Note: This article is adapted from the blogger Melissa Chu, who shares her experience with fears.
In life, unexpected obstacles that are difficult to overcome may arise. At such times, it is easy to succumb to thoughts of despair and helplessness. There is no doubt that failure is a painful feeling, whether it is professionally or in relationships; you feel as if you are less than others and incapable of achieving what they have reached.
Failure is a fundamental stage before success, and it may happen repeatedly. It is a testament to determination, effort, and not giving up. On the other hand, there may be some fears that hinder you from achieving your goals.
Four fears, along with the proper way to deal with each of them
1. Fear of Failure
You may have this type of fear without even realizing it, and it often manifests through negative self-talk like, "It's okay if I don't achieve my goal," or "X succeeded, but I can't right now; maybe later."
Pay attention to your internal dialogue, as you may be addressing yourself with unrealistic statements. When you have the ability to observe your thoughts and control them, you can change your perspective on failure, considering it a learning experience.
Over time, you will become more aware of your mistakes and gain better insight into what needs to be done to avoid falling into the same problem next time.
2. Fear of Letting Go
Sometimes, we desire to hold onto things, whether they are memories from the past, a loved one, or a familiar place. People often find comfort in familiar things, but this can hinder their progress if they become overly attached.
For example, after the passing of their parents, the owner of a restaurant assumed management responsibilities.
However, their deep emotional attachment and determination to preserve their parents' legacy led them to reject any alterations or suggestions aimed at enhancing the business.
Unfortunately, this reluctance to embrace change put the project in jeopardy, as it hindered any potential improvements.
The past is an essential part of our lives, and we should not forget the people who were part of it. However, life goes on, and change is necessary for progress and growth.
It's beautiful to cherish memories from the past and not forget the people who have been part of our lives. Still, it's equally essential to embrace change for us to move forward in life.
3. Fear of Success
Fear of failure is common, but fear of success can have a similar impact. You may become anxious about what the future holds, how you will manage situations and interact with people in various circumstances, or how you will find enough time for yourself when you reach high levels of success.
I experienced this fear for the first time when I launched my personal blog. I was so excited, but I was also anxious about the potential future circumstances. I was afraid of feeling overwhelmed and not being able to handle success properly when it reached a certain level.
I planned for many things and possibilities that hadn't happened yet or had happened after a long time. My fears were not realistic, yet I couldn't overcome them.
I have found a suitable way to deal with my fear of success. I realized that there's no need to worry about future things I'm thinking about in the present moment. I will handle my affairs when they happen at the right time. So, when starting a new project, I don't think about the distant stages and their requirements. Instead, I only focus on the first step, and over time, I will find an appropriate way to deal with all the subsequent stages.
4. Fear of Wasting Time
I received an email from a reader inquiring about my stance on changing careers. In the email, the reader expressed concerns about the prospect of making a career change, primarily driven by the fear of wasting time.
This sentiment is one I've encountered frequently, and I am convinced that this fear indeed exerts a substantial influence on individuals when it comes to deciding whether to pursue new endeavors.
Allocating time to master a profession can limit the ability to focus on something else. In this context, it's crucial to determine what matters most to us and what we want to dedicate our time to. Instead of feeling indecisive about a particular goal, ask yourself, "Will I regret not taking this step?"
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