The Art of Ignoring: Its Benefits and Ways of Acquiring It

First: what is the art of condoning “ignoring ”?

Most of the problems that we encounter during the course of our lives are caused by an increased focus on the details of each event and the meaning of each word that we are told and every behavior that we are concerned with. Therefore, we need what is called ignoring or tolerance in order to continue. In essence, ignoring means overcoming abuse and ignoring it as if it were not and did not come. That is, turning away from an event - whether it is from an enemy, a relative or a friend - and this caused you some kind of harm, whether it is psychological, moral, material or physical

Ignoring also means disregarding a defect or deficiency that exists in another person with your knowledge of the existence of this or that qualification in that person in order to avoid counting the misdeeds of others, catching their mistakes, and exploiting the lapses in which they fall, and not reminding them of embarrassing situations and events for them, especially in front of others in order to obtain peace of mind and not to enter into records that may endlessly have serious consequences from continuous quarrel, rude words, and a break that occurs between individuals and negative feelings that possess the individual and lead to disturbing his life.

Second: Forms of ignoring

1. Ignoring within the family, whether between spouses or in the upbringing of children:

Marriage often witnesses many problems, whether their causes are large or not important, and yet the quarrels between the two parties begin. For example, one of them begins to accuse the other of bad qualities although it is not in their nature to do so. Here the importance of ignoring and appreciating the moment of anger of the other party and not thinking about abandoning them and leaving them alone is highlighted. Rather, they should be careful and allow them enough time to think about positions and realize their mistake.

Many problems may occur while parents are raising children, and here many behaviors should be dismissed and instead of constantly criticizing them, they should seek to encourage and correct their behavior in a pleasant and loving way in order to be a good and healthy family and social upbringing.

2. Ignoring in the Workplace:

The work environment is the environment that pushes people to be clearer and not to be courteous and justify the mistakes of others. Perhaps it is the most place in which an individual can suffer so that they can master ignoring and rise above the mistakes of colleagues. Therefore, one should not focus excessively on the details that lead the individual to get into problems and bring difficulties to themselves and their work because all of this will be reflected in their practical achievement.

Third: What are the benefits of ignoring?

1. Studying the problem in all its aspects: Ignoring earns the individual enough time to think about the causes and dimensions of the problem, and to study the appropriate response that ends with the smallest losses for the individual and for others.
2. Positive emotions: Not getting into quarrels with others and maintaining friendly relationships away from the outbursts of anger that hinder the completion of projects in your life will positively reflect on your personality and life, and will make you feel a sense of inner peace that makes you move forward accompanied by a sense of inner peace, love, and giving towards others.
3. Ignoring the actions of others gives them the opportunity to review what they have done and to realize their mistakes, and gives them the opportunity to undo them.
4. Gaining respect from others for their good morals and patience.
5. Maintaining the stability of the family in the first place and the stability of society in general.
6. Closing the doors of evil and opening the doors of good for all.
7. Receiving the satisfaction of God Almighty, so negligence is a praiseworthy characteristic with God Almighty.

Fourth: Methods to help you acquire the art of Ignoring "condone"

Before mentioning any of the things that can help in acquiring the skill of the art of ignoring and condoning, everyone must be aware of the fact that the human being is bound to make mistakes. Who among us has not made a mistake, either in their own self or in the rights of others? Who among us has never said words that hurt the feelings of others? Who among us has not encountered people with whom they could not agree and disagreements arose between them? During everyday life, a person is exposed to circumstances that may cause them to make mistakes, most of which may have been unintended, so these are steps that can help them acquire the skill of the art of ignoring:

1. You must be a realistic person and do not expect that all the individuals you have met or will meet will have the perfect personality.
2. Everyone you deal with - whether your mother, father, husband, wife, children, relatives or work friends - is a human being and the human being is obliged to make mistakes. So, do not expect your life to go with them according to a plan that you have developed alone according to your thinking about them. You must understand the idea of the difference between you and your different goals and priorities as well.
3. Focusing on the good qualities in others: Every human being has bad and good qualities, so it is useful to try to avoid mentioning bad qualities in others. Rather, try to evoke every good quality in the other human, encourage it, and praise its presence in them, as that way will make you treat them better and you are helping them in an indirect way, as they will work to improve themselves more and more to gain satisfaction and social respect.
4. Being wise: It is not good to go through all the experiences and battles sometimes and win them. It is wise sometimes to give up some things in order to maintain your relationships, and the problem itself may involve that behavior.
5. Being emotionally intelligent and managing our emotions well.
6. Tolerance: God is forgiving and merciful, and His servant must follow His wisdom. So, make your heart compassionate and merciful away from the behavior of revenge and gloating others, and forgive their abuse against you.
7. Invest your life properly and stay away from overthinking and scrutinizing details.

Fifth: Tips in Ignoring

1. Do not ignore actions that include sin or disobedience to God Almighty.
2. Do not ignore actions that harm the unity and cohesion of the family and society.
3. Do not ignore actions that harm others and cause them harm of any kind.
4. Ignoring the wrong or harmful act or behavior and not the person who did it, as what they may need most at that moment is the support of others.
5. Differentiate between ignoring and negligence: Negligence is a kind of stupidity, inattentiveness, and naivety, or sometimes omission and not paying due attention to things, while ignoring is paying attention to everything and ignoring specific wrong behavior.
6. Stay away from scrutinizing the details. Apart from being stressful for thinking and nerves, and an obstacle to the completion of your work, it has consequences that are not good most of the time.
7. Do not get involved in things and issues that do not concern you in the sense that you should stay away from curiosity and respect the privacy of others as much as possible to avoid making mistakes and getting into quarrels with them.

Sixth: Statements in ignoring

1. Al-Amash: "Ignoring extinguishes so much evil."
2. Al Rabee Ibn al-Salman said: I heard Imam al-Shafi'i say: "The intelligent and wise person is the smart and ignoring person."
3. Omar bin Othman Al-Makki: "The act of wisdom is ignoring the brotherhood's missteps."
4. The poet Abu Tamam says: "The idiot is not a master among his people, but the master of his people is the idiot."
5. Al-Asma'i: "Forget the bads of the brotherhood, it perpetuates your affection."
6. Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal: "Ignoring is Nine-tenths of Good Creation."
7. Muawiya bin Abi Sufian: "The mind is one-third intelligent, and one-third ignoring."
8. Ibn al-Jawzi: “Ignoring missteps is still one of the most honorable traits. If a person cares about every slip and sin, he gets tired and exhausted, and the intelligent and sane person is the one who does not scrutinize every small and big thing with his family, loved ones, friends, neighbors, and colleagues, so that his company is sweet and his companionship is pure".
9. A fox said:

I turn a blind eye to my friend.		As if I am ignorant of what comes of it
And I have no ignorance except that my creation		You can bear the possibility of hate while trying

Conclusion:

The ability of ignoring mistakes is an art that is not mastered by everyone. It is one of the signs of the preponderance of the mind, the capacity of the chest and the ability to be patient. The ignoring person is a sane human being who transcends the slips, lapses, and mistakes of others if they do not result in prejudice to the principles, whether social or religious, governing society.