
Negative thoughts act as alerts. In other words, they're the primal instincts that safeguard us. For this, one shouldn't consider them an illness requiring treatment. When tension arises, our minds translate it into words, giving us the power to choose how we respond.
This is indeed a blessing, yet some, myself included at times, see it as a curse. It's wonderful to confidently present without having troubling thoughts, such as experiencing voice cracks or coming across as dumb.
That sounds ideal, but it’s not realistic. It's part of our humanity—to err and to succeed. While we can engage our minds, read, write, and make thoughtful decisions, the blessing enabling these remarkable abilities can also become a curse, limiting our potential.
4 Steps to Deal with Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts shouldn't always dictate your actions. Occasionally, you'll need to act contrary to what your thoughts prompt you to do. These steps unlock your full potential:
1. Walking While Affirming “I Can't Walk”
Just stroll around, repeating the phrase “I can't walk.” Say it aloud or in your mind. Do this for a minute and notice the shifts in your mind and body instantly.
2. Choosing Two Simple Tasks
Besides walking, experiment with other easy tasks like brushing your teeth or carrying a pillow while repeating the phrase “I can't walk, brush my teeth, and carry a pillow simultaneously.” Allocate a minute or so each day over the next week to practice these exercises.
3. Gradually Increase The Challenge
After a week, ramp up the challenge. Swap walking for a ten-second jog. Instead of carrying one pillow, try holding two while repeating, “I can't jog and carry two pillows simultaneously.” Gradually, begin identifying real-life examples of negative thoughts. Explore their reality and understand they don't have to influence your actions.
4. Thoughts Acceptance
Thoughts and emotions emerge in multiple ways during the day. They aren't aimed at undermining you. They try to assist, though not always effectively. Sometimes, you must heed the thought and act contrary to its demands.
In Conclusion
You can give a stellar presentation despite fearing failure, speak fluently when feeling embarrassed, say the right thing even when thinking otherwise, and choose positivity over negative thoughts.
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