"It's time to be imperfect," says productivity strategist Tanya Dalton.
A new report by The New York Times found that parents, especially mothers with children at home, are significantly more stressed during the pandemic than single or childless people. Women bear the brunt in these circumstances. For the first time ever, we are asked to reconcile it all.
The solution is actually simple. For anyone who seeks perfection—especially women—it's time to accept that none of us is perfect and realize that no matter how hard one tries to control things, some situations will get out of control. This is the right time to feel vulnerable. We are all human, and we are likely to feel that way.
3 Simple Ways to Stop Striving for Perfection
So, follow the 3 approaches below, and you will overcome this feeling:
1. Find out what kind of perfectionist you are
If you are looking to solve a problem, the first thing you should do is admit that you are facing one. In this context, it means finding out what kind of perfectionist you are. If you don't already know that, there are two different types:
1.1. The striver
If you're a striver, you might not have a problem starting a task or project, but you set impossible standards. You might set goals for yourself and make an extraordinary effort, but your standards are unattainable. So you constantly strive against failure.
1.2. The idealist
If you are an idealist, you might never start, as you spend so much time imagining what an ideal future would look like without starting out in reality. As your thoughts are ideal and close to perfection, you know that you will never come close to realizing the great vision in your mind, which drives you to continue dreaming.
You might have discovered that you belong to one of these two types, which is good, as you can now define your problem.
2. Express disapproval and say “No”
Although the word "No" is simple, we all—especially women—have difficulty saying it. However, we must express our acceptance of the things we really want and say “Yes” to what is consistent with our values and what satisfies us.
Here are five easy questions you can ask yourself to find out how you really feel about a certain opportunity. If the answer is “No” to any of these questions, don't be afraid to reject them.
- Do you want to do this?
- Why do you want to do this?
- How long will it take?
- Do you have enough time?
- Will doing this satisfy you?
The fifth question, in particular, will guide you to the correct answer.
3. Think about the three priority levels if you have doubts
Now, you might be thinking about what to do when you have to accept things that don't necessarily satisfy you. Just like any rule, there are exceptions. You might not want to go with your son to watch him train, but at the same time, he is a priority in your life.
When you have doubts about what you should prioritize in your life, think about the three levels of priority listed below. One of the problems with perfectionism is feeling helpless or not being able to control your schedule. Therefore, the three-level prioritization system will help you.
1.3. Important, urgent tasks
These tasks drive us towards long-term goals, and they have an urgent deadline. Therefore, they are at the top of the priority list, and they are the tasks that we should start our day with. However, you shouldn't spend all your time on this level because when you are in a hurry, you do not give yourself time to innovate or explore creative solutions, which leads you to the second level.
2.3. Important, non-urgent tasks
These tasks bring us closer to our ultimate goals as they focus on future planning and self-improvement, but they do not have a deadline. Since there is no urgent deadline, it is very easy to miss these tasks. So we have to focus more on this level. These are the tasks and projects that will enhance your professional and perssonal live.
3.3. Urgent, non-important tasks
These are the tasks that might have an urgent deadline but do not help us reach our long-term goals. However, since they are urgent, we prioritize them to finish them, but we should spend as little time as possible at this level. For example, if the kitchen is messy and needs cleaning, we can clean it up later after working on the important things.
When we organize our priorities list, we stop wasting our energy deciding what to do next, and we work according to our priorities. This is what distinguishes a busy person from a truly productive person. It also helps us eliminate the procrastination that perfectionists suffer from.
Remember that perfectionism prevents you from reaching your full potential. It's time to set yourself free. You can do that.
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