First of All, Let’s Define Assertive:
An assertive person is someone who has a strong and forceful personality, someone who isn’t afraid and is always confident in what they’re saying, what they’re doing, and most importantly, who they are. But pay attention—there is a very thin line between being assertive and being arrogant, which is why this confidence is a double-edged sword that you have to carefully carry and use throughout your career and life in general. No one likes to be around an arrogant person, so be more aware of what the word assertive means and what positive and negative sides it has.
Let’s give a quick example of the difference between assertiveness and arrogance. Say you had a meeting, and your boss called you out on something wrong you did. An assertive person would talk to the boss privately after the meeting to let them know that they don’t appreciate being called out in front of everyone in this manner. An arrogant person, on the other hand, would fire back immediately in front of everyone with no fear of offending the boss. As a communication skill, assertiveness relies on mutual respect as well as respect for the other person. Furthermore, you respect and defend yourself. Even so, you still show respect to others and show you are trying to resolve the conflict in a constructive way.
The Best Ways to Be More Assertive:
Unlocking your assertive side has many ways; let’s mention some of them in detail so you can have a better understanding of what to do and what to change.
1. Speak Your Mind Loud and Clear:
When you have something on your mind—a thought, a disagreement, or an idea for a new policy—you say it without any hesitation. In the end, what’s the worst that can happen? If you only speak your mind without offending anyone, you should be safe. So never hold back on what you want to say because most of the time, it’s more effective than you might think.
2. Be More Confident:
If you aren't satisfied with others' ideas, being confident makes it easier for you to advocate for your own ideas and opinions. A confident person is less likely to take criticism personally because he or she is not tempted to take it personally. Looking back at your achievements and analyzing them to see how your skills, experience, and knowledge contributed to these accomplishments is a proven technique for becoming more confident. You will also gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your goals as a result.
3. Voice Your Needs:
In order to become assertive, you must learn to communicate and voice your needs. You can achieve greater success in your career by effectively articulating yourself, as well as at work by performing tasks that directly affect the success of your employer. By analyzing how you have approached conversations in the past and improving your communication skills, you can improve your ability to clearly communicate your needs. You might want to start conversations by describing the issue you would like to address in a concise manner. Don't make your interpretation the focus, but rather share facts. A good example would be explaining how you are more productive when working alone or from home and proving that you have successfully completed an important task while in a quiet environment if you feel uncomfortable working in an open-space office. As a result, you will be able to explain your needs directly to a coworker or supervisor as they relate to your position.
4. Know Your Boundaries:
Your well-being at work depends on knowing your limits. Despite being difficult to learn, saying “no” to your colleagues or supervisors can be a useful skill in situations when someone expects too much from you. In addition to protecting your time and managing your workload more efficiently, setting clear boundaries is also essential to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Understanding your limitations requires listening to your thoughts to identify situations that make you feel uncomfortable or overworked. As part of this exercise, you can also identify what is most important to you. You can communicate to your manager that you're not interested in working more than this amount each month, for example, if you want to pay off your student loan within the next two years.
5. Speak an Assertive Language:
You can boost your confidence by using assertive language when expressing your needs or saying “no.” When you communicate assertively, you show respect and advocate for yourself in a tactful, direct, honest, and appropriate manner. Maintain passive eye contact with your conversation partner in order to sound and look more assertive. Additionally, you should use one-word phrases to describe feelings, such as "anxious," "happy, and "frustrated," so that your message is clearer. Consider using “I” statements when forming your responses, for example: “I always feel anxious when you ask me to cover for you.” If you want to communicate effectively while being assertive, you should comment on how you feel, explain when you feel that way, mention what causes you to feel that way, and suggest a solution.
6. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive:
You can avoid situations where things get tense between you and your coworkers by understanding the difference between assertiveness and aggression. In both of these situations, assertive behavior is expressed while remaining empathetic and respectful. As opposed to aggression, which occurs when one party is aggressive towards the other, it makes it difficult to maintain positive working relationships.
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