What Do You Have to Do to Make a Difference in Your Life?

There is an important lesson here, one that we often overlook. When reality is chaotic around us, we often try to ease our anxiety by imposing our will on things we cannot control because this helps us avoid confronting the most fearful emotion, which is helplessness.

With this in mind, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that almost everything is out of your control. For example, what other people do, the weather, and whether or not your efforts will be appreciated all depend on factors that you do not influence, but that in itself is good news.

The frustration of trying to change the things you can't change is the source of much unhappiness, and accepting that most things are out of your control gives you explicit permission to let them run their course.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said: “Some things we can control, and others are beyond our control. For the things we control are our thoughts and what we seek, that is, our actions, whatever they are, and the things we cannot control are the body, possessions, reputations, orders, that is, everything that is not our doing.”

Overcoming the “three big problems” that many of us struggle with every day — unhappiness, not being convinced that things will change, and not knowing what to do next begins with understanding what you can and cannot control.

Changing the mindset here is not easy. Most of us have spent our lives worrying about things we can't control, and society encourages this. For most people, this well-intentioned habit should be replaced by a sound understanding of how much we can change. But it's hard to do it when you constantly hear phrases like, "Why not?" Just get over it?" Or “simply give it up.” We've all heard some form of this advice before, and it makes some sense.

While “time heals all wounds,” wounds heal differently depending on how they are treated. If you ignore the wound, it will leave a large scar and will be susceptible to infection again in the future, so we sew the wound, as this helps it heal in a way that reduces the chance of infection again later. Emotional wounds are similar to that. After enough time has passed, most emotional pain will heal, but not as it should.

Just "recovery" leaves scars:

Emotional scars are loads that weigh us down in every aspect of our lives, and these scars build up until one day you wake up with one or more of the “three big problems.” So, don't get over it, but face it and live it step by step, and you will want to “skip” difficult experiences or situations instead of facing them. Revisiting painful memories or facing current pain is difficult, and we humans try as much as possible not to cause pain to ourselves, but ignoring the problem does not mean that it does not exist.

In addition to scars, ignoring or underestimating a wound puts you at risk of infection, both emotionally and physically. The issues in your life occupy space in your mind, affect your decisions, relationships, and attitudes, and rob you of your happiness and potential.

You may feel that doing the difficult and necessary things to solve your problems and heal your wounds is impossible, and it may seem that it is impossible to move anywhere and that you cannot move forward. If you feel that way now, your feelings are not wrong; Big progress happens gradually with time and commitment, and it's all about taking one small positive step after another and staying on track.

The power of small changes:

Think of the fact that it takes just one degree Celsius change to turn water into steam or snow into water. That's a small change, but the results are exciting. Likewise, a small change can make a big difference in the world.

Consider another example where the effects of a small change accumulate over time and distance. You might be trying to go to a specific place but only got off course by one small degree in the wrong direction: 

1. How many people persist with unhealthy and unproductive habits?
2. How many people put off taking the next positive step?
3. How many people live each day of their lives one step away from where they ultimately want to be?

Don't be one of them anymore.

Everyone travels 24 hours a day, and whether they're moving in the right direction or not, your life will be better if you commit to making a small amount of effort to improve something in your situation every day.