How so? Well, think about how sometimes people’s words have little to no effect on you. You were persuaded to do something or moved emotionally when talking to someone because of the way they stood in front of you or because of how they sounded.
These hidden cues we refer to as "tone of voice" and "body language." They’re the means through which a big part of effective communication is done. There are so many more cues we can discuss. Physical proximity, eye contact, smiling, etc.
All of them have a profound effect on how you appear during social interactions. Let’s discuss non-verbal communication in more depth, and see how it can help us in our daily lives.
1. Your Face Tells the Whole Story:
Facial expressions are a big part of nonverbal communication. The better you understand how they work, the more effective you’ll be at getting your message across to someone.
Let’s discuss each type of facial expression and its relation to your communication.
1.1. Sadness:
When you see someone who is sad, for example, it sets the stage for how the rest of the interaction will go. In such a context, your words carry a lot of weight. How you use them will make you appear as a solid friend giving support or as an uncaring person who doesn’t understand the gravity of a situation. The sad person will usually speak in a low tone of voice and avoid making eye contact. Their facial expressions will be those of someone who is shocked. Make sure you watch out for these signs to better communicate with them.
1.2. Happiness:
A happy person will come in all smiles and giggles when around others. They’ll let you know that their day is great and that life seems to be just fine. You should be able to immediately notice the positive energy emitting from their smile, their active facial movements, and how they use words that convey a sense of inner peace. Your objective in such a context is obviously to continue this pattern. Share with them your best moments too, and wish them more happiness in their lives.
1.3. Anger:
Angry people frown a lot. This communicates feelings of hurt, mistreatment, or just that someone is having a bad day. People’s anger spills over into how they communicate their ideas. They’re usually loud, in a hurry, and just want to get rid of the source of their anger. When interacting with an angry person, do your best to soothe their anxieties, encourage them to see the bright side of a situation, and avoid discussing things that have no relation to the story they’re telling.
There are facial expressions for every kind of emotion, and it would take us forever to discuss all of them. The takeaway here is to be wary of the looks on people’s faces. It’s a nonverbal communication cue that helps a lot in social interactions.
2. Keep Your Nonverbal Communication Consistent:
While nonverbal communication can be used in your favour, it can also backfire horribly if you don’t know what you’re doing.
A crucial aspect of becoming an effective communicator is to stay consistent with your body language and tone of voice. For example, if you’re talking about how cool the 90s were in terms of music but something about your body language is off, people will notice that.
It will create a feeling of contradiction in their minds because how can someone be so confident about a topic yet somehow appear as if they don’t care? That’s the kind of message you’re sending across.
One way to correct that is to maintain good posture. While there might be medical concerns about this one, strive to do your best to stand upright and look people in the eye when talking.
This feeling of unease can also be brought about by your tone of voice. If someone is discussing their favourite recipe for dinner and you converse with them as if something made you feel disgusted, they’re going to feel it.
The interaction will probably end before you know it, and you’ll be left dumbfounded because, in your mind, you said nothing wrong. Again, it’s really important to watch how your words come across, even in the most informal of situations.
In general, being consistent with your nonverbal communication requires mindfulness and attention to detail. It’s the largest barrier that stands in the way of people looking to improve their social skills.
3. Gesture Your Way Into Someone’s Heart:
Gestures are another way that intentions and thoughts are communicated without explicitly saying a word.
The most common gestures are:
- Waving: It could mean someone is saying “Hi” or telling you to look in their direction.
- Pointing: Used for giving directions and taking a cab in some countries.
- Thumbs Up: Used to express agreement, positivity, and understanding of something.
There are a lot more, many of them specific to culture, and so their meanings tend to vary. For example, we have:
- The V Sign: In countries like the U.S, V sign symbolises peace or victory. In other countries, however, like Canada or Australia, it’s an insult. So be wary of using such gestures in their right context.
You can take your nonverbal communication to a very high level if you learn how to use gestures at the right time and place.
It’s a fascinating concept, and there’s really no way to cover all of them here. Some places put a limit on the number of gestures you can use, usually in formal places like a courtroom.
At the same time, some gestures can feel rude or unwelcome to a lot of people. For example, if you roll your eyes when someone is speaking, it might be taken the wrong way to mean they’re boring.
Another commonly misused one is looking at the watch. Sure, some people want to keep track of time, but if you keep looking at your watch, it’s a gesture that you’re not really paying attention and would rather be elsewhere.
4. Your Choice of Wardrobe Matters:
We don’t like to admit it, but it’s true. Clothes tell a lot about a person without them saying anything.
There’s not much to explain here because you’ve probably encountered this in your daily life a lot. If you dress to the nines, it gives off the impression that you’re well-off, stylish, and like to appear your best in front of others.
On the other hand, if you wear baggy, torn, or unfitting clothes, it could be a sign that you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t care how you look, which means you don’t care how others perceive you, or that you’re just poor and don’t have a lot of money.
Clothing matters way more than we’d like to think, so you should be mindful of what you’re wearing when going to a certain place or location.
It could be the difference between someone warming up to you when you talk to them or stepping away and avoiding you like the plague.
In Conclusion:
Nonverbal communication is a world of its own. There are so many unwritten rules, cues, and nuances that it’s just not practical to discuss them all here.
We’ve given you a quick look at some of the top ways people communicate without uttering a word, and make no mistake about it: this is THE way communication occurs without us noticing.
Your job now is to be wary of these basics and learn more about them. You should then strive to apply them in your day-to-day interactions, as they’ll help you improve your social skills immensely.
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