To answer this question, we must step back and ask "what is a personality actually?" In other words, if I meet you, how can I get to know you? What questions will I ask you? And what answers will I get? What will remain hidden? And what will appear publicly?
What are the things that describe personality and represent the self?
There are different things that can describe your personality and define yourself. For example, you can tell me about your job, whether you have children, and what hopes you have. You can also mention your three main life goals or tell me if you would describe yourself as an assertive, indulgent, fun, or nervous person.
To sort out these multiple aspects, personality psychologists created models and frameworks that they found after a series of observations, research and studies. A very notable example is "The Practical Guide to Studying People's Personalities" (McAdams, 2013; McAdams & Pals, 2006).
Social theory in the interpretation of the human self:
The social level explains how people are in the "routine side of life". The social factor describes how people think, feel, and act in their daily lives, such as when they go to work, talk to their best friends, or eat dinner. One of the most common classifications that personality psychologists use for social level is the big five personality traits (John & Srivastava, 1999), which are openness to experience, conscience, happiness, acceptance, and neuroticism.
Details of psychological qualities in the human self:
Highly open people tend to be thinkers and imaginatives, whereas conscientious people are inclusive, organized, responsible and obligated to their duties. People with high levels of happiness tend to be talkative, social, assertive, and energetic. They are more likely to look for life situations in which they show muscle and are positively impactful.
People with a high level of compatibility also tend to be kind, well-meaning, compliant, and cooperative with those around them, while neurotic people tend to be anxious, moody, easily upset, and have a negative perception of the social environment.
Are these qualities considered firm rules in the human self?
What is more important is that these traits are situational tendencies, meaning that your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors may be different from your general tendency simply because the situation requires more creativity, assertiveness, or silence than your general tendency. When the social motive - which takes into account how people think, feel and act - is awakened, the ambitious side of the personality comes with a pen and paper to plan for the future. It is concerned with all aspects that talk about motives, goals, expectations, and other social and cognitive characteristics that people have.
For example, Noor may be open in a special way because she aims to find a new partner, or Sarah may lose herself in books because she wants to understand electromagnetic radiation, and so it continues. Goals provide people with a reason to do what they do and invest energy and time in their projects. The ambitious side of personality also plays an important role in romantic relationships.
The biographer is an intrinsic element of the human self:
Scholars call another element of personality "the autobiographer", who connects where they are now with the personal future and past. The biographer tells the story of their life with its ups and downs. For example, John may have been shy in his teenage years, but moving to another country was a turning point for him. It led to a major change in his personality and he became more adventurous.
What is the most individual aspect of the human self?
Psychologist William Dunlop (2015) described the narration of a life tape as the most individual aspect of a person because even if two people had exactly the same experiences, they would never tell exactly the same story. Also, the narratives are never consistent, as our lives are constantly unfolding, and people's stories and life events are constantly changing.
We are all made up of a mixture of personalities at every moment. We think, feel, and act in different ways. We are motivated by our goals and needs. We can tell how we became the person we are by reading the tape of our lives, not only from our birth, but from the prenatal stage and the nature of the relationship between the parents. Therefore, the personality elements are not separate parts of the person, but they are theoretically and empirically linked to each other (Bühler 2020).
Does the spirit of the era affect the elements of the human self?
Each birth group was formed in different contexts and experienced different living conditions. Therefore, birth groups often differ in their values and living preferences. Teenagers of the "new generation" (commonly known as millennials) were born between the late 1980s and early 2000s.
Compared to previous generations, Millennials tend to be more individualistic. This may be reflected in their selves' attitude towards the social and romantic structures in which their parents and grandparents live. It's also reflected in their preference for more individual forms of relationships, as marriage and the joint family are only an option, not a necessary or compulsory thing.
What is the hierarchy of self needs?
If we think of the basic needs of the human subject, the first thing that comes to mind is Maslow's hierarchy of needs (Maslow, 1954). Maslow says that people have different levels of needs, which are arranged hierarchically. It starts with the needs of safety and survival to the needs of belonging and love, and then the needs of respect. The last level includes the needs of self-realization and skills development.
Real-life examples of Maslow's hierarchy:
If a level of needs is met, man can move to the next level and move up the ladder in order. For example, let's consider the story of our friend “Reham” who recently moved to a new city and is worried about belonging to this new place. She may not consider self realization as an important need because she does not feel socially connected and accepted in the environment in which she lives.
Hazem - unlike Reham - feels safe, practices social communication skills, and is loved in his social circle. Therefore, he is now striving for self-realization and the development of his professional, scientific, functional or other skills. So, the needs of the human self reflect the conditions and context in which a person lives.
How does Maslow's hierarchy relate to the needs of the new millennial generation?
The final level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs - the need for personal development - appears to be important, especially to millennials nowadays (Finkel et al., 2014). This is what we see in the ways young people begin, develop, and then end their romantic relationships. They desire a space for their development, which is why they often prefer to live in separate families, or they may spoil relationships in a short time if they feel that they are no longer allowed the space they need.
Are romantic relationships important to achieve happiness from the perspective of millennials?
A recent study (Scheling and Richter 2021) investigated whether these needs are also reflected in young people's ideas about relationships. The main question in the study was whether new millennials differ from previous generations' teens in the importance they attribute to romantic relationships as a necessity for their personal happiness.
To answer their question, the researchers used data from the German Socio-Economic Organization (SOEP), which began operations in 1984. At the beginning of the study, the 17 year old teens answered the question: "Do you think you need a partner to be happy? Or do you think you can be happy or happier on your own?".
Over time, a total of 4,540 teens of different age groups provided an answer to this question. This enabled the researchers to compare the responses of millennial teens with those of previous generations. What did they find? Interestingly, in 2000, nearly 78% of teens thought they needed a partner to be happy. That number dropped to 48% in 2015. So, the later teens come, the less likely they are to assure the need for a partner in order to achieve their personal happiness compared to those who preceded them.
In conclusion:
Entering into a satisfying romantic relationship can be an important component of a happy and fulfilling life. However, in this era, the paths of relationships and forms of living have become more diverse, and staying in a relationship is no longer a necessary condition for happiness (at least among people of the new generation). The same may be true for other people at some point in their lives. For some, having a relationship may be more important than anything else, while for others it is less important.
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